@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.

Morticon Given Bath

Alicia, Ba'ar and Scandal, along with a few other folks, took the chance to give Morticon, local Wallaby, a bath this week.

Finding the evil wallaby in the Rose Garden, he was lured into the fountian where some super high grade soap was added. Soon lots of water, wet wallaby and the soap combined to make Morticon look almot like a balloonie! Although he didn't float.

Soon he was scrubbed and clean, and several folks helped dry him off with soft fluffy towels, to which the wallaby objected strenuously. Within minutes, smelling nice and fresh, Morticon hopped off.

Of course, he'll need another bath in a couple of years. Morti commented that this was the first time he was bathed in public.

How Not to RP Event

Morticon's "How Not to Role Play" event, was well attended and reports claim it was a lot of fun. The idea of having folks who are usually considerate of other players, and give them a chance to react as they would if they were powergamers seemed like a fun idea.

Although arriving late, I saw enough to think that a repeat performance, with perhaps not as "structured" a format might draw even more folks.

If you agree, try to convince Morticon to do another by page #mailing him with requests until he gives in.

Darius Revived

Darius, The ferret who was brutally murdered in a mysterious incedient within the walls of SED, has been resurrected. The exact details are unknown, but it appears that the Kitsune, Alex, was somehow involved. The ferret shows no ill effects from the act, but does display some obvious body alterations. A fluffier tail, pointier ears and muzzle, among other smaller less noticible features.

Whatever happened, happened in Darius' apartmen in SED headquarters. A loud rumbling and light tremors were felt but no signs of damage are apparent. There were no witnesses, which adds more to the curious and rather suspicious nature of his return.

Morticon was stunned to see Darius in the flesh and walking in the garden, and refused to believe that it was him. He demanded to know of where Darius' ghost was, and asked if the true Darius was a clone. Darius was unable to convince Morticon of it was really him come back to life.

The events leading up to this are also a mystery to the average bystander. Rumors have been floating around about the true nature and history of these incidents, but none can be truelly verified. SED personel were unable to answer questions, saying the case had been sealed.

Shrek 2 Movie Review

Shrek 2."Shrek 2" brings back Shrek (Mike Myers), Fiona (Cameron Diaz), Donkey (Eddie Murphy), and many of the hilarius supporting characters from the first film. Fiona and Shrek are returning from their honeymoon when her parents, the King (John Cleese) and Queen (Julie Andrews) of the Kingdom of Far Far Away command them to attend a royal ball. They're the ones who sent Fiona into exile in the first place, due to her annoying habit of turning into an ogre when the sun sets. Annoying to everyone but Shrek, of course.

Fiona's parents had expected Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) to rescue her and give her a kiss to break the curse and make her beautiful day and night. That plan fell through because Shrek rescued her first, but the King and Queen don't know that, and they don't know that the couple is married.

In addition to the royal couple and Prince Charming -- whose charm is questionable -- there are some other wonderful characters added to the mix.

Antonio Banderas is pretty funny as Puss In Boots, who is sent to kill Shrek, but instead becomes his staunch ally. Donkey becomes a little jealous and tells the cat, "I'm sorry, but the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken." A number of hairball and "licking oneself" jokes are tossed in for good measure.

Jennifer Saunders plays the Fairy Godmother, who is secretly the mother of Prince Charming. Not at all a "Disney" fairy godmother, this one is rotten to the core, and determined to replace Shrek with her toothy smiling son, no matter what the cost.

The Kingdom of Far Far Away looks like Hollywood, and there are dozens of cultural touchstones, such as the theme song to the old TV show "Rawhide" with new lyrics, and parodies of such movies as "The Matrix" and "Spider-Man." A Farbucks coffee shop makes an apperance. Also look for a bit with a picture taped to the ceiling above Fiona's girlhood bed. The stud in the photo, "Sir Justin," looks a lot like a certain Justin dating a certain actress who happens to provide Fiona's voice in this film.

One part of the film this reviewer enjoyed was the business with Don;ey changing into, "...a stallion, baby!" He becomes a hansome white steed whi is remarkably well animated.I can speak from experience that his movments re quite natural.

Like the first movie, a number of fairy tale characters are lampooned. Look for a mermaid with red hair who looks suspiciously similar to Ariel, a clock and candlestick as in Beauty and the Beast, and of course, Pinochio.

Although really funny, and able to stand on it's own, it's best to have seen the first Shrek film to enjoy Shrek 2 the most. Personally, I think the first was was funnier. None-the-less, it's well worth the $8.00 or so to see it.

Gilead's Otterible Puns

What do you call a cowardly blackbird?
A Craven.

How do you diagnose West Nile Virus?
OK, now turn your head and caw.

What do you call a badly behaved rodent?
A bRat.

Why don't wallabies like to move a lot?
They like to have 'roo'ts."

Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That" s me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up,
What is the best brand of honey to use on fresh biscuits? I figure a bear ought to know.
- Poppin Fresh

Dear Poppin' Fresh:
How would I know? I use a combination of all of them on my biscuits.

Dear Bearing Up:
Should I buy a film or digital camera?
- Ansel

Dear Ansel:
Buy a Digital Film Camera.

Dear Bearing Up,
Just to set the record straight, getting horseshoes applied doesn't hurt a centaur (or a horse for that matter,) at all when done by a professional. It's no more uncomfortable that clipping your nails. In fact, having had human form, I can say from experience it's far easier than clipping your toenails. I just wanted to squelch any rumors or misinformation.
- Argon

Dear Argon:
Thanks for NAILING that one HOME and for SHOEing us the right way to go.

Dear Bearing Up,
Who is buried in Grant's Tomb anyway?
- Curious

Dear Curious:

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna, if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon asked,"I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week, suggested by Theo is, 'How many plushies do you own"

  • Tanuki barks, "That's been done, hasn't it? About five."
  • Felina mews, "Bunches."
  • Trine has around... 317. Unless you