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Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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ATP Group loses latest challenge

The ATP, or "Anti 'Taur Party, challanged the local centaur community to a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors(RPS). This is a game usually played by using hand signs signifying a rock, with a closed fist, a piece of paper, by extending all the fingers and presnted the hand flat, or a pair of scissors by extending the first two fingers of the hand. Usually, the winner is determined as follows. Paper covers rock so paper wins, but scissors cuts paper so paper would win, and as rock crushes scissors, scissors would win. Believe it or not, there are groups that take RPS very seriously. But they use the hand gestures. Morticon, local wallaby and head of the ATP made those RPS fans look weak as he described his version of the game.

The groups along with a number of curious onlookers met at Role Play Central for the big event. The ATP decided they would rather use "real" objects reflecting the three choices. For example a rolling boulder in place of rock, an orighami dragon in place of paper, or a lawn mower in place of scissors. The centaurs went along and the game began.

As a participant, (And OOC having to participate from a place he was unable to keep a log,) it was impossible for this reporter to keep a complete record of the events. However the game was played one on one for a total of 15 rounds. There was a lot of strategic moves and plans, and a number of tied games where both sides chose the same object. By the end of the 15th round, both sides were tied. Argon, local centaur and so-called "senior centaur" of the centaur community, challenged Morticon to a winner takes all final game to determine the winner. Morticon took the challange and they played a final game.

The game was won by Argon, which made the centaurs the winner. However there was question as to the number of ties so auditors went back and observed tapes of the contest. After several minutes, the result was confirmed and the centaurs were named the winners.

Argon offered his hand to shake Morticon's paw and compliment a good game. Morticon shook and soon hopped off. This brings the "total" of the ATP's "challanges" to one tie, and one win by the centaur community. As of press time, no further comments or challenges had been made by the ATP.

@Action News welcomes the return of reporter Leslie

As long time readers of @Action News know, we have a staff of regulars who report stories and contribute articles weekly. As has been noted by many, Leslie, local, li'l faux-bunny fairy, has been absent from the pages of the paper for a while. The bunny's contributions, consisting of little "slices of life" from around SpinDizzy and especially reports from the "day shift" of SpinDizzy life have begun again.

@Action News is happy to welcome Leslie back, as are its readers!

Sanogan hurt, not really a tiger anymore

Sanogan the tiger got very badly hurt a little while ago and he's not really healthy anymore or even a tiger. He was away because he was using magic to travel through different planes, that's kind of like dimensions, and then on one of them, "I was.. attacked by something that.. thought I would make a nice meal." He thought it was a lot like a worm, and it gulped him down and he couldn't find any way out and it wouldn't talk to him any either.

So he said he had to blow it up, killing the worm but he didn't know what else to do, and that hurt him a lot too. It was really a mistake though, he said he didn't know the stomach acid the worm had was flammable. When he first got out to the Rose Garden he didn't even have skin or muscles over parts of his skeleton, and he had to use all his magic to hold himself together!

PatchO'Black the Jellicle Cat said Sanogan ought to come to Jellicle Fields because a meal there would put meat on his bones! But Sanogan wasn't so hopeful, because "I cannot eat, having no stomach right now." He was using all his magic to keep himself together that way.

But that wasn't all that comfortable either so Sanogan made a new body for himself, kind of like a puppet or robot for him to be in while his real body heals. It looks kind of like a tiger, only it's made out of iron and wood and rocks and chrome plating, and while he doesn't feel a lot directly and he can't eat or drink or anything it's a lot easier to move around and he's not so scary-looking. Plus it doesn't hurt when he moves now.

It's pretty good making a whole new body for yourself when you're badly hurt, but he doesn't think he did stuff that was all that amazing. "this one was crafted from the materials at hand, perhaps it is best I am a golem worker and not say.. a painter... Though, for some reason now that I am without a stomach.. I crave, tea." Mavra that centaur said it was a really neat body but he "Better stay away from raccoons, they *like* shiny objects." And he forgot about that but hopes he'll be okay.

Annon the salesrat didn't know what exactly he could sell Sanogan to help him out, except maybe some glue in case anything falls off, but probably he could think Sanogan in his new shiny look could be a neat toy for Christmas too.

