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Tax catches Anti on Tax Day

Bounty Hunter.

Anti, or "The", best known as, The Anti Raccoon, who was a raccoon but is now a human is allegedly in the "custody" of a bounty hunter.

A well armed and armored individual calling himself Tax, claiming to be a bounty hunter boasted in the Rose Garden that he had captured "The Anti Raccoon" and was taking him to some unspecified place for an unspecified amount of reward money. Tax was quite mysterious as to who was paying this reward, where The Anti Raccoon was being taken, and what alleged offensed he had committed other than to say that The Anti Raccoon was a dangerous criminal.

In spite of Tax's claims, The Anti Raccoon has committed no crimes on SpinDizzy in spite of his often nebulous references to vague plans he has made. All of which have lead either to failure or the complexity of which have caused him to give up.

Argon, local centaur, did his best to find out what Tax was being offerd for The Anti Raccoon as he was willing to try and make a better offer for (the now,) fellow human. Tax refused and Argon was unable to make any progress in saving The Anti Raccoon.

As of press time, neither Tax nor The Anti Raccoon have been seen. Rumors that The Anti Raccoon put the bounty on himself to make himself appear more dangerous than he really is have not been confirmed.

New Precautions Urged

Insulin.Chocolate Toothpaste.SpinDizzy residents are now being advised to carry emergency insulin and toothpaste due to a recent increase in the amount of saccharine cuteness in and around the environs of SpinDizzy.

Local Otter scientist, Gilead explained,"The issue isn't the localized density of cuteness; SpinDizzy has always had quite a few localized pockets. There have been otters, ferrets, raccoons, ringtails, coatis, pandas, balloons, dragons, velociraptors, centauresses, mice, foxes, puppies, dingoes, kangaroos and wallabies, penguins, cats of several kinds, squirrels, bunnies, CareBears, and all sorts of other cute critters, on SpinDizzy for many years. It's just that now we have even more, due to several fairly recent residents arriving."

In related matters, websites such as LOLCATS have also filled the browsers of many residents unexpectedly. The hURL feature, combined with a growing population looking, has further increased this risk. The overall frequency of encountering pockets of tooth-rotting kawaii keeps rising. And in today's litigious society, the wizstaff and helpstaff felt it prudent to to encourage preemptive measures before anyone got hurt.

Until the precaution of carrying protective pharmaceuticals in inventory becomes second nature, anyone unexpectedly following a weblink carelessly left in the Rose Garden and winding up on baaaaabyanimals.livejournal.com or Furry DotA, or looking at one of the more adorable residents, can ask helpstaff or nearby wizzes for first aid. Looking for help from the Ancient Oak may also work...but probably won't.

Classic Gaming Article

Sly Raccoon.

Its your lil gamer raccoon again, ready to bring you a new, classic game back from the depths of dust and despairity!

This time I bring up a lil classic vertical scroller. It started out in the arcade, swallowing up all of our quarters as we try to conjure up an event in US history, "The Battle of Midway".

However, instead of concentrating on the full effort, this game concentrates on one person in a P-38 fighter plane fighting against the FULL Japanese Navy and Air Force, the turning point of the war for the US Navy during World War II The year is.....

1943 title!

As I earlier stated, you are flying a P-38, your aircraft carrier, the Hawks Nest, was destroyed by heavy Japanese Bombing before the Battle of Midway. Now its time to kick some BUTT!

Your mission, to destroy Totaku, the Japanese Heavy Armed Armada with the Battleship Yamoto as its flagship.

Power up.A majority of the battle is air-to-air with furious motion and gunfire. It will be hard to keep track of it all and the worst part is... you only have one life to lose. However to counteract this, the game implimented a life-gauge.

At the start of the game, you can choose what stats you wish to build up and throughout the game, getting the samurai lil pictures, you can even build up your plan stats even highter.

Samurai.

Eventually, you will start to face the sea battles against destroyers or aircraft carriersor against airfortresses in an attempt to bring down the Japanese fleet.

Ship.This game is VERY fast paced and will test your reflexes and your eyes. This game was on the opposite end of RPGs. You definately need to watch out for those stray small planes and bullets and you will cry out "WHAT HIT ME?!?".

Plane.You also have the opprtunity to shoot down pinkish planes and get powerup weapons from a shotgun blast, machine gun, laser cannon, and some small health restorations. These can be amplified if you choose your stats well.

If you do not choose your stats well, this came can become hell pretty quickly and if you choose well and get the powerups regularly, this game will quickly become easier so choose wisely with your style of play.

You can choose your power ups from Offensive Power, Defensive Power, Energy Level (health), Special Weapons (how many different weapons you can gather from shooting powerups), and Special Weapons timer (increase the time for special weapons). The more you increase it, the stronger your abilities become.

The thing about this game is that you have to destroy more than 70% of the ships/planes or otherwise you have to redo the annoying level again!

The only thing I see bad about this game is that there are is not a two player mode. It would help IMMENSELY. However, for those with the "One Plane v. One Armada.. bet on the plane" ideal should go for it.

As for tricks.. there are two that I know of for the NES version....

First is hold the fire button and you can shoot out a short burst lazer. It is far more powerful but the charge time can be a "killer".

Here is a lil password I digged up... have fun kids ;) TY19U

Zoie.. the P-51 Mustang rider ^.^

Thanks!

Stop the presses!Thank you to everyone who contributed to the newspaper!

