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Local Wallaby Causes Interminable Rain

Rose Garden.The Rose Garden saw quite a bit of rain this weekend after Morticon appeared Friday evening to unveil his "latest ploy" - an ordinary bottle of water, at first glance. Upon giving the bottle a momentary shake, it became a mysterious cloudy substance that flew up into the sky. Moments later a constant shower began to pour down on the Rose Garden.

Despite the rain, the Rose Garden was quite busy that evening, as locals came by to enjoy the rainy weather, including Morticon, who stayed in the garden briefly to hop and splash in the rain and mud, while still others preferred to stay dry under the protection of one of the many umbrellas put in place around the garden.

It's reported that Morticon was heard saying "I'll have so much fun with it later!" shortly after releasing the cloudy rainmaker. It's uncertain at this time whether he plans to cause rain in the future, or if he was just planning to return to splash in the mud some more later on.

Argon Takes Leave to Find New Horse Shoes

Argon.Hi there. As you may know, I managed to total my vehicle last weekend. Luckily I wasn't hurt at all, and the emergency folks knew better that to shoot a centaur with a broken leg. Not that I had one. Anyway, I'm putting off the paper for a while until I get my transportation issues resolved, along with some other things. Anyway, it'll be a while before I can give @Action News my full attention. Thanks!

[Editor's note - Thanks very much for all the hard work you put in every week, Argon! We'll try and do our best without you. Come back soon! Pleeeease?]

Spontaneous Picnic Erupts, Cripsy Cartoon Coati a Consequence

Animal picnic.Raccoon Day was celebrated on Thursday with an impromptu gathering at the Picnic Grounds, disrupting an anticipated evening of idling with fun and resulting in minor injuries.

What began as a small quiet gathering of a few friends in a picnic area in SpinDizzy's northeast quandrant gradually grew, as people bored with the lack of procyonidery and lapinery present in other sectors of the island were attracted to the grassy clearing like raccoons to a shiny thing. All was going well until a fire was lit in the fire pit. After a generous application of lighter fluid, approximately two bottles worth, a lit match was tossed in by Natasha Nelson, a cartoon coati from Cuzumel Island. The resulting slow-motion fireball threw several spectators away from the fire pit and away from danger; however Natasha herself was reduced to a pile of cartoon ash, only her eyes remaining intact.

After some confusion and a brief loss of her shiny white eyes to a local raccoon, Leowulf, SpinDizzy's resident wolf-lion, managed to reconstitute her by mixing her ashes and eyes in a bucket of water. Natasha seemed to suffer no long-term ill effects of being burnt to a crisp, having her eyes taken away and then all recombined back to coati form in a bucket, an advantage she attributes to a cartoony lifestyle.

Things soon settled down, and the rest of the night was spent making torches out of marshmallows, and occasionally even eating the failed torches. No other major incidents due to the presence of fire have been reported.

30 Days of Parks of the Day!

Park and river.Once upon a day, we had a park of the day, which was quite dutifully changed, as implied, daily. There's been a bit of a chicken-and-egg suggestion that if it really were changed that often, that we'd see more folks use it.

In that spirit, let's consider this 30 June days of parks of the day... and we'll see just how that goes. You can always get to the park by typing 'park', which will not be the same place as the Rose Garden!


Assistant Managing Editor

Local Bear Has Holiday Party

Cora.Local bear (and party maven) Cora had a little Memorial Day/Start of Summer shindig at her house this Monday. It was a modest affair with plenty of soda to drink and plenty of hamburgers and hotdogs with all the fixings for all to eat (though Cora was thoughtful enough to provide tofu hot dogs for her health-conscious guests).

All went well and smoothly, except it didn't seem to be well attended.

"You'd think that since mine was the first party Spindizzy's had for a while there'd be dozens of folks but there were only about 5 or 6." she is quoted as saying. Still she does plan other parties. "Spindizzy needs other good times like this. I've got a 4th of July shindig in the works." she said. "Stay tuned for details. "

Classic Gaming Article

Atari 2600.Okay, here is your lil racconie taking a small break from her rehab to give you the next lil story of "Classic Gaming"

Well, since I just recovered my mind, I gone through my old articles and, well, since I started on my "rehab game", I should continue that track.

Since my back recovered, I was allowed to start playing the next step in my goal on the Wii.

Well, there are a few options as far as this goes. You can play the three hole course that goes from beginner, intermediate, hard and expert. You can also play the nine hole course (which should only be played if you are at the expert level). Wii Golf.

There are also three training modes. One is to help develop your swing to land on the green. The next is to see how close to the green you can make it and the last is target hitting or how close you can get to the bullseye despite conditions.Wii Golf.

The idea of golf is simple. The goal is to get par or better. Par is pretty much what the average golfer can sink the ball into the cup. It is best to stay in the fairway or the green (the two most optimum places to hit the ball). If you land in the rough or the bunker (sand), the hitting is more difficult as well as any trees that are in the area. If you hit the ball out of bounds or into the water, you lose a stroke. If you get par, you get an E or even. If you get a birdie (one shot less than par), Eagle (two less) or Albatross (three less), your score goes down. The lower your score, the better. If you score a bogey (one above par) or higher, your score goes up. The goal of course, is to get the lowest score possible.