Kit-sitting for Ming Yue and Mei Xing

A couple of weeks ago, I visited the Rose Garden. Upon my arrival, I was approached by Felina and Gem. I was asked if I could kit-sit for their kits, Ming Yue (a feline cub that sleeps a lot) and Mei Xing (a combination of cybernetic and cellular life resembling a bird). I was a bit surprised that I was asked, but I agreed and asked if Darius could help me. He was excited about it and wanted to help, so Felina and Gem agreed.

We had a really fun time kit-sitting and I realized that Darius was quite the playful type of ferret. He was a natural sitting with Mei (who was the most active). Ming was really just a sleepy cub, and she was just wonderful just snoring and sleeping the whole time. Mostly I carried her around, and she did a lot of purrrsnorepurrrsnorepurrrsnorepurrrsnore…..

The interesting thing about Mei is that she is very good at imitating the sounds that other furs make. She learns very quickly, and then proceeds to imitate the sound. For example, when Mei Xing sees DTF, a wolf, she proceeds to howl. When she sees me, a clouded leopard, she meows like a cat. When she saw Nesta, a lioness, she meowed. Gem was a bit concerned before he left. He said, “I'm worried poor Xing won't remember which noise she's supposed to make at all by the time we get back. :>" DTF winked, "We'll make sure to confuse her as much as possible.... default peeping will result.”

It was a fun time for all. All of our furs here were cooing and making a fuss over the kits. And, Ming was having the time of her life making all those cute noises and some that she just couldn’t get.

Tanuki was having fun with Mei Xing, changing into different forms and confusing Mei a bit. First, he shrank a little bit and plopped to all fours, taking the appearance of an ordinary raccoon-dog (tanuki). He walked up to Mei Xing experimentally. Mei Xing stared at Tanuki, of course! She had NO idea what noise to make at him. Then, Tanuki shrank to about a foot in height and plopped to all fours. He had the appearance of a beagle puppy with circles around his eyes and a ringed tail. Tanuki wagged. Mei Xing knew exactly what noise to make at Tanuki now! Cue the howling once again! Tanuki barked excitedly! Tanuki shrank to about a two-foot height and plopped to all fours... taking the appearance of a housecat with black circles around his eyes and a ringed tail. Mei Xing meowed this time! Familiar species! Tanuki shrank to a one-foot tall height, taking the shape of a rabbit with black circles around his eyes. Mei Xing opens her beak, and...blinked at Tanuki. No idea what sound to make, once again. Tanuki blinked and reverted to his familiar, rotund shape.

Darius had a lot of fun with Mei Xing. He kneeled down next to the two kits and waved. Mei Xing waggled a little bit, just because she could. Ming just snored. Mei leaned a little against Darius, just because he was there. Infant logic is infallible! Darius purred. He picked up Mei Xing. I commented, “Hey, you do that very naturally, Darius. You've had some practice!" Mei Xing waved to Tanuki as he walked. She peep-giggled as she was lifted up! She was a little bit heavy, considering she's made halfway from cybernetic parts, but she's not all THAT heavy. Darius hmmmed at me and he smiled at my comment, and then held Mei Xing carefully. I purred, "I wonder what kind of sound Mei will make, hearing you, Darius.” Darius warbled! Mei Xing stared at Darius, ocular cameras focusing. Then she attempted a warble! First attempt she was good with mimicking, but it was obvious she had no practice with that noise yet! Darius merfed, and chrrrrbled. I giggled, "Awww, she's trying to mimic you, Darius!" Mei Xing peeped happily, and chirrbled right back! Apparently, she's done that enough times! Darius merffed. Mei Xing attempted a merf. It came out a little strange-sounding, but she did kind of get it right. Darius giggled.

Lots more interaction with Darius, as Mei was swung around. DTF smiled and fitted something that looked like the foot-clamps to gravity-boots. DTF said, "Well, she IS a peafowl... so.... wings would come in handy." "Merfles!" Darius put them on and floated up into the air. Mei Xing squeeeees! She wiggled, obviously quite happy Darius floated upwards. He floated upside down, and Mei Xing stared! She was not sure what the repercussions would be, being turned upside-down, but she did cling to Darius like a little sloth! Darius giggled, as he floated around in a circle. "Purrchirble!” said Darius. Mei Xing echoed, "Chirble!" Mei Xing, meanwhile, found a patch of Darius-fur that she believed could really use a good preening. Not that she knew much of anything about preening, but she did make a valiant effort with nibbling! Mei Xing squeebled a little, and leaned into some into the petting. Happy little bird!

