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Gilead's Further ConFusion Con Report

SpinDizzy Christmas tree.LOL!!!1!1!!

City Hall Planning- Please contribute

City Hall.

| I want to begin building a City Hall.  Please bring in |
| discussions and thoughts about what services should be |
| available, and what people would like to do- whether a |
| role administrating or one supportive, such as running |
| a coffee shop or library, I would like to hear.  Thank |
| you.                                                   |
SED Contracted to Provide Goods and Services for Verde Corporation!

Morticon at a computer.The Verde Corporation has hired the SED to provide goods and services on SpinDizzy via a contract worth 200 million. The exact goods and services are not clearly defined, but "with the SED's wide range of skills and assets, we can meet any need of theirs, especially related to security," Morticon stated.

Andros Verde, CEO of Verde Corporation, concurs, stating "With the combined capability of Verde's employees working in tandem with the SED, this research facility will be renowned as one of the best in the quadrant. We look forward to working with the SED on many future projects."

Morticon hinted the SED may need to hire more employees to satisfy the contract, and that interested parties should contact Morticon directly about working for the SED.

Dirac Killed In Line Of Duty

Funeral wreath.Dirac, employed by the SED, was killed recently in the line of duty while on an SED mission.

The skunk died while preventing an evil D'ni mink spirit from attacking the other SED members.

"We owe Dirac our lives. He will be missed in the SED," Morticon, the leader of the SED, stated.

Morticon Agrees to Pose in Diaper

Morticon in a diaper.Local Wallaby Morticon has agreed to pose in a diaper in support of local Velociraptor Sally's photography project, in return for an unfertilized egg.

The agreement occurred in the Rose Garden several weeks ago, when Sally was explaining her ongoing project of photographing a variety of mammals in diapers. She expressed a desire to include Morticon because of his aesthetically pleasing (to dinosaurs) pear-like shape, large feet and heavy tail.

Morticon originally wanted a live, fertilized egg, but Sally was unwilling to part with one, especially to a mammal. Sally offered in its place a sterile egg, noting the many craft projects for which her large, attractive eggshells are suited. After consultation with Portia, Morticon agreed to pose in return for her next egg.

Further discussion of the exchange was interrupted when local Bear Borris expressed a desire to shave off all of Morticon's fur, prompting his exit from the Rose Garden. At press time, Sally described her next egg as being due 'soon'.

Polar Bear Hates Cold

Borris on beach.Spindizzy residents no doubt know know about polarbears being able to withstand extremes of cold, but they may be surprised that some polarbears have their limits. Borris, local polarbear, recently confessed that he prefers it warmer than most. ""Da, but there is cold, and there is COLD! And after awhile the cold just goes through you."" he is quoted as saying, adding that when it drops below 32 degrees for more than two months, "Is then you just want to stay in cave, Even hunting seals is no fun."

Borris admitted that he came to Spindizzy to escape the extreme temperatures of his homeland, nothing that things are tolerable temperature wise here and that the weather in Spindizzy had never let him down. The national weather service was not available for comment on this.

Holidays from Home

'Seijin no Hi'. Japanese Coming-of-Age Day.(As SpinDizzy residents are from many places, it seems logical to talk about holidays from other cultures. Rin, local wintermouse, is a Japanese mouse, and has agreed to tell us about some of the holidays celebrated there. As many of us are fans of Anime and video gaming (Which seems to have been developed in Japan,) it would seem some knowlege about the culture would be of interest. - Editor.)

Hisashiburi desu, ne; minna-san! It's been a while since my last article, when I covered Seijin no Hi, so I hope everyone's ready for the next holiday from Japan! This time, we've got something seasonal: Risshun, the beginning of the spring season! ...I'm sure most of you don't quite think of spring when you see the beginning of February, but in Japan, as well as China, there's a huge cycle observed regarding the rotation of seasons and the phases of each, and spring happens to fall closer to the beginning of the year than is observed further west.

Anyway, this holiday's celebrated on February 3rd, instead of always being on a Monday like the last one. Also, as a point of curiosity, it's mostly referred to as 'Setsubun', instead of 'Risshun'. The word 'Risshun' actually means 'the beginning of spring', whereas 'Setsubun' is simply 'the beginning of a season'. As spring is the only Setsubun that's generally celebrated, Risshun is the only Setsubun normally mentioned. Of course, there's a reason for this particular day to be outstandingly regarded; in Japan's history, Risshun was also the equivalent of Japan's New Year's Eve, as the next day is the start of the new spring season!