I will not bore you with how "badly" I play. I do have a few issues with the sensitivity of the game because it swings when I am in the back motion and doesn't move when I am in the forward motion. It also goes much harder than I intend it to be. This is a slight bug that can be helped through a LOT of practice to get it right.Wii Golf.

As with all the WiiSports games, it takes a lot of practice to get good at it. This is meant to be done every day to help you keep your body and mind fit.Wii Golf.

Well, hopefully I will be out of my left arm cast soon so I can show the last part of the game, WiiBoxing, but if not, I shall continue with another game that I can hopefully do with one hand.

Until then, may you continue your practice and give me suggestions of what games to snag!

Zoie, who's indian name is "one who gets spanked by Tiger often"


Stop the presses!Thank you to everyone who contributed to the newspaper!

Special thanks go to: Jimun, Argon, Royce, Skyler, Cora, Zoie, Gilead, and Ba'ar for their articles, and to the anonymous blue bear for the personals ad!

Personals Column

Shy blue bear seeks playful
and mildly pink foofy bunny. Please
leave message at Care-A-Lot.

If you'd like to place a Personals item in Action News, please send email to newspaper@spindizzy.org.

Gilead's Disastrous Puns

Q: What do you call an irresistable surge of foxes?
A: A Kitsunami.

Q: What has four legs and two arms, and spins around destroying trailer parks?
A: A Centaurnado.

Q: What giant reptile periodically storms into Tokyo and begins erecting and repairing buildings?
A: Devilzilla.

Q: Why did the mother grasshopper wash out her larvae's mandibles with soap?
A: They lo-cussed.

Q: What kind of mountain spews forth a devastating tide of field mice?
A: A Vole-cano.

Q: What do you call it when such a mountain spews out a cloud of talking birds?
A: A parrotclastic flow.

Q: What about when it spews out a cloud of cats?
A: A purroclastic flow.

Q: What do you call a weapon that unleashes enough cats to claw up everything in half a mile in any direction?
A: A thermo-neko-lear bomb.

Q: What do you call it when a group of Triffids trample you?
A: A stempede.

Q: What do you call it when hideously animated cats trample you?
A: A Stimpyde.

Q: What do you call a bunch of otters wiggling so much the ground shakes?
A: A furquake.

Q: What do you call a bunch of dogs jumping around so much the ground shakes?
A: An arfquake.

Q: How did the rabbits describe their experience escaping from a flood?
A: Hare-raising.

Q: What do you call being buried under tons of guinea pigs underground?
A: A cavy-in.

Q: What do you call hundreds of dead rodents?
A1: A mouseacre.
A2: A ratastrophe.

Q: What do you call it when nearly every bamboo eating carnivore is sick?
A: A pandademic flu outbreak.

Q: What do you call a huge skyscraper overrun with otters?
A: A towering in fur now.

Weekly Survey
Ba'ar doing the survey.

Greetings all. Here's your Spindizzy @Action News survey for this week. No local centaurs were asked to be in the recent movie Prince Caspian. Why?

  • Argon says, "I can't say that I know of more than 20 - 30 centaurs. With scenes needing hundreds of us using Computer Generated Images were the obvious choice for uniformity of appearance, movement, and interaction with other CGI characters in this film. As the Narnia series of films are shot off and on, it isn't like any centaur wants to give up their lives for two or three months to be in front of a camera. Plus, lets be honest, how many centaurs are good enough actors to be in a movie? I certainly am not one!"
  • Shoe barks, "I don't know. Maybe they were too far away."
  • Natasha says, "Obviously, they wanted Narnian centaurs instead."
  • Anjil imagines that she's just not Hollywood material.
  • Fala says, "They looked too realistic and would clash with the rest of the CGI."
  • Trance says, "Actually, they were asked. But were so insulted by the bit part roles offered, that they turned 'em down and pretended no offer was given!"
  • WhyteShadow says, "It's because they weren't big enough. Have you seen the size of those centaurs on-screen? They must be at least thirty feet tall."
  • Andros yips, "No one paid off the casting department."
  • Vassily says, "Were any non-local centaurs asked? They should get better agents."
  • Toledo says, "Because they weren't in the book?"
  • Elissa yaps, "Because the White Queen told them bad things about Spindizzy!"
  • Gilead chirps, "Saves money on raking up after them."
Want to contribute to @Action News?

Got something that You'd like to contribute to @Action News, but aren't sure if you should, or how to do it? Here are some basic guidelines.

Contributing a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org!

  • @Action News is published weekly sometime between Sunday and Wednesday each week, although the date of publication may vary.
  • Articles received after midnight Pacific time on Saturday may be held and published in the next edition of @Action News.
  • Most any type of story or article of interest to SpinDizzy's newspaper readers will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy.
  • Things that occur in public areas are fair game.
  • The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does,) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.

These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.


Acting Editor - @Action News