We proceeded to give Mei a snack of crackers and apples that were in the bag that Felina left for the kits. First we offered the cracker, and, pecking at it at first, she was hesitant, but then, she gobbled it up. Mei Xing is absolutely no stranger to apples, either! Though she found herself quite stereotypically drawn to the cracker, she did like her fructose! And so toward the apple went her beak, the little bird much more enthusiastically snapping off a bit of the apple-piece!

Whisperfox arrived. Mei Xing tilted her head at Whisperfox. She was unsure of what sound to make. It was one of those “not-quite-a-dog things”! And as greeting to such, she gave a howl! But, not before finishing that bit of apple, anyway.

Finally, Gem and Felina came back to the garden and Darius and I relinquished our duties as official kit-sitters. We said they behaved wonderfully, and we were happy to kit-sit. Gem and Felina were grateful to have some “alone time”.

Kri made really loud and glowing

Kri the peacock got given a magic ring around his throat by Morticon the wallaby, and it made Kri's voice really really loud! And on top of that Morticon painted Kri with a kind of paint what makes him glow when he's nervous. And Kri was pretty nervous because he's the pet familiar animal for Arzela the magic human, and he was scared she'd be upset at him for being made loud.

But Arzela used a kind of magic called scrying to see if it was okay if Kri got these gifts from Morticon, and she thought it was fine so it wouldn't be fair for her to be angry. But he was scared she'd turn him into a goose! And when Arzela got in the Rose Garden he asked someone to help hide him, so I did.

I made a pocket grow big enough he could hide in there, and then Arzela went around asking Vassily the sloth and PatchO'Black the Jellicle cat and everybody else where he was, and when she asked me I told her how scared he was, he was glowing very bright! (Arzela's throat must've been sore, she did most of this writing down and only spoke out loud to me a little bit.)

Also Vassily was blowing soap bubbles and I put one in the pocket with Kri to keep him company, and Arzela promised that she didn't want to turn Kri into a goose. Kri was always a peacock by the way and doesn't know what it's like being a goose so he doesn't know if that would be bad.

Arzela said, "He can glow as much as he wants. But the loud noises hurt." And then Kri said, "Waah! Don't turn me into a goose!" And Gilead otter said "If Kri was a goose, playing duck duck goose would be boring, because we'd always know who was the goose."

But Kri said it was okay to take the ring off his throat so he wouldn't be too loud anymore. That wasn't so easy because Kri and the ring were shrunk way down to tiny size from being in my pocket! But when I put him back in and made the pocket grow big again Kri was big again, and the soap bubble in there with him was as big as a beach ball too, and then it was pretty easy to shrink Kri down a little and slide the ring off and make Kri big again.

Arzela for a bit didn't want Kri to keep the ring, but I guessed that maybe it was kind of like a volume dial on an old-style radio and by turning it right maybe Kri could be as loud or as quiet as Arzela wanted, and she was okay trying that. And Kri still glows when he's scared, but he's not a goose.

Santa Paws Visits Spindizzy


This Saturday evening, a very special visitor came to Spindizzy. Santa Paws, the jolly holiday elf, took time out of his busy holiday schedule to visit with the good little cubs and kits of Spindizzy and ask them what they wanted for Christmas.

The requests were wide and varied, ranging from Vixie's request of a day of pampering at a local spa to Leowulf's request for a telescope.

Some of the youngsters were rather shy at first, but were won over by Santa's cheerfulness and friendliness. A good time was had by all.

Sunshine's a national animal

Sunshine the hero porcupine has been busy with school a lot lately, but she's okay. And even more Pa'hti the green bunny made Sunshine the official national animal for his own little country! Pa'hti runs the of Fall Down on Nationstates and he made Sunshine the animal there. Pa'hti talks about it on http://www.nationstates.net/fall_down if you want to know what Sunshine's country is like.

Portia looks different

Argon, local centaur, noticed that Portia, local poonya, seemed different. He noticed this after Portia arrived in the Rose Garden feeling somewhat uncomfortable. She said she had gotten taller and was getting used to it.

Argon later asked how this had happened. Were magic or mechanical means used? Portia replied, "Well, I went to Sanogan's shop where he magically altered my height and adjusted my weight, bones and muscle to the same proportions that they were at my 4'3 height to my 4'8 height. I am not more slender nor fatter. I have not added any different body parts, nor changed gender or sex."

