@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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Face of Amalfi seen in toast

The Ebay on line auction site has been flooded with "hits' as news of an amazing item up for bids has spread.

It seems that someone in Nevada has a piece of toast that when removed from the toaster had the spitting image of Amalfi, local plush db object #1 on it. Bids on the toast have climbed through the roof as rich investers and plush fans try to out bid one another for the artifact.

The seller, toast4U, has not responded to requests for information about the piece of toast and has not posted a picture of it on his auction page claiming that premature exposure of the image will reduce it's value to the buyer.

As the bids for the toast are increasing too quickly for @Action News to keep up, we cannot state an accurate "current price" for the toast.

Beltrami on a "diet"?

Reports that Beltrami, local balloon, was on a diet turned out to be unfounded this week.

First word to come to @Action News was that Beltrami had lost quite a bit of air pressure and had lost almost 35 psi. It was unclear whether this loss of air pressure was intentional or due to a leak. Balloons do spring leaks from time to time and although a large leak will send the balloon flying around until its air is expelled, the end result is a piece of latex that has little shape. The balloon needs to be patched and reinflated so it can get back on it's feet, or paws, or whatever it uses.

As of press time, no word has been recieved as to Beltromi's condition.

Tie Me Wallaby Down, Sport?

There were some raised eyebrows in the Rose Garden this week when Portia, local red panda, strolled in with Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers. Although seeing the two of them together isn't all that unusual, what caused particular interest in this case was Portia leading the wallaby around by a leash.

Although initial assumptions suggested this might be a physical aspect of the alledged romance between the two, it seemed unusual that a romance neither Portia nor Morticon will confirm or deny would be displayed publically in such a fashion. Witnesses reported that Portia seemed to have complete control over Morticon as he obeyed her directions and followed without question.

When asked what putting Morticon on a leash was all about, Portia explained that as a magic user, she was considering getting a "familiar", an animal of some sort such as Kri, Azreal's peacock familiar. She further explained that as "animals" aren't allowed to "run wild" in some areas, she wanted to practice working with one on a leash. This reporter is unaware of anyplace on SpinDizzy where "animals" must be kept on a leash as 99% of the population are "animals" of one form or another.

When the "romance" aspect of leashes and collars was noted, and the assumptions some folks had made concerning the public display, Portia seemed suprised that anyone would even think of such a thing. She noted that in her home, magic users use such restraints on their familiars quite often with no regard by the mage or observers to any "romantic" feelings indicated by the arrangement. What Portia thought to be an innocent "test drive" of a possible situation was made by some into more than it was meant to be. Portia's niavete of the differing social restraints here, led her and Morticon to end up leaving a far different impression than was meant. In fact, it seems they meant to leave no impression at all.

At press time, the episode had simmered down to a few jokes and comments. Hopefully this article will clear the air as everyone learns something from the experience.

Argon suspect in Austin's murder!

The culmination of the ongoing investigation into the murder of Ensign Fleegman, well known ensign, led to another investigation this week.

As lead investigatior, Austin Dern gathered the suspects together, he said, ""I suppose you're all wondering why I've asked you here today," he stood on his hindpaws and paced. "I felt it was time to reveal that my investigations have finally revealed who it was who murdered Ensign Fleegman."

The crowd gasped and held their breaths as the coati said, "And the killer was -- " he grabbed his chest, "a-aau--auugh", and fell over. Suri, local lemur, acked! "Ack!" she cried, thinking that Austin meant Argon, local centaur, whom Suri calls Arrrgh, "Arrrgh is a murderer!" the usually happy lemur crindled woefully.

Aleph, local human said,"I never trusted him for a second. I don't even know who he is."

Austin, not quite dead, looked up and said, "Mudderer, actually. He's very good on a wet track." then passed out again.

The crowd of experts then got to work "reviving" Austin. Aleph got out a set of defibrillator paddles, Theon'drae, local dragon, stated, "We can rebuild him. We have the technolegy...", Tzolkin, local mouscat set up a mad science lab in the garden. Suri interrupted her howling at the sight of the defibrillator and went, "Ooooo.... I wonder if we made him breathe neon, then zapped him, would he exhale a glowing cloud?"

Tzolkin evilgrinned. "Whatever eet is, eet will liiive! LIIVE, I say!!!" *lightning!! --which actually turned out to be a cheap strobe light set up in the tree, as it promptly fell out and conked Tzolkin on his head!

Austin peeked at Tzolkin saying. "Rescuers like this it's safer to stay dead from."

Vixie then noted that she's a little less cute than normal today to which Austin responded, "Don't blame me, I've got an alibi what with my brutal murder and all."

Suri then peered at Vixie, then at the defillibrator. At Vixie... At the defillibrator.... "We could fix that, I bet!" she said

Austin noted, "Mom always said the end of my life would be the death of me."

As of press time, no charges have been filed against Argon as the witnesses claim the murderer was named Arrggh!

Movie Review – ‘Shaun of the Dead’

Shaun of the Dead poster.

