@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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DNS troubles strike again

As seems to happen every couple of years, one of SpinDizzy's links to the rest of the on-line world experienced problems this week. As Argon, local centaur and SpinDizzy webmaster explained while being chased by villagers wielding torces and pitchforks, the DNS ( Domain Name Server) settings on Network Solutions had dissapeared!

The resourceful centaur pointed the villagers towards Dr. Frankenfurter's castle and then reset the DNS settings and posted notices on the SpinDizzy, and SpinDizzynews web sites, and on the SpinDizzy Live Journal. The word filtered out and folks began using the spindizzy.vulpes.net port 7072 connection.

Argon, who has never been really impressed by either Network Solutions, or the sites' host, Earthlink, has been discussing with Wizstaff the options of combining these services with a new provider. Talks and research are still underway and hopefully will be resolved soon.

Idling becomes a contest

Unknown to those who thought just being there and not actually contributing anything to the goings on around them, Kri, local peacock familiar, began a race. The winner would be the one who idled out first. The "participants" in the contest, unbeknwnst to themselves, were Winterbeast, local invisible elephant, Chanspot, local fossa, Argon, local centaur, and Ketrien, local dragon.

Kri who was "calling" the race, kept up a commentary, "But will Chanspot pull an upset, or will Wintebeast keep his lead? Will Argon come back from behind to pull a surprise victory? What about Ketrien, who's been the under-do... under-dragon in this race? I'll consider the first character to idle-time out to have reached the finish

Argon was out of the "race" first when he mentioned something about centaurs, a subject he rarely discusses (Ha ha). Argon put $5.00 on Winterbeast to win with Chanspot to show.

Kri said, "Oh, sure. Start placing your bets after Winterbeast already has an 8-minute lead. We've passed the 35 minute mark, and Winterbeast is refusing to let up! But Chanspot is right behind at 27 minutes... while Ketrien brings up the rear. Slow and steady does not win the race, Ketrien! You'd better hurry up and shut up if you want to win this!"

Kri then made the comment that he ought to save a recording of the idle race for a slow news race, but at that time, Chanspot "blinksus", and Kri noted he was out of the running, "And all it took was a blink. Tsk tsk." Chanspot grins. Kri said, "Winterbeast is now WAY ahead of the pack."

Argon held onto his bet as Borris, local polar bear asked, "What's the Time out limit here?" Kri said, "45 minutes?" which Argon confirmed "

Kri noted, "Okay. If Winterbeast keeps this up for just a few more minutes, he wins!"

Argon announced he will spend his winnings on fossa feed. Kri conntinued his commentary, "This is it, folks! The next few minutes will make-or-break this race! "Will Winterbeats do it? Or will he slip up, because he does not actually know he is even in a race... because when you idle, you tend to miss things like this? Just a few more minutes... One more minute!" At 45 minutes, he wins!"

With the announcement, "Winterbeast has disconnected," Kri jumped to his claws, "We have a winner! Winterbeast, you won! What are you going to do now?" he observes the invisible elephant, "Wow, this race sure took a lot out of him. He's gone and fallen asleep."

Argon noted that idling is tough work to which Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat remarked, ""You know, for an invisible elephant, a lot of people seem to be able see him."

Kri nodded, "Perhaps we're all drunk. Everybody knows that when you drink beer, two things happen. You get the hiccups and invisible elephants become pink." Dingo bounces off a rogue sputnik and into the Rose Garden.

Borris local polar bear addes, And you pee alot!" to which Kri noted, "Well, that bit doesn't happen so much in the cartoons."

As of press time, Winterbeast has not been reported to have recieved his trophy or his winnings.

Morticon stirs up trouble

Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers, showed up in the Rose Garden this week with a wacky idea. He began gathering materials together and started building a huge device. Kri, local peacock familiar, decided to assist and offered parts made from cheese!

As the device began to take shape, it resembled a huge blender with a fan like object at its base. Morticon found a large motor and was wiring things up as Kri added additional items. Soon, a very large blender shaped object stood towering above the trees of the garden. Morticon had made the sides of the "blender" out of chicken wire and without further ado, flipped the switch to start it up.

What began as a breeze quickly increased to wind, a gale and then formed into a tornado! Smaller folks found themselves being pulled into the funnel cloud which was causing trees and rose bushes to sway and lose leaves. Morticon seemed quite pleased with himself until he too was pulled into the cloud!

Kri also seemed quite pleased at the results, but Morticon was unhappy as this was not what he had expected. Kri noted that using cheese as a construction material was working very well. "Cheese!?!" exclaimed Morticon as he swirled round and round as the tornado gained strength pulling in larger folks. Morticon was yelling in suprise and dismay as Portia, local red panda arrived.