The centaur than asked why she had done it. She answered, "I did it because I wanted to, it is as simple as that. Even now, I'm still shorter than those I was shorter than before and taller than those I was taller than. I am sure that at 4'8, I'm still in between. I think it is better because I get to see things at a slightly different angle and I can atleast now look a number of folks in the eye."

Argon wondered about Portia's wardrobe. She said, "I was able to let out all my shorts and skirts being a seamstress."

Argon then asked how being taller had changed her life. She said, "My life has not changed too much. I'm a little heavier and a little stronger in my legs."

Finally, Argon asked what her boss in the SED and ATP (Anti Taur Party,), Morticon, thought about her being taller. Portia replied, "The answer is simple. He says, and I quote, "Now she can reach her books on the top shelf."

Daystar's a raindeer!

Daystar the kitten son of PatchO'Black the Jellicle cat and Nikon the miniature raccoon, learned this week how to turn into a raindeer! He's going to be one of Santa's helpers, too, his first year he was able to help out.

PatchO'Black knows how to be a raindeer too, and he likes helping out when he can. They get candy canes and jingle bells and everything while they're raindeers.

Also Ping the mouse got a new outfit she's showing off for Christmas, with a turtleneck sweater and a jingle bell hung on her tail that rings a lot. She likes it and she says she ought to dress up more. Also she thoguht it would be really neat to get a chocolate costume or maybe chocolate with raspberry sauce for somebody to wear, and Argon the centaur said they should get one for Vixie the fox!

Gilead's Puns from Column A and Puns from Column B

Q: What do you call a voyeuristic waterfowl?
A: A Peeking duck.

Q: What do you call a Watering fowl?
A: A Peeing Duck.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl raised by chickens?
A: A Pecking Duck.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl learning to drive?
A: A Parallel-Parking Duck.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl collecting fruit?
A: A Picking Duck.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl in a labor dispute?
A: A Picketing Duck.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl in a gravitational well?
A: Duck a Lagrange.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl on a tight deadline?
A: A Pressed-for-time Duck.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl who's picked out of a circle?
A: Goose.

Q: What do you call a waterfowl goosing someone?
A: A Poking Duck.

Q: What did the Chinese cat have for lunch?
A: Pork fried mice.

Q: Did you hear about the new hand sanitizer for arctic animals?
A1: It's called Polarel.
A2: And it has a lemming-fresh scent.

Q: Why did the white fox tear out his hair?
A: He lost his cool.

Q: What did the lava do when it got hurt?
A: It ran home to its magma.

Q: Why did the very large otter's tail turn pink when she ate a piranha?
A: Because then she was a full Brazilian giant otter.

Q: What kind of dinosaur makes the best assassin?
A: A Covertops.

Q: What kind of rodent hoards dots and ghosts?
A: A Pac*Rat.

Q: What kind of rodent preserves Christmas?
A: A Reindeermouse.

Q: Why did the mouse become like a British secret agent on Christmas.
A: Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse who wanted a dry vodka martini.

Q: How do you transport giant rodents?
A: In capy barrels.

Q: What do fans of Tumnus do?
A: Faun all over him.

Q: What did the Pevensies say when they met their new friends?
A: Say...nice beavers!

Q: Why was the White Witch so alone?
A: She was a total ice queen.

Q: Why didn't Aslan stay dead on the Stone Table?
A: When he agreed to die, he was lion.

In Step With: Tzolkin


This week, we chat with Tzolkin, local mouse.

Tzolkin has arrived.

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Hello."

Ba'ar growls, "Hello Tzolkin and thank you for helping out with the interview."

Tzolkin nods. "No problem."

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Heh, I just hope I don't freeze up."

Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Oh, um... Since April, of this year I think. I'm relatively new."

Ba'ar growls, "What brought you to Spindizzy?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "I don't remember exactly, though my suspicions are that the experimental spacecraft I was testing out at the time malfunctioned, and crash-landed here."

Ba'ar growls, "So you're from another planet?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Yeah, I believe so."

Ba'ar growls, "That's interesting. What do you like best about Spindizzy? The least?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "I really like the people here. Most of them are really nice. Reminds me of where I used to live, in a lot of ways. As for what I like least.... I'm not really sure if I know of anything I don't like about Spindizzy."

