May 22, 2005
Volume V - Issue 248
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
How do you smell, feel or taste?
From the SpinDizzy Bulletin Board
Announcing an easy way to set your smell, feel, and taste properties! You can thank Selethrial for the idea. Type 'look @scent', 'look @feel', and 'look @taste' for more information. It even sets the notification props so you know when someone accesses them!
To make them easy to use, they work essentially like the @desc command. Here's an example:
To set the scent property on yourself, enter: @scent me = Mmmm! To clear it, type: @scent me =
As always, let me know of any bugs you find.
Red Pandas Threaten to Turn Furry
From the SpinDizzy Bulletin Board
Not having been content to remain simply cute and aloof for several thousand years, red pandas (or 'lesser pandas' as they prefer not to be known) have recently started to make inroads into the community known as 'furries'. One red panda at a zoo in Japan, after having seen a 'documentary' entitled 'CSI', has decided to attempt to join this community.
"I'm sure you're aware of the painful reputation that giant pandas have in terms of their intimate social lives," said Futa, pandas have in terms of our intimate social lives," said Futa, the red panda at Tokyo zoo through a translator. "I would like to assure you that red pandas are in no way similarly afflicted," he continued. "After seeing the documentary on furries, I am sure that becoming one will help to dispel this myth that red pandas are similar to our giant cousins in this respect, by becoming a furry."
More information on this breaking story can be found at, http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/japananimalpandaoffbeat
In step with: Morticon
Greetings! Ba'ar here with the latest in a series of articles about the local Spindizzy citizenry. Today we've scored a coup! Morticon, local jackanapes Wallaby and SED leader has agreed to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with us!
Morticon sits at a swivel chair. "Hello."
Ba'ar growls, "Greeting Morticon....Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule for the interview."
Morticon grins, "Of course. I'm quite happy to let my adoring public know more about the unseen me."
Ba'ar grins "Unseen you? The people see ALOT of you. But seriously folks......"
Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"
Morticon says, "I was created as a side character (originally just for a short section of an RP. I was supposed to be killed soon after) sometime in 1997, pre-SpinDizzy, which puts me on TF&F. My evil could not be contained, and I was soon made into a real character and became unstoppable!"
Ba'ar nods "I understand fellow SEDer Mouser is also from TF and F."
Ba'ar growls, "I understand you're from a lab. How did this come about? How did you come to be in Spindizzy."
Morticon says, "I didn't really know Mouser back then, as my real SED involvement wasn't until SD. I am actually a prototype for a military project (who could ever suspect that cute little animals are trained killers?) and escaped from the lab of OzBioTech (OBT, for short. This is where my infamous dog-tag came from) during an infiltration by Shadowstalker, who was attempting to blow up the lab at the time. Unfortunatly, due to the demise of TF&F, how I got here (survived?) exactly is hidden in the mists of erased worlds."
Ba'ar growls, "Speaking of the SED......."
Ba'ar growls, "Our readers know about our organization the SED (Society of Evil Doers) and know of its goals (to take over the world). How would this improve things? "
Morticon says, "Do I have to list ALL the reasons? Well... the best parts of my world domination scheme is that everyone would have something to do. Whether it's extracting material from the SED mines, or building a monolithic structure in dedication to me, all would lead fufilling lives. Petty things like arguments would be a thing of the past. Why, some of you, especially those who join the SED, would live in luxury all their days. Otherwise benefits include a highly organized world, no crime, and ninja sightings would be a common occurance. And of course, to give those who can't do hard labor things to do, I'll create a beaucracy. WHat could be more fufilling then to fill out papers?"
Morticon says, "And a side note, we will become even more technologically advanced. I'll sponsor research into various things that interest me, like a banana-free world."
Ba'ar growls, "Why would you want a Banana free world? Some furs (like myself) like a banana every now and again.."
Morticon says, "Well, frankly, it's to annoy the fruitbats. It is well known that wallabies and fruitbats, as well as centaurs, have never gotten along."