Quickly summing up the situation, the poonya, as he calls her species, jumped into the storm and using her magic, brough the storm to an end. Everyone who had been pulled into the storm plopped to the ground, a bit dizzy but mostly unhurt. Portia was a bit sore and later discovered she had sprained her wrist.

The Rose Garden was a mess as leaves, limbs, trash and even snacks from the ancient oak were spread all over the place. The suggestion that Morticon and Kri, who had caused the mess, especially the chunks of cheese underfoot and stuck to the bulletin board and other objects, be required to clean it up, were met by the two with disapproval.

Soon, Mortion escorted Portia home, and the dizzy remainder got the Rose Garden back to normal. As of press time, no littering charges have been filed.

Russian nesting lemurs

A conversation between Austin, local coati, Felix, local 'toon squirrel and Suri local lemur led to a conversation about corks.

Austgin asked, "If someone heavy steps on your toes, does the rest of your body lift up, Felix?" who's tail flicked back and forth. He replied, "Oh um, I dunno Mister Austin. Sometimes Missus Beltrami squeezes my ankles."

Austin said, "That's just a friendly little snug, though, isn't it?" Felix answered, "Yeah Mister Austin. Missus Beltrami squeezes my ankles but it doesn't hurt an' it's fun like a hug."

Suri noted, "She's got ankle corks." to which Austin asked, "Corks?" Suri nodded. Austin said, "I never noticed, somehow." I thought she just went for vinyl."

Suri peers at her own ankles lamenting that lemurs don't have corks. Austin said, "Well, you could if you wanted. You just haven't happened to get them yet. You're a grownup lemur, aren't you? Paid off all your initial brainship development costs? For having your brain pulled out of your skull and * wired up as the control centre for a starship?" Suri replied. "Lemurs don't have brains. We have control rooms, with Micro-Lemurs. They're too small to see."

Aleph peered inside Suri's ear as Austin said, "Micro-lemurs ... yes, that's got its appeal." Suri continued, "I'm from the largest current variety of Lemur. Long ago, in the Cretumbrous Age, when Lemurs ruled the earth, Lemurs of my size served as Control Lemurs for the Dire Lemurs." Aleph asked, "Do the Micro-lemurs have brains?" to which Suri replied, "Nope. They have even smaller Micro-Lemurs." Aleph then asked, "And *those* Micro-Lemurs have even smaller Micro-Lemurs?" Suri said, "It's Lemurs, all the way down." (Like Russian Nesting or Stacking Dolls.- Ed.)

Austin aasked, "Do you have any macro-lemurs to control?" Suri said, "Nope. When Lemurs rule the Universe once again, then there'll be larger Lemurs for us to control." Felix chittered, "(How) come you can't see the other lemurs maam?" so Suri peered at Felix and asked, "Can *you* see the Micro-Skwirls in your head?" Felix shook his head and chittered. "But I don't got those. I got a brain cause that's how come I can think. Oh an fairy antennas too."

Suri patpatted Felix and said. "You only think that because your Micro-Skwirls tell you. to." Which left Felix, and his tail looking really confused.

From, The Ship Who Sang by Anne Mccaffrey.

Near record Sweep attempt

As distasteful as some folks find it, a "Sweep" has to be done once in a while in any public place. Marrisa, local 235873262356 was suprised when an off the hand sweep of the Rose Garden sent eight sleeping characters to their homes. Ooo's ahh's and sighs were heard as Marrisa matched the highest recalled number of folks sent home by a single sweep.

Many would have rather those folks had been awake and entering into the goings on in the Rose Garden, but this reporter heard it said that if they had to be swept, it might as well be for another benchmark for SpinDizzy.

Return of paper boats due

Soul FOx, local fox, wandred into the Rose Garden this week and seemed to be searching for something. He looked in the waterways, checked the fountain, and peered at the horizon.

When asked what he was searching for, the fox said that he was looking for four paper boats that his uncle, Ray, local cheeta, Leslie, locla kid bunny fae, and Slug, local skunk kit had launched a year ago, as reported in the March 13, 2005 edition of @Action News.

Expected to sail around and explore the waterways of SpinDizzy, Soul Fox said they were expected back any time now.

As of press time, the floatilla still had not returned, but all eyes are on the waterways and the return of the paper boats is highly anticipated.

Robot evolution leads to Love Lions Day

A conversation about the "robots" In Disney's Pirates of the Carribean ride led to an evolution of robots as follows:

Gilead said he wouldn't mind a whole gaggle of pirate robots, with a boat ride amongst them.
( Ninja pirate zombie robots, the ultimate psuedo-life form!)
Ketrien rumbles, "Ninja catgirl zombie robot space pirates."
Nesta purrs, "With a laser sword, no doubt. Laser gunsword... that decomposes?"
Gilead chirps, "Maybe a laser gunsword that transforms into a robotic pink lion, with a ditzy princess in the cockpit."
Argon says, "No no, it changes into a lion plush. Who'd suspect a ninja catgirl zombie robot space pirate carrying a plush?"
Gilead chirps, "Who'd suspect the Big, Bad Wolf?" Nesta purrs, "Why a lion though?
! Gilead chirps, "Because the car voltron and the other voltron weren't as widely known."
Argon says, "Seems natural for a cat girl."
Nesta blushes. What is this? Love Lions day, or a very nice coincidence?"
Gilead chirps, "Where can you go to love lions? Only the Rose Garden."