Though it's not a national holiday, Risshun/Setsubun is celebrated by everyone anyway. One of the most prominent practices of this holiday is for the 'toshi-otoko', or male born with the same Chinese Zodiac sign as the current year, to sling soybeans out the door... or at a member of the family wearing a monster mask! This is accompanied by a cry of, 'Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!' If there's no proper toshi-otoko, the task is relegated to the head of the household. Either way, it's probably pretty freaky-looking for foreigners to see, to be sure! The phrase translates to 'Demons out! Fortune in!' The oni is, of course, one of the more popular of Japanese monsters, sometimes referred to as 'demons' or 'ogres'. Either way, they're generally not considered pleasant company, so it's no wonder we want 'em gone. Plus, we get to invite some good luck in for the new year! You can't have enough good luck, after all. Of course, after showering the oni with beans, you get to eat some yourself; one for each year of your life. So, for those of you immortal or supernaturally long-lived species out there... now's your time to feast. There's also a tradition of eating maki-zushi... that's the kind of sushi that looks like little tires. There's a particular sort called 'ehou-maki', which is eaten while facing the lucky direction of the year, dictated by the year's Chinese Zodiac sign.

These days, Risshun is becoming a bit more televised, with priests and important people within the community slinging foil-covered beans, along with assorted prizes, out over a huge audience from a Shinto shrine on live television. Think of it as something like televised parades further west, with people tossing candy out for the kids. These days, it's also perfectly acceptable to use peanuts in place of soybeans.

...So, that's pretty much it for Risshun, the spring Setsubun! I'm not sure how well this particular holiday could merge with Spindizzy, but I hope you all at least found this a little informative! The next holiday is Japan's National Foundation Day, or 'Kenkoku-Kinen no Hi'. But for now...

Jikai made, sayounara!


Stop the presses!Thank you to everyone who contributed to the newspaper!

Special thanks go to:

Gilead for his Further Confusion report,
Beltrami for her City Hall planning request,
Ba'ar for his 'Polar Bear Hates Cold' article, and his survey,
Rin for 'Holidays from Home',
Patch O'Black for 'Four Color Kitty', and
Suri for this week's cartoon.

Four-Kolor Kitty: I Now Pronounce You...

Supercat - Patch O'Black (Art by Chanspot). Dearly beloved, we are gather here today for another edition of the ol' Four-Kolor Kitty! As Valentine's Day has just passed, I thought we might look at superheroes and heroines who have taken the plunge and tied the knot. While several of the mask and cape set have a special someone, relatively few make it to the alter, usually due to the tired excuse of "If my enemies found out, they would hurt/kill/give a wedgies to them!". Fortunately, there are some of them manage to mix saving the world with domestic life.

121.jpgLet's start with the big one, and they don't get much bigger than Superman and Lois Lane. For decades, Lois was known for giving Clark the cold shoulder and pining after Superman, while Superman had to play hard to get and, as Clark, couldn't show his true potential to win the girl-reporter's heart. However, not counting umpteen imaginary, hoax, and other fake weddings, there have actually been TWO times when Superman has married Lois Lane. The first time came about in Action Comics #484, published back in 1978. This issue was a little bit misleading, though. Oh, yes, it was the Man of Steel and Lois getting married, it wasn't who you thought they were. You see, this was back when DC Comics was originally split into a "Multiverse", and the couple getting married were the ones inhabiting what was known as Earth-2, meaning they were the Golden Age Superman (known as Kal-L) and Lois Lane (Known as "She who wore little pillbox hats"). In that story, a villain known as the Wizard cast a spell to make Superman vanish. Superman did, indeed, "vanish", but only in the sense that Clark Kent no longer had any memories of being the original Last Son of Krypton. Since he no longer had any reason to remain "mild-mannered", Clark Kent became more aggressive in his investigative reporting, helping to bring down many criminals without using his superpowers. He also finally wins the hand of Lois, and marries her. However, on their honeymoon, Lois sees Clark survive an attempt on his life that should have killed any ordinary human. She tracks down the Wizard, gets him to reverse his spell, and thus finds herself the wife of Superman!

231.jpgOf course, most folks would say that doesn't really count, as Crisis on Infinite Earths caused Earth-2 to be erased. Well, modern fans of Superman got to finally see him and Lois Lane definitely get hitched as well. Again, Lois finally allows Clark to court her, and when he asks the question, she says yes. There is a few moments of doubt afterward, as Clark reveals his big secret (and S-shield) to his wife-to-be. Of course, these are dealt with, and eventually, these two are joined in wedded bliss, as everyone knew they would be. Ma and Pa Kent give the happy couple family heirlooms to use for their wedding bands. Clark has the diamond in Lois' ring micro-etched with a copy of the big S, a nice sign to show he was devoted to her forever. However, the bride chose to keep her last name, thus they are Mr. Clark Kent and Mrs. Lois Lane.

