Volume VIII - Issue 399 - July 28, 2008
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
|Argon||@Action News to reach 400 issues|
The next issue of @Action News will mark the 400th edition of this publication. A lot has happened in that time, both as described in the paper and to it. It has gone through differing formats, editors, servers and writing styles.
If you would like to comment or share your thoughts, memories or impressions about @Action News for the 400th issue, please feel free to do so. Just send whatever you might like to email@example.com
This is your lil raccoonie, Zoie, letting you in on the next little astral event.
As of now, we are in the season of the Perseid meteor shower. It started around July 17th with a few and peaks around August 11-12. You should see about 50-100 BRIGHT meteors per hour. The best time to watch it is between 1:30am and just before daybreak!
Though the current moon is a gibbous (a waxing moon) might interfere with a bit of the viewing, the majority of the night should be phenominal for the star viewing!
So mark your calendars!
|Various Sources||Local Bear Starts Centaur Grooming Service|
Members of the Spindizzy centaur community may be interested to know that Ba'ar, local bear, has started a grooming service just for them. "Let's face it, centaurs are huge creatures with limited mobility. They can't always get to every lock of hair or fur on their bodies. That's where I come in." he is quoted as saying, adding that. "Having been around Spindizzy for a number of years and befriended many members of the Spindizzy centaur community, I know that this is the right service at the right point in time."
The local bear said that he promises to do a quality job and offers grooming packages to suit even the most discerning centaur. "I owe it to my future clients in the centaur community to make them look presentable." he said. "Also I'm very flexible. I can do everything from a simple combing of the back fur to a full scale bathing and combing job-which of course includes a seperate rubdown with linament oil if the centaur wishes."
The local bruin indicated that he was aware that most centaurs are watching their pennies (or whatever the Spindizzy currency for the week is) and promised that his rates will be very competitive and reasonable. "Heck, I trust you!" he is quoted as saying. "I'll even accept a payment plan if you need a grooming and you're hard up for cash. Just talk to me! I'll listen!"
The local bruin finished up by encouraging the members of the local centaur community to give him a try. "I'm awake and in the Rose Garden most afternoons and evenings. Just look me up and I'll see you soon hopefully!"
|Gilead||An excerpt from the O.T. (Otter Testament) Book of Gilead|
One day, Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, when he came upon an otter, flattened out upon the sand as otters tend to do when exhausted or depressed. Jesus walked over to the otter and said, "Hello, little Otter."
The otter looked up without lifting his head and sighed, "Hello Jesus."
Jesus asked, "Your kind is not often so down. What is wrong, little Otter?"
The otter replied, "The fish seem to have left this part of the sea, Jesus. I have not caught one in days, and I am so weak and hungry. I am afraid if I do not get a fish soon, I will surely starve to death." Jesus smiled softly and began to rummage in his satchel. Soon, he found what he was looking for, and placed a loaf of bread in front of the otter, saying, "Ah, I thought I had one left."
The little otter smiled weakly and said, "Thank you, it is very kind of you to give me your last loaf of bread, but I am an otter. I can't eat that. I need a fish."
Jesus smiled warmly and replied, "Have faith, little Otter. As ye ask, so shall ye receive." And with that, the loaf of bread began to transform right before the otter's eyes, turning quickly into a fish.
The otter smiled and began to dance with joy! He shouted, "Oh, praise be to Jesus! For it truly is..."
|Verde Corporation||Request for Proposals|
Please notify Andros Verde to arrange a time to discuss proposals and bids for any of the listed items.
|@Action News staff||Thanks!|
Special thanks go to:
Argon, for the notice about the 400th issue of @Action News, coming soon,
|Patch O'Black||Four-Kolor Kitty: For The Superman Who Has Everything!|
Hello and it is time for another dip into the Four-Kolor Kitty pool! This week, as recommended by Argon, we will be looking at the devices and inventions used by the Man of Steel, Superman. Now, given Superman’s wide array of powers, he typically doesn’t need to rely on extra equipment. In fact, most people I talked to couldn’t remember one device associated with the Last Son of Krypton. Heck, when I asked, a lot of folks said “a typewriter”, referring to Clark Kent being a newspaper reporter, or “a phone booth”, which he used to use for changing into his Superman outfit and back. Yet, Kal-El did, from time to time, needed a little mechanical assistance.