The conversation then turned to which flavor of Kool Aid tastes best straight out of the envelope.

Under a magnet on the refrigerator

Shaun of the Dead poster.

Than, has recently started school, along with her best friend, Christie. They go to SpinDizzy Elementary, where they take many classes, Christie doing better than Thanny in English, and Thanny slightly ahead of Christie in Math.

Than's favorite class, however, is art. She loves to draw pictures, as some of her other teachers have found out after having to tell her to stop drawing during class.

Mrs. Owl, Than's art teacher, always puts the students' drawings up on the wall, and Thanny gets so excited when her drawings and paintings are put up on the board, her subjects ranging from trees and houses, to butterflies and rainbows, to her classmates and her teacher, but most of them have something to do with her best friend Christie. Her latest one got to be placed on the board in the front of class, and at the end of the week she decided to send it to the paper.

Gilead's jokeless, so, jokes for the week

Cows belong in the moo-litary.
Bunnies that fly are in the hare force, if they're in the infantry and they sound a retret, its a receeding hare line.
Pigs often work as EMT's and medics, driving the hambulance.

Festival King and Queen update

This is a reminder that you have one more week to put in your nominations for Festival King and Queen. Those with 2 or more nominations will move onto the ballot available for voting on March 18.

Thank you all for your participation so far. In order to put in your nominations, simply type vote from any location and choose 19 for Queen and 20 for King to cast your nomination. Nominations close the morning of the 17th promptly so that your votes can be counted and the ballot can be assembled.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me and I'll be happy to help.

Yours truely,
Portia Lee

In Step With: Viana


This week we chat with Viana, local reindeer.

Viana has arrived.

Viana smiles and looks around, "Nice spot you've got here. I'm especially fond of the painting."

Ba'ar smiles "It's cozy."

Viana nods "I like cozy spaces."

Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for helping me out with this interview Viana."

Viana nods, "Oh, no problem. I'm always willing to share the truth about being a reindeer. There's more to us than being Santa's sleigh pullers you know."

Ba'ar growls, "So what brings you to balmy Spindizzy, being a snow loving deer and all?"

Viana thinks for a moment, "Well, it's kinda a long story. Basically, while Svalbard is the perfect temperature, cold, snowy, all the things I love, it isn't very large. All the reindeer more or less know each other, and newcomers are few and far between. Seems most don't like the cold, which I think is rather silly..."

Ba'ar growls, "So you came here in search of adventure and space?" Viana nods "Pretty much. And to find a place where carrots actually grow. Svalbard has a lot of lichen, and the occasional berry bush, but no carrots, and I like my carrots!"

Ba'ar growls, "So I understand you're a distant relative of Santa's reindeer. Is this true?"

Viana laughs, "Oh, distantly yes. Comet's my closest relative, being my mother's aunt's husband's nephew, I've met him a few times at our annual herd gatherings in fact."

Ba'ar growls, "So you do meet the '9 tiny reindeer of fame' from time to time?"

Viana thinks for a moment, "Well, I've met Dasher, Dancer, Cupid, and sadly Rudolph..."

Viana adds, "And of course Comet."

Ba'ar cocks his head, "Rudolph? Sadly?"

Viana shakes her head "Oh, well, he's really quite a snob and all. Ever since people started singing that song about him, he's gone from being annoying to well, arrogant. He really wasn't so badly treated either. He just was a bit of a crybaby, and hated when he couldn't have his way. Santa finds him useful though, so I guess that's all that matters really."

Ba'ar growls, "Everyone thinks he's special because of that red nose of his?"

Viana nods.

Viana bleats, "Well you know, a nose is just a nose in my books...some even say he got plastic surgery. But that's only a rumor I think.""

Ba'ar growls, "How are the rest of the reindeer?"

Ba'ar grins, "Any more dirt you'd like to dish out on them?"

Viana smiles, "Well, Comet and Cupid are especially nice, and Dasher's really sweet once she opens up. She's a bit shy at first. I've never met Donner or Blitzen, so I can't say for them. Dancer's very talented, she usually dances in my herd's dance competition, winning every time."

Viana laughs, "I can't dish out dirt on the others I've met. They're just too nice. Pulling Santa's sleigh really hasn't gone to their heads, although I've heard through the grapevine that Prancer has a bit of a temper..."

Ba'ar nods, "So now that you're here. What's a typical day like for you-or is there one?"