Special thanks go to:

Argon, for the article on Tax, the bounty hunter,
Gilead, for the precautions against sweetness,
Zoie, for her "Classic Gaming" article,
Patch O'Black, for his "Four Kolor Kitty" article,
Gilead, for his puns,
Ba'ar for his his survey and
Argon for this week's cartoon.

Four-Kolor Kitty: And with the deductible...

Supercat - Patch O'Black (Art by Chanspot).Hello, and welcome to another Four-Kolor Kitty. When super-heroes fight mega-powered individuals, property damage is inevitable. So, what do you do when, say, The Hulk goes rampaging down Broadway? Who will get things back in order? Why, the hard working folks at Damage Control! This week, we will be looking at the history of the company that picks up after super-brawls.

237.jpgThe first appearance of Damage Control appeared back in a 1988 edition of Marvel Age Annual. Since then, they have been given a total of four mini-series. While they are played for humor, it is also a clever way of answering the question "How do things get fixed once the guys in tights break them?"

335.jpgWhile Damage Control was originally founded by one Ann-Marie Hoag, it was co-owned by Tony (Iron Man) Stark and Wilson (The Kingpin) Fisk. Of course, Tony didn't like the idea of sharing a business with a criminal mastermind. Ann-Marie is an elderly woman who is well-known amongst the various organizations of the Marvel Universe. In fact, she uses her connections with Nick Fury (of S.H.I.E.L.D.) to get backing when she decides to buy Damage Control.

431.jpgDamage Control has handled a lot of jobs over the years. The first major job we see is where they have to clean up after a fight between the Avengers (with Spider-Man) and a giant robot. Spider-Man gets caught inside the robot before it can be shutdown. The company has to not only remove the robot and rebuild the damaged buildings, but also get the web-head out of the robot.526.jpg This is solved by getting their resident technical genius to whip up a remote control, which causes the giant robot to turn into a car, with Spidey in the trunk.

They also have helped the X-Men repair their home, helped with the reconstruction of the super-prison The Vault, and even recovered the Avengers Mansion when it was sunk into the ocean. More recently, after the events of Civil War and World War Hulk, New York was nearly completely wreaked. Damage Control had their biggest job ever! However, they had to deal not only with the staggering scope of the job, but also the fact that now they had to deal with new laws regarding non-registered super-heroes! If you haven't had a chance to read any of the Damage Control comics, I would recommend picking up the back issues.

That will bring us to the end of another Four-Kolor Kitty. Remember, if you have any ideas for future columns, please page #mail PatchO'Black. Until next time, see you in the funny pages!

Gilead's Procy-puns
Gilead.

Q: Why did the procyinid female wear a bra?
A: To support her 'coon rack.

Q: How can you tell when a raccoon is tired?
A: By the light patches under her eyes?

Q: What did the townfolk ask after they were saved by The Lone Ranger Rick?
A: Who was that maskless 'coon?

Q: How can you tell when a raccoon is spoken for?
A: You can't tell her finger from her tail.

Q: What eats bamboo and follows Mao?
A: A Red panda.

Q: What eats bamboo and follows Obama?
A: A socialist panda.

Q: What has two long noses and six ringed tails?
A: A cooddity.

Q: What procyonid has the most static charge?
A: The clingtail.

Q: What do elderly procyonidae play in the community center most evenings?
A: OLINGO.

Q: Why did the frugivorous procyonid wear a jarmulke and hand out Megan's Law fliers?
A: So his neighbors would remember he's a kinkajou.

Q: What would you call Britney spears if she turned into a raccoon?
A: A Ho'cyonid.

A South American raccoon walks into a restaurant and asks, "Pardon me, but do you serve crabs here?"
The hostess says, "Sure, we serve lots of Procyon cancrivoris here. Please have a seat."

Weekly Survey
Ba'ar doing the survey.Here's this week's Spindizzy @Action News survey. Sweetly and simply, what's the thing that bothers you the most?
  • Zoie scowls,"Furries wanting to eat me!
  • Shoe barks, "Big red ants."
  • Ba'ar growls, "Diets and those who want to force said diets on me."
  • Astra squeaks, "It makes me feel bothered that I can't come up with a good survey answer!"
  • Tzolkin says, "I can't stand people who 'step on' other people, metaphorically speaking."
  • Jimun says, "Since I'm currently a bat, I'd have to go with... loud noises."
  • BunnyHugger says, "Dishonesty, Ba'ar."
  • Kefan says, "You don't have time for my catalogue, Ba'ar, and it wouldn't make good reading anyway."
  • Borris Gruffs, "I detest Vegans"
  • Argon says, "Airline peanut bags."
  • Casandro answers, "Stupidity."
  • WhyteShadow says, "Right now...? Silence."
  • PatchO'Black mews, "Actually, Ben Grimm (The Thing) doesn't bother me that much, Ba'ar."
Doze Garden Cartoon

Why eating well with the occasional snack is good advice for raccoons and the rest of us as well!

The Doze Garden Cartoon.
Want to contribute to @Action News?

Got something that You'd like to contribute to @Action News, but aren't sure if you should, or how to do it? Here are some basic guidelines.

Contributing a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org!

  • @Action News is published weekly sometime on Sunday.
  • Articles received after midnight Pacific time on Saturday may be held and published in the next edition of @Action News.
  • Most any type of story or article of interest to SpinDizzy's newspaper readers will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy.
  • Things that occur in public areas are fair game.
  • The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does,) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.

These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks!

Argon
Editor - @Action News