August 28, 2005
Volume VI - Issue 262
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
Gilead's robot fox
Gilead the otter has a friend robot fox named Shadow Fox who's a big robot, that Borris the polar bear said is a zoid, and Borris says she's for riding in. There's a picture of it at http://mopock.com/ZOIDS/photos/ShadowFox.html and Gilead let me have a tour Friday night.
She's got a gold cockpit that lets you in once Gilead says to, and there's a cozy tight room in there with all kinds of displays. The robot nodded a couple times when I asked if she knew Gilead for a long time, but Gilead wasn't sure if it's a boy or a girl robot! I called Shadow Fox mostly Mrs. Robot and she seemed to like that fine.
She's a little bit sick right now and has stuff that needs fixed and Gilead wants to do that when he can, but it's hard finding enough time andparts and everything that he needs. Anyway she said by nodding that she likes Gilead and has a lot of fun with him. Gilead says what he does is he'll "Sometimes ride her around, sometimes show her off in the Rose Garden. She's very good at stomping on stupid powergamers trying to ruin everyone else's fun."
She's from a whole other star system a long way away, but found Gilead in a park about five north and one east of the rose garden. She doesn't see any other robots like her living around Spindizzy, but doesn't know if there are any that just need to be put together or turned on to work. She's a little lonely and would like having more friends, they don't have to be robots either.
A really neat thing is Gilead is sometimes a robot, Big Otter he calls it, but Shadow Fox didn't see that yet.
Vassily turns evil for a week!
Vassily the sloth had a problem where he turned evil for about a week! The problem started up when he was looking around and he found a cursed mirror. He knew it was cursed when he looked in it and he saw the reflection wasn't him.
It made him grow tentacles. That's not like the tentacles Gilead the Otter sometimes has, those are four long robot arms and he wears them on purpose. The ones Vassily grew he said were, "More like a squid, I had dozens of small ones." Gilead asked if he used them to open bivalve molluscs, and Vassily said, "I could pick up small things, they were sort of useful, other than the evil part. I couldn't find any clams or scallops."
I asked what they did that was evil and Vassily said, "Nothing that they did, per se. They just made me want to do evil things." But he didn't do anything that actually was evil, because, "I'm not very good at being evil."
The curse went away though and Vassily lost his tentacles. He said that happened because "I think it was because I didn't do anything evil, they just sort of shark away. I suppose if I did evil things they might come back, but that doesn't seem like me."
In fact Vassily's a superhero and usually does mostly good stuff. He's very modest and says "My powers aren't all that impressive. I can create fruit," and he showed off by making a peach, "and I can fly and I can generate steam." He says people who find cursed mirrors should "Try not to look into them too long."
Cat gets Beltrami's tongue
Saturday morning, in the midst of sticking her tongue out at Austin, elastic coati-bunny, local balloon kangaroo Beltrami found her tongue grabbed by Jellicle prince PatchO'Black.
The incident began when Beltrami, wolftaur Wulphe, and Austin entered the Rose Garden. Patch O'Black asked, "Have you been discussing Beltrami's wedding?" This came as rather a surprise to most in the Garden, and Beltrami shook her head no. Wulphe asked with whom, and Austin speculated that Roofus_roo would be the most likely fiance.
Beltrami pointed to herself and shook no; this prompted Austin to wonder if she was marrying herself. "That's terribly self-posessed, isn't it?" Beltrami shook no, prompting Austin to say, "It's a special sort of bigamy. Indeed, it's very big of both of yourself."
Quite appropriately Beltrami stuck her tongue out at Austin, only to find it grabbed by Patch O'Black. She examined the odd behaviour from Patchy, who explained, "Cat has your tongue, Beltrami."
Beltrami nodded, agreeing, but the mute balloon seemed unfamiliar with the metaphor. She's yet to indicate who she's marrying, or when, or if.
Mr Andrew got his driver's license, it was just taking a multiple-choice test. But he doesn't have a spaceship yet so he doesn't think it's really news. And he said when he does get a spaceship he'll let me sit in the captain's seat!
Pom Poko Movie review
As a tanuki, I feel that I'm uniquely qualified to review this movie.
It's refreshing that Studio Ghibli would create a movie about creatures as unique as us tanuki. Not only do they do it, they do it quite well too.
Here's a break down of what the movie has to offer.