Ba'ar growls, "If our readers wanted to join the SED, how could they go about doing this?"
Morticon says, "Glad you asked! They need to go to the SED FAQ on the SpinDizzy.org web site. That will fill them in. I'm also always looking for experimental subjects, willing or otherwise ::evil grin::."
Ba'ar growls, "Any special qualities that you're looking for in a new SED recruit?"
Morticon says, "Contrary to popular belief, I need them to be intelligent. An unfailing loyalty is also a plus, as well as being able to do things without me micromanaging. I mean, while I'm in the middle of building my next doomsday machine, I can't be telling a minion how to capture Sunshine!"
Ba'ar growls, "Here's another thing... What are you most proud of as SED chief?"
Ba'ar growls, "What was the SED's finest hour"
Morticon blinks.. "Oh my... a toughie.... I actually done hundreds of plots over the years, literally (small or otherwise)... Hmm..."
Morticon says, "A few that stick out in my mind (but not nessecarily the *best*) are..."
Morticon says, "The original SED Dinner party, the one that started it all. It had everything!"
Morticon says, "The day I burned the letters SED into the map. I wonder how many noticed."
Morticon says, "My various kidnappings. When I kidnapped Cassie, I even got them to pay a ransom!"
Morticon says, "The time I made Eris a physical body. It paved the way for future projects in cloning, some quite active."
Morticon says, "The Skittle scare. Eating one of my Skittles would turn you into something random."
Ba'ar smiles and nods.
Morticon says, "Can you think of any?"
Morticon says, "I'd have to look through @action news myself... oh yes! When I took over the paper."
Ba'ar growls, "How about the time when you took over @Action News?" Ba'ar nods at Morticon "I've actually read that issue. "
Morticon says, "Alas, I keep no memoirs of my experiances... and I have a remarkably poor memory with my failures. But I try not to do the same thing twice. Or at least not the exact same thing."
Ba'ar growls, "Now back to the SED...tell us...What benefits would they receive as SED members? "
Morticon says, "The planet landing bit was a success I suppose, even if it wasn't evil."
Morticon says, "Food, lodging, health and dental, probably a paycheck, and lots of fun toys! More of this can be found in the FAQ. While the pay isn't great.. the reward comes from the job itself.... getting to do evil. It's not that I'm broke or anything... ::whistle::"
Ba'ar grins "The prestige that comes from being on.....'The Winning Team'....eh?"
Morticon grins, "Yes. We are one of the largest, longest-running groups on SpinDizzy. Save for those pesky wizards.
Ba'ar growls, "Now then....If you were made Spindizzy's king, what changes would you make?"
Morticon says, "Probably what I already described. Though in addition I would make it mandatory to serve in the SED military. You know.. see this world and others as you fight for evil! Anyone who dares stand in my way will be publically fruited! And most importantly, I would demand the respect that I deserve. That, and the maximum height would be 3.8 feet. Cye would need to be shrunk. BUahaha!"
Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most? "
Morticon hhrrmmms.... "Is this a trick question?"
Ba'ar growls, "No...a straightforward question...though I do understand if you admire yourself the most."
Morticon says, "I do admire those who have foolishly stood in my way for years and years and for not giving up time after time... but in reality, only I am worthy of my own admiration. Who else is as intelligent, daring, attractive, physically fit, and luminant as myself?"
Morticon grins a winning smile.
Ba'ar growls, "Here's a trick question...if you weren't SED leader and jackanapes wallaby...what do you think you'd be doing to pass the time?"
Morticon says, "Exploring our huge world with friends. Go on little adventures. I wouldn't sit still even if I was 'unemployed'. Maybe I'd even try dating."
Ba'ar growls, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"
Morticon says, "That I'm just as three dimensional as everyone else. I too want love and affection, and that I'm not doing evil every waking moment of my life. A few of my actions could be considered, horrid as it sounds, charitable."