Take, for example, his Superman robots. These made their appearance during the Silver Age, and were used for two purposes. The first was, as they had been gifted with a similar set of powers as their creator, they would be used in circumstances which would be dangerous even for Superman. For example, if a rescue needed to be done near a chunk of green Kryptonite. The second purpose was to protect his secret identity. He has at least one robot disguised as Clark Kent, so that the robot could subsitute for is mild-mannered alter-ego. More recently, the new Superman robots were created during a period when Superman, under the influence of a cosmic villain, felt he needed to police the whole world at all times. These robots where not as life-like as the Silver age versions, but these weren’t designed to be disguised as Superman, just to act under his orders. Each was also outfitted with a variation of the famous red, blue, and yellow uniform. Later, almost all of these robots were destroyed, save for one refered to as “Superrobot Bob”, who acts as the caretaker of the Fortress of Solitutde.
Another piece of technology that Superman called on from time to time is the Phantom Zone Projector. This device was originally created on Krypton and was used to banish extreme criminals to another dimension, where they were unable to interact with the physical world. It was used by Jor-El, Superman’s father, to exile supervillian General Zod. Several other villains were sent there, though there was one hero that was sent there, Mon-El. Mon-El was a Daxamite, which means he had all the same abilities as a Kryptonian when exposed to a yellow sun, but instead of kryptonite, lead is poisionous. He meets Clark Kent when he is Superboy, who is forced to send Mon-El into the Phantom Zone in order to save his life. In more recent times, it was used to capture an army of White Martians, was ingested and regurgitated by the worm-like Mr. Mind, and was also incorporated into a suit to power the abilities of a hero known as Supernova.
Now, sometimes, Superman finds himself in a situation where he is powerless, but needs to perform some daring-do that he can’t use a robot to get done. What does he do then? He uses the Supermobile! Created when the power-duplicating android Amazo attacked as Earth was bathed in radiation from an exploded red sun, this vehicle does three things. First, it protected Superman from the effects of a red sun or kryptonite.. Second, it duplicates his powers, including his various “vision” powers. Lastly, it makes folks point and laugh. Even Amazo could tell that this ride was not going to win any design awards.
Some other, more minor, pieces of equiptment included a ray to temporarly shrink Superman down in size so he could visit the bottled Kryptonian city of Kandor. For a while, he had a large Kryptonian war suit, which he used in battling extremely powerful threats. He has also been known to wear a lead suit when he needs to deal with green Kryptonite. This recently was updated in a story arc where, with assistance from Batman, Superman decided to try and remove all the Kryptonite from Earth. This refined version of the old lead suit was both more stylish as well as armored to provide Superman with extra protection.
And with that, we will close out this edition of the Four-Kolor Kitty. Remember to send in your suggestions for future columns by page #mailing PatchO’Black. Until next time, see you in the funny pages!
|Gilead||Gilead's Puns that are All Wet|
Q: What kind of public transit does a raindrop take?
Q: Why did the otter find his bed soaked when he woke up?
Q: What do you call a puddle in the otter exhibit?
Q: What do you call the puddle under a pachyderm?
Q: What do you call a puddle under Suri?
Q: What do you call a few drops under a mouse?
Q: What do you call liquid in the bottom of a procyonid enclosure?
Q: What do you call a puddle in the corner of a ferret cage?
Q: Why was the bottom of the komodo dragon exhibit moist?
Q: What can cause a puddle below ground?
Q: Why did the night heron politician raise its tail over an unfavorable report?
Q: Will you find a wet spot in France?
Q: Why should you never stand beneath a primate?
Hi gang! Ba'ar here with your Spindizzy @Action News Survey for this week. It looks like John McCain and Barack Obama will be the next two Presidental candidates. If you had your druthers, who or what would be better candidates for office?
|Argon||Doze Garden Cartoon|
Why bear cub kids are afraid of clowns.
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Contributing a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to firstname.lastname@example.org!
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