329.jpgAnother long-going marriage has been the one between Reed Richards and Sue Storm, better known as Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four. As most comic book fans know, Sue Storm was Reed's girlfriend when he talked her, her brother, and his best friend to take that rocket Reed had be building on an unscheduled flight in an attempt to keep his funding from being pulled. Over the years, Sue helped to keep Reed's feet on the ground while his head was trying to unwrap the secrets of the universe. One thing he didn't need any help with, though, was knowing that his heart belonged to Sue, and in Fantastic Four Annual #3, the two got married with several well-known superheroes in attendance. Since then, they have had two children, and remain one of the most stable of marriages in the super-hero world.

One of the other well-known super-hero marriages was when Peter Parker hit the jackpot and married the girl-next-door, who was supermodel Mary-Jane Watson. She is now Mary-Jane Watson-Parker, one of the longest names for a comic book character with no costumed identity.425.jpg Of course, until recently, since no-one knew who Spider-Man was, no-one knew Mary-Jane was married to the ol' wall-crawler. This changed during the Civil War event, where Spidey revealed his identity to the world in support of the Super-Hero registration laws, then did a 180 turn and started working against them. Currently, though, Mary-Jane and Peter no longer remember being married. You see, Aunt May got shot as part of a revenge plot by the Kingpin. In order to save her life, the couple made a deal with the devilish Mephisto, who erased their wedded life from existence and their memories. However, most likely this little hitch will be reversed, hopefully sooner than later.

520.jpgLastly, for this time, we will look in on the most recent newlyweds. For years, hard-edged liberal archer Green Arrow has been trying to win the heart of fellow crime fighter Black Canary. They playfully would banter, with eagle-eyed bowman's come-ons and joking boasts being deflated by the cutting wit of the blonde bombshell with the sonic scream. After years of being partners on the streets, they finally decided it was time to commit, which was no small task for the rather playboy Green Arrow. Of course, even then, there were unexpected twists. A new Injustice League attacked during the wedding, and on the honeymoon, the bride found out the groom had been replaced by a shape-shifter. Finally, when it was discovered that the real Green Arrow had been taken away and held by the Amazons (don't ask, I'll explain in another column!), the two were finally reunited. Well, I would have to say, this wedding can only get better at this point!

And that's going to wrap it up for this week's Four-Kolor Kitty! Remember, if you want to marry a topic to the column, or have comic-book question that needs to be wedded to an answer, page #mail it to PatchO'Black. Until next time, see you in the funny pages!

Gilead's Puns of the Rat

Q: What do you call the best rodent of 2008?
A: Rat of the Year.

Q: What do you call a small portion of French-style tomato stew?
A: Mouseatouille.

Q: What's the world's most skillful rodent.
A: The Capablebara.

Q: What do you get when you cross a giant rodent with a fish?
A: A Carpybara.

Q: What's 2008's most appropriate phobia?
A: Fear of the Rat.

Q: Why are so many mice gay?
A: They're naturally terrified of pussies.

Q: What do you call the tragic forbidden romance between a feline and a rodent?
A: Ro-Meow and Julie Rat.

Q: Why are rat pups always well behaved in the shower.
A: Ever try to whip someone's posterior with a human tail? It's pointless.

Weekly Survey
Ba'ar doing the survey.Hi guys! Ba'ar here with your @Action News Survey for this week. Are you going to Further Confusion next week and if so is this going to be your first furry convention?
  • Borris Gruffs, "Borris is not, maybe next year."
  • Roofus_roo says, "For the first, Yes. To the second, no."
  • Austin says, "Ba'ar, I'm going to stick to my answer of 'Sally', thank you."
  • DTF smiles "Nope... wuffy's po'."
  • Raphael squeaks, "Nope, and nope."
  • Ba'ar says, "This will be my furry convention lucky number 13 for me."
  • Diam04 says, "My player isn't going. He has never been at a furry convention."
  • Gilead chirps, "Yes, no."
  • Leowulf says, "I shan't be going this year."
  • GrumpyBear grumbles, "Yes and no, I've been to about 20 conventions."
  • Dolly says, "Sorry I'm not going, Ba'ar. But I've been to Anthrocon!"
  • Aurora says, "I'm not intending to go to any convention, probably for quite a while..."
  • Darius tonelessly says, "Yes I'm going. It will be my fifth convention."
  • Argon says, "No. I'm not planning to attend this year."
  • Ouroboros says, "Afraid not."
  • Andros yips, "I'm not. Probably not going to be attending any conventions until after school."
Doze Garden Cartoon

Grenade Lemur!

The Doze Garden Cartoon.
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Editor - @Action News