Viana snorts "Well, my days really vary. Some days are quiet, and I'll just go out and about or other days I end up starting snowball fights in the Rose Garden, and carrying little Than along in my antlers. It really depends."

Ba'ar considers, "To the best of my knowledge, you're the only reindeer in Spindizzy. Do you ever get lonely for others of your kind?"

Viana thinks for a moment, "Well, I do miss the herd. It's really strange to be out on your own without your community. We're a really close knit group, so yes, sometimes it's lonely, especially with all these tropical loving furs. But the friends I've made have really helped eased my homesickness, and if I could find a good patch of lichen, SpinDizzy would be pretty much heaven."

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most-here or otherwise?"

Viana smiles, "Well, here I'd say it's a tie between PatchO'Black and Vixie. I admire Patchy for his generous nature, and Vixie for her confidence and cuteness. But outside of SpinDizzy, probably Comet. He's the best jumper we have in my herd, and because of that he gets to pull Santa's sleigh, which brings my herd great honour."

Ba'ar growls, "Do you have any plans for the future?"

Viana bleats, "Well, one of these days I plan on finding a way to lower the temperature here by about 10 degrees, but for right now, I'm just making friends and trying to make this place my home."

Ba'ar nods, "On a related question..how do you handle the warm temperatures ?"

Viana laughs, "Well, and this is a bit of a secret because I'm sure everyone will find it funny, but I bathe in icewater before I leave the house in the morning, and I sleep on a block of ice at night. That usually helps, but on really hot days, I wear my special coat that is made like one of those gel ice packs you can put in the freezer. That's how I survive the summers."

Ba'ar grins, "I'll bet you do alot of swimming."

Viana nods! "Oh yes, swimming is the best way to keep cool, especially in nice mountain lakes, although the beach usually does the trick as well."

Ba'ar grins, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Viana shrugs "I don't really have many secrets, I'm pretty open and honest I guess."

Ba'ar growls, "One more question before we go...Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Viana grins, "The secret to enjoying winter is to be prepared. Bundle up (unless you're like me and have tons of fur), and go outside. You'll find it lots of fun. Oh, and also, Santa DOES know who's naughty and nice...and he's always watching! So be good!"

Ba'ar grins, "Good advice that. With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again Viana, thanks."

Viana smiles, "Oh no problem, it was fun."

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
I hear the word furs or furries used to talk about the people on SpinDizzy, but not all have fur. How come this is??
- S. Caley

Dear S. Caley:
Because they have scales, even though they're furries!

Dear Bearing Up:
Who should I get to do my taxes? H and R Block or H and R Brick?
- F. Latetax

Dear F. Latetax:
I recommend Leona Helmsley. Her philosophy is "only the little people pay taxes".

Dear Bearing Up:
What does Vixie think about Elmo?
- Puppet

Dear Puppet:
To Vixie, Elmo's a cutie wannabe!

Dear Bearing Up:
Suri seems to think I murdered somone. How can I convince her I didn't?
- S. Argon

Dear S. Argon:
Find the one you supposedly 'killed' and have him or her tell Suri off.

Dear Bearing Up:
My alarm clock goes off too early. What should I do?
- D.Oze

Dear D.Oze:
Set it so it goes off late.

Dear Bearing Up:
Will my chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
- W. Rigley

Dear W. Rigley:
Nope, it'll be just as fresh in the morning as when you put it out,

Weekly Survey

Ba'ar doing the survey.

Greetings all, Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action News Survey for this week. What's your (In Character) guilty pleasure? ?

  • Ba'ar says, "A good meal followed by a good bellyrub."
  • Vixie says, "The answer for me has to be chocolate."
  • Rawr says, "Air!"
  • Argon says, "Mavra."
  • Borris looks around..... "Eating Seals"!
  • PatchO'Black mews, "I don't think I have a guilty pleasure. Are cats suppose to feel guilty about anything?"
  • Persephone says, "Making myself into a kit. ;)"
  • Gina_Doberman says, "Cheez-It's. the ones with the white cheese!"
  • Lou's guilty pleasure is grossing folks out with otherwise normal behavior.
  • Angel_bear says "Sudoku puzzles. Big time waster, I get lost in them, but I love 'em."
  • DTF says, "At the risk of being swatted by Nesta, I shall not answer. Let's just say she likes some things."
  • Sanogan says, "A hot steaming cup of Earl Grey with lemon and cinnamon."
  • Than smiles as she answers the survey "I like lotsa candy an' lotsa chocolate, an'... I like my ears petted lots."
  • Gilead says, "Making thinly veiled innuendo, just to see who gets it."

This week in History

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

The Doze Garden

Why there is no Taur-zan

Doze Garden Cartoon

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, or Ba'ar about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News

Thanks! Ba'ar, Associate Editor @Action News