Ba'ar growls, "What was it like where you used to live?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "As best as I can remember, it was a small colony of researchers hidden in a huge meadow. There, we all worked together to make our lives better, a lot like a family."

Ba'ar growls, "What was your role in this community? What did you do?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "I had several roles. Mainly I was an anthropologist, but I was also a pilot for the colony's military."

Ba'ar growls, "And you were on routine patrols when you crashlanded here?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "No, I had a different task that evening. I was testing out an experimental craft capable of flying in space as well as in the atmosphere. Something went wrong with the guidance system, I believe, then the engines ran out of power. Of course this is all best guess, I don't really remember too much."

Ba'ar nods, "I see. Now that you're here, what's a typical day like for you-or is there such a thing?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "I don't think any day could be considered typical, but I go to the Rose garden a lot to relax."

Ba'ar nods, "So who do you admire the most?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Eliahn, I think. He's quite an interesting and kind creature. ."

Ba'ar nods "So who do you admire the least?"

Tzolkin hmms.. "Grumpybear. I'd say he's interesting, just not in a way that I'd be inclined to admire."

Ba'ar growls, "So do you have any plans for the future?"

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Not really. . I just hope to live one day at a time. That's how I've always done it, and it hasn't failed me so far.."

Ba'ar growls, "How about returning home?"

Tzolkin folds his ears back a little. "I suppose I could try to set that as a goal. Problem is, I don't know how to get home. I've heard talk that this place is travelling at light speed. By the time I actually figure out how to get back, I may be too far away."

Ba'ar growls, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?" Tzolkin hmms.. "Okay.. a secret fact about me. Well, as many know, I'm blind now. But the secret is I can see just a little without my eyes, and without that droid Morticon wired for me. I'm not sure how, but it's true."

Ba'ar smiles, "One more quesiton before we go...any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Tzolkin nods. "Always trust your heart."

Ba'ar smiles "Good advice. That concludes our interview. Once again, thanks."

Tzolkin softly squeaks, "Once again, no problem. It was fun."

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
What's a good thing to give a Centaur for Christmas?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
Tickets to see Narnia.

Dear Bearing Up:
Santa can't be everywhere at once. How does he know who's naughty or nice?
- Elf

Dear Elf:
He uses mothers to tell him.

Dear Bearing Up:
How successful do you think that the new King Kong will be?
- R. Harryhausen

Dear R. Harryhausen:
I think it'll be about as successful as the 1976 version.

Dear Bearing Up:
What's a good way to stop this Narnia juggernaut?
- H. Potter

Dear H. Potter:
Wave your wand and say the words "Aslanus Banishus!".

Dear Bearing Up:
I accidentally dropped my clock and now I don't know what time it is. What time is it?
- F. Time

Dear F. Time:
Time to get a new clock.

Dear Bearing Up:
My husband and I are centaurs. I love my man greatly but sometimes he shoots his mouth off when he shouldn't. Why is this?
- Mavra

Dear Mavra:
I'd say your husband suffers from 'hoof in mouth' disease.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to baar.bear@gmail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Ba'ar Greetings Everyone. The @Action News survey for this week is.... Hi there! Ba'ar here with your @Action News Survey for this week...If you were to create a new 'Holiday Special', what would it be like?

  • Argon says "Oh, it would be the Centaur City Christmas!"
  • Vixie says, "How Vixie saved Christmas."
  • Morticon says, "An SED Christmas, starring me, Morticon."
  • DTF laughs heartily. "Hm.... I can think of a couple that wouldn't be fit to print. But for something you can print I'd say "Christmas at the Zoo" in a way that doesn't portray the carnivores as indiscriminate killers."
  • Daystar ponders a cross between 'it's a wonderful life' and Weird Al's 'the night santa went crazy'
  • Leslie pips, "Uh...wull, I guess I'd kinda like it to be like that movie with the mice and the one who's really the janitor and the other, she's an ambassador, and they go off anyway and they fly on a stork even though he's really scared of it all?"
  • Gilead says. "I guess I'd like a special about an arctic fox who is very lonely wandering the North Pole alone. But when she finds Rudolph sick with a cold and it's too foggy for the other reindeer to navigate, she leaves them a scent trail from house to house to follow, and then has friends every Christmas forever more."

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

The Doze Garden

If Dorothy and friends had walked through the haunted forest at Christmas time.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News