Ok, to give a little background on my point of view, I’ve been playing a computer game for several years as a Necromancer, someone who deals with the dead so that has left me with a certain ‘slant’ on things necrotic, mainly I find most ‘zombie’ films humorous to begin with. With that said, I give my review of ‘Shaun of the Dead’.

The film starts out simply enough as these things go and you witness the typical progression of things going wrong to bad to worse as expected. What gives it its own flavour is that it’s taken from the perspective of a typical 20/30-something Englander (perhaps London, I’m not sure) and his environs. This is best showcased when zombies start to make their presence known, case in point the ‘zombie shuffle’, and how our hero and his friends deal with them in their own respective idiom. Finding suitable weapons is one, finding a suitable hold out position is another, and their planning is a third.

While ‘Shaun’ has a few gory scenes, it’s not overdone, but simply being ‘honest’ and they are not long lasting in duration for those of squeamish nature, so they won’t be missing much when decorum calls for hiding one’s eyes in a pillow. For those that enjoy zombie films and don’t mind a nice romp on the silly side, this film comes highly recommended.

Wallaby VIII, by Morticon's Hermit Crabs.

o/~ I'm Wallaby the Eighth, I am. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am I am. o/~
o/~ I got married to the flyer next door. o/~
o/~ She's been married seven times before, o/~
o/~ And every one was a Wallaby. o/~
o/~ She's never had a Euro or a Red. o/~ o/~ I'm her eighth ol' man who was a Wallaby. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am. o/~

Second verse, Close to the first!

o/~ I'm Wallaby the Eighth, I am. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am I am. o/~
o/~ I got married to the Red Panda next door. o/~
o/~ She's been married seven times before, o/~
o/~ And every one was a Wallaby. o/~
o/~ She's never had a Euro or a Red. o/~
o/~ I'm her eighth ol' man who was a Wallaby. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am. o/~

One more verse,
To make it worse!

o/~ I'm Wallaby the Eighth, I am. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am I am. o/~
o/~ I got married to the flyer next door. o/~
o/~ She's been married seven times before, o/~
o/~ And every one was a Wallaby. o/~
o/~ She's never had a Euro or a Red. o/~
o/~ I'm her eighth ol' man who was a Wallaby. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am, I am. o/~
o/~ Wallaby the Eighth I am! o/~


Nominations for King and Queen of the The First Spindizzy Queen's Day Festival

This is an all day festival including several contests including poetry, pie eating and archery. The role of the King and Queen of the festival is to open it, close it and act as judges (along with one other) in the various contests. Nominations are open from March 1 - 17 and voting for the King and Queen will be from March 18 - March 24. Please Nominate whoever you wish. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me. Thank you for you help. Portia Lee.

In order to vote, type vote anywhere on the MUCK and select 19 and 20. The Festival will take place on March 31st!

Gilead's Mousy Little Puns

Q: What's the worst possible thing you can call a C57/Black/6 strain lab mouse?
A: The 'N' word--Nibbler.

Q: How do female rodents defend themselves from street crime?
A: Spray their assailants in the face with Pepper Mice.

Q: What do you call a bunch of musical British rodent femmes?
A: The Mice Girls.

Q: What dish must you never order in a mouse restaurant?
A: The wild brown rice.

Q: What dessert do they serve after tragic kitchen accidents?
A: The chocolate mouse.

Q: What main dish?
A: Mice pilaf.

Q: Why do rodents love the tooth fairy so much?
A: On account of their buck teeth.

Q: Who ruled the Mediterranean rodent nation Little-y in WWII?
A: Benito Mouseolini.

Q: What did the other mice say about the big mouse who beat them all up?
A: He was a real pussy.

Q: Why did Morticon have to get the exterminator to pay a visit to his pouch?
A: Kangaroo rats.

Q: Why do mice so adore Swiss cheese?
A: Because it's holey.

Q: What do you call someone who has just gotten two pet rats?
A: Nikon. ;-) Congrats little raccutie.

Q: Why did the hamster amass an enormous hoard?
A: She had un unquenchable desire to suck seed.

In Step With: Aleph


Aleph has arrived.

Ba'ar smiles, "Hello Aleph, and thank you for helping me out with my interview."

Aleph says, "No problem at all, good to be here."

Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Aleph says, "It's been about two months now."

Ba'ar growls, "Welcome aboard. So what made you choose Spindizzy as a home?"

Aleph says, "It wasn't so much a choice, per se. I woke up one day and found myself here."

Ba'ar growls, "Do you have any idea of where you come from or what led you here?"

Aleph says, "Well, I'm from Earth, strictly speaking. As for how I got here, that I do not know. I'm fairly certain that I was brought here for my own protection. The details really aren't too important."

Ba'ar nods, "Now I understand you're a human. Have you found it easy to adjust to living around anthro animals?"

Aleph nods. "Yes, I'm a human. I don't really try to hide it, in fact as you can see I'm pretty up-front about it. Adjusting hasn't really been any more difficult than it would be anywhere else, to be honest. Everyone I've met has been extremely kind and helpful. The island has its quirks as any place will, but for the most part I'd say getting used to things has been quite painless."