Ba'ar growls, "So you say some of your actions may be considered charitable. In what way?"
Morticon says, "Easy, dear Ba'ar... I occansionally do things without a direct reward for me. I've gone 'beyond the call of duty' a number of times. Hard to believe, but true."
Ba'ar growls, "Can you give some examples?"
Morticon says, "Helping to land the planet. I've saved a few lives.. and... even cleaned up after a few of my mistakes (I once overran Neopolis with zombies) when it wasn't nessecary. Juat the other day, I saved a poor (nonmorphic) fox's life... got him here and did emergency surgery. I'm even giving him a home."
Ba'ar nods "That's good...now then..one final question...Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?
Morticon says, "Why, yes. It's a large world out there. And not all of it is as it seems. But use that fact to foil me, and I'll dig out your brain with a grapefruit spoon! ::smirk::"
Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Once again Morticon...Thanks."
Morticon smirks and nods, "Want to be my latest test subject?"
Morticon says, "I've got a lovely helmet to try on you..."
Ba'ar growls, "Even if it's a bike or skateboard helmet, I'm not interested."
Morticon shows you out...
|Aushae, local silver dragoness, mentioned trying to fight off a bad cold this week. She had been suffering from it for most of the week and her mate, Austin, local elastic coati, had been carefully looking after her. While visiting in the Rose Garden, she mentioned that she was running a fever.
Argon, local centaur, asked how you could tell a dragon was running a fever. As they breath fire, amoung other powers, he wasn't sure putting a thermometer in Aushae's mouth would give an accurate reading of her temperature.
The dragon responded by breathing at the curious centaur. But, rather than the expected burst of fire and sulfer, Argon was enveloped in a somewhat chill wind. This was unexpected, but certainly a relief to the centaur.
This demostration showed that when dragons are sick and running a 'fever', their body temperature actually goes down, and apparently their fire goes out. Although dragons are known for protecting themselves their treasure and their families with fire, even when the fire is out, their large size, sharp claws and a mouth full of large pointy teeth will do a fine job of keeping a dragon's valubles safe.
As of press time, Aushae reported that she is recovering and feeling better. Much to the relief of Austin.
Gilead's Winter of Discontenting Puns
Q: Why do white bears see so well in glare?
Q: What is the best way to leave neat white lines in the snow?
Q: How do you keep a panther from getting freezer burn in the Antarctic?
Q: What's a sled dog's favorite brand of chainsaw?
Q: Why do arctic "sea parrots" cough so much?
Q: What eats penguins and falls apart?
Q: Who predicts the opinions of Arctic Foxes?
Q: Why do bergs tend to cluster together?
Q: What do you use to fix a broken Eskimo?
Q: What size of harness do sled dogs wear?
Q: What interrupts a penguin picnic?
Zach's Quoted Quote Question
|Can you guess where the quote was said and who said it? See the bottom of the paper for the answer.
Ones like the little ones in the park make little noises. I can talk 'cause I'm a boy.
This week in history
Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?
Newspaper Circulation Report
@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.
Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.
Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear M. Place:
Dear Bearing up,
Dear Angst E. Teen:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear T. Woodsman:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear M. Brooks:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear P. Lotor:
Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks.
This week, Argon is asking a question everyone should be able to answer, "What muck client (or program) do you use to connect to SpinDizzy?"
Zach's Quoted Quote Answer
New improved chocolate covered macadamias mix. A sweet that will bring out the nut in you. Find out where to get them from your nutty friends.
Today's location takes us to the ... Forest Clearing. Yes that's right new location as we try every week to bring you riveting dialogue that somehow doesn't get said in the Rose Garden, when we can. As for our quoted individual it is Felix, good-hearted chittery squirrel boy.
Congratulation to all of you that guessed right!
The Doze Garden
The fruitbats and banana slugs reach a settlement concerning this year's banana crop.
|@Action News Info||
Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles
Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to email@example.com or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News