The plot is simple. The Japanese are in the middle of a building boom and are tearing up huge amounts of forest land for a new mega-community.
Living on some of this forest land are a community of tanuki. After much debate it's decided that the tanuki resurrect the ancient art of transformation in order to scare the humans away. When this fails, the tanuki resort to all out war in a last ditch effort to reclaim the land for their own.
Quality-wise this is very well done anime, with characters you care about. You cheer on the tanuki in their efforts to just be left alone and to live in peace and are unhappy when their efforts are in vain. There are also some hilarious sequences such as the transformation lessons in which male tanuki try to look like female humans and vice versa.
Can you show the cubs/kits/pups? I wouldn't recommend it. Anime is often not for the wee ones, and Pompoko is no exception. There are a few scenes of Tanuki being run over by cars and of course a few references to the 'endowments' that we tanuki are known for. Older cubs, kits and pups will be ok though (say teen and above).
Overall I was impressed by this movie and will watch it again and again. I'll give it a rating of 4 sake bottles out of 5.
Marriage proposed to Argon
Mavra was suprised to find an e-mail addressed to her husband as follows:
From: Marina firstname.lastname@example.org
How are you? My name is Marina. I from Russia, city Kirov. To me of 28 years. I corresponded with the man from the USA before. His name Mark. He is from USA CA. We had a long correspondence and Mark wanted, that I have arrived to him in the USA that I have seen what life there. We have together submitted the statement on reception of the visa in USA! Mark spoke, that will help my in our meeting. I thought, that have met on the Internet the love. I and Mark made the big plans for the future, but in a flash all has changed. From the moment of submission of the statement for the application of the visa has passed 5 months. For these five months there was for what I least waited. Mark informed, that his former wife has returned to him and lives together with him. Soon they should get married. And now in Mark plans there is no me. I wrote to him some times after that, but Mark have wished me only good luck in the further searches worthy men and have told, that our roads miss. And in March to me there has come the invitation in US embassy behind reception of the visa. In the beginning I wanted to throw out the invitation in US embassy. To me it was sad, because my dreams were failed, I have nobody to fly in the USA. But my uncle have dissuaded me from resolute actions and have told, that else there is a chance to find worthy the man and to use the visa to a meeting with him. I well know English and practically I have visa USA. My uncle speaks, that it really solves many problems. On August, 22 the visa will be ready, and I should go to Moscow behind reception of the visa. I write to you because in my heart there is an empty seat. I do not search rich or poor. I search careful and responsible man which wants to have children and to enjoy a life together with me and children. Is this person you? I think, that I ask not much. I have told to you a little about my life. I have told not all about myself, but it will be easier to me to write about myself if you will ask questions which interest you. I have told to you the history, and now with impatience I shall look forward to hearing from you. Write to me! I shall send you more photo in the following letter. I wait for the answer. Marina.
P.S. you can write me on: email@example.com
Although flattered to be asked to marry someone sight unseen, Argon felt it only fair to write back and inform Maria that he, a) was already very happily married, and b) was a centaur.
In Step With: Aleu
This week, we sit down to talk with Aleu, local vampire bat.
Aleu has arrived.
Ba'ar smiles "Hello and thanks for consenting to the interview."
Aleu mrrs, "No problem. Glad to do it actually. Getting to be too noisy in the garden."
Ba'ar grins "The garden is too noisy at times.. Now then."
Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"
Aleu mrrs, "Hmm... well, let me think for a second... geez, it feels like forever! But I'd guess maybe 5 years?"
Ba'ar growls, "Did you come from Toons Fur and Fluff, as many SDers did?"
Aleu headshakes. "I started on RaccoonMUCK, then I came here when a friend dragged me here."
Ba'ar nods "So your friend was a SDer and wanted you to see what was up with this place?"
Aleu nods. "I wanted to stay at Raccoon, but I eventually told myself to get off my lazy rump and go check it out, and I loved it, so here I am.
Ba'ar growls, "What's your favorite place on Spindizzy and why? "
Aleu mrrs, "Well, can't say I've really been anywhere but the garden, but I guess the French Quarter. Very nice looking, and it's perfect for a party. I'm planning my birthday there."
Ba'ar smiles "When is your birthday?"
Aleu mrrs, "August 31st! Right around the corner."
Ba'ar smiles "Happy birthday..(and of course being a gentleman, I will NOT ask your age.)"
Aleu giggles. "I don't mind to tell. I'll be 24."
Ba'ar smiles "Now then...This next question's may be very sensitive, and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to."
Ba'ar growls, "I understand you're a vampire bat. How do you get your nourishment without affecting the citizens of Spindizzy?"
Aleu grins. "I'm always asked this. Due to a previous 'almost-incarceration', I can't just up and bite people anymore. I was reduced to asking for it. Well, turns out some of my very close friends didn't mind, so I just 'hunt' my friends now."
Aleu meeps. "I hope no one takes that the wrong way.
Ba'ar nods "Are you able to survive on other food besides blood?"
Aleu mrrs, "Nope. I get very little nutrition from anything except blood, and my stomach really isn't made to handle anything but blood. I have been known to have a taste for marshmellows, though. (Sorry if I spelled it wrong, Patchy.)"
Ba'ar giggles and imagines you sinking your teeth into a marshmallow "I vant to chomp your inzidez."
Aleu mrrs, "Oh please, that's Gotham. She's the one with the transylvanian accent."
Aleu mrrs, "I did bite a carton of marshmallow cream once and sucked it out through there."
Ba'ar smiles and nods "Speaking of marshmallows..have you heard of Fluff? Spreadable Marshmallows. Delicious."
Aleu mrrs, "Really? Awesome."
Ba'ar smiles "Sorry. Now then...What's a typical day like for you?"
Aleu mrrs, "A typical day for me... well, I suppose I just head to the garden and chill out for a while, listen to conversations, generally be a wallflower, though when a friend comes around, we go off to their place to talk there, play games, or things like that."
Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most? "
Aleu mrrs, "Oh man... so many to choose from. I like Adara and her neverending resolve to have events, Argon for doing the paper... I actually think it's impossible for me to choose. Lots of amirable furs here abouts."
Ba'ar growls, "Do you have any plans for the future?"
Aleu mrrs, "Hmmm... well, I have a convention trip coming up to MFM, I'm planning on making my home into something public, like a dance hall or something, and if the fates allow... maybe a batty boyfriend." She blushes."
Ba'ar nods "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"
Aleu nods. "In spite of being a vampire, creature of the night and all that rot, I don't like to see senseless bloodshed or wanton violence. I'm a bit of a pacifist."
Ba'ar nods "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"
Aleu grins and winks a bit. "Lock your windows and listen for bumps in the night..."
Ba'ar grins "But you told us already you're a pacifist. We shouldn't be afraid of you."
Aleu mrrs, "Pacifist doesn't mean I don't get hungry. >:)"
Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Again thanks."
Aleu mrrs, "No problem, it was an honor to be interviewed... heh. Interview with a Vampire. Hope we don't get sued..."
Ba'ar grins "You were just Lestat(ING) the facts ma'am."
Gilead's Laboratory of Puns
Q: How does a genetecist duplicate kittens?
Q: How are wayward puppies punished for vandalism in Singapore?
Q: Why did the Irish Setter join the Communist Party?
Q: What is the Scottish national anthem?
Q: What has six limbs and cleans the air?
Q: What do you call a cartoon about an effeminately-drawn pair of mice taking over the Ancient world?
Q: What was that cartoon about a hexapod taking over the Ancient World?
Q: What do you call the cartoon about a northern deer taking over the Ancient world?
Q: Why did the rutting buck collapse and die?
Q: What does a hamster Evita sing?
Q: Why did the dinosaur stay home?
Q: Why did the giraffes blush?
Q: Why are giraffes so popular at bars?
Q: What did the hen do when she realized her babies were getting cold?
Q: What do you call a tree rodent who's training for the knighthood?
Q: What dobyou call him once he's landed gentry?
Q: What kind of rodent was engineered to drill into nuts for food?
Q: Why did the arctic fox pee in a cup?
Q: Where do Smurfs keep their huskies?
Q: Why did the FBI profiler have to give Dr. Lecotter a mollusc in exchange for information?
This week in history
Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?
Newspaper Circulation Report
@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.
Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.
Just as a note, this makes a full year @Action News has been showing our circulation numbers. Yay!
Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.
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Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks.
This week, Argon is asking, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week, suggested by Sasha, is, 'Who is your favorite puppet character of all time?
The Doze Garden
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