Ba'ar nods, "What do you think are the advantages of being a human in an anthro world? "

Aleph says, "Well being human in a world like this can be a double-edged sword. Typically folks are either fascinated by you, or they loathe and fear you. I've been lucky in that pretty much everyone I've met falls into the former category."

Ba'ar nods, "We're a pretty accepting community. Now then, what are the disadvantages of being human in an anthro world?"

Aleph says, "I guess the main disadvantage would be feeling like an outsider. Humans have a strong tendency to flock to their own kind; it's sort of a survival mechanism we've developed over thousands of years. But I guess I'm fortunate that I was always something of a loner, even around other humans."

Ba'ar nods, "I was just about to ask..do you miss your old world?"

Aleph says, "Well, I feel fairly certain that I'll see it again. I'm pretty sure that whoever or whatever brought me here, I haven't heard the last of them."

Ba'ar nods, "Who do you admire the most?"

Aleph says, "Out of the folks around here?"

Ba'ar growls, "Or anywhere."

Aleph says, "Well, out of the folks around here, I'd have to say it's a tie between Austin, Terra and Suri. Austin is just incredibly reassuring to be around; I feel like everything's really under control when he's near. Terra is like that one really cool kid everyone knew in high school, the one everyone just seemed to like. She just has this aura about her, it's a pretty amazing thing. And then you have Suri, who's a lemur, and come on, I mean who doesn't like lemurs?"

Ba'ar nods, "Do you have any plans for your future?"

Aleph says, "Well, you know, I'm looking for a place to live, you know, trying to find a good spot and come up with ideas for a home of some sort. And I plan to keep hunting down any bugs or irregularities I happen to find in Spindizzy's code, so they can be fixed. That's always fun. And beyond that, well, why tempt fate?"

Ba'ar chuckles, "I don't. Now then, what secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Aleph says, "Well, I'm pretty musically inclined, I play a few instruments, I play guitar... I also play keyboard, and drums. In college I was in a Guns N' Roses cover band, that was pretty cool. We once opened for an Aerosmith cover band. Things were good for a while, until our bass player traded his guitar for this really sweet skull that someone told him had magic powers. Turned out it didn't. Um, yeah... he wasn't the brightest guy, but man, you should have heard him do the bass solo he came up with for 'Welcome to the Jungle'."

Ba'ar nods, "In closing do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Aleph says, "If there are any aspiring musicians out there, remember: the guys in the audience yelling 'Freebird', they don't actually want you to play it; they're just heckling you."

Ba'ar chuckles,"Because no one did it better than Lynyrd Skynyrd. ;-D With that in mind that concludes our interview. Again Aleph thanks!"

Aleph says, "You're very welcome."

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
What do you think of Timothy Treadwell, the 'Grizzly Man'?
- Ursine

Dear Ursine:

Dear Bearing Up:
I'm a mage with no familiar. What kind of animal should I pick?
- Portia

Dear Porti
A PARTY ANIMAL, of course!

Dear Bearing Up:
My baby boy wants a rabbit for Easter. What kind of rabbit should I get him?
- Peter

Dear Peter:
A STUFFED RABBIT, of course. Just as nice to cuddle as the real thing only with no upkeep andno food bills.

Dear Bearing Up:
Is Boki Pelican smart?
- Bird

Dear Bird:
Sure. He's a BIRD but not a BIRD BRAIN!!

Dear Bearing Up:
What color are violets?
- Flower

Dear Flower:

Dear Bearing Up:
What's Victoria's Secret?
- Unmentionable

Dear Unmentionable:
If I told you, I'd have to kill you!

Dear Bearing Up:
Grumpy Bear's grumpy and gruff. Doesn't he care about anything?

Dear AGC:
He cares about being grumpy.

Weekly Survey

Ba'ar Hi gang, Ba'ar here. This is the Spindizzy @Action News for this week. What do you think Spindizzy will be 10 years from now?

  • Argon says, "Vixie will still be cute and Mavra will still be lovely!"
  • Gina_Doberman says, "Full virtual reality!"
  • Than hmmmmms and looks at the survey... "10 years from now, Vixie gonna be grownup an' not cute an' I still gonna be little an' really cute!!!"
  • Viana snorts, "I say Spindizzy will be colder, so more reindeer will move here""
  • Kirin says, "Spindizzy will be controlled by Vixie? :)"
  • Darius says, "I think it will be as it is now, only with about 5-10 people on it."
  • Mouser hisses, "Probably re-invented as a graphical MMORPG."
  • Kri says, "I think SpinDizzy will be some kind of dystopian future, but it will have a really cool sound-track."
  • Lhayn says, "I think it'll be the same. Just with higher prices."
  • Morticon says, "I think the wizards will do this as a full time job, which explains Lhayn's prediction. ;)"

This week in History

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

The Doze Garden

Doze Garden Cartoon

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, or Ba'ar about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News

Thanks! Ba'ar, Associate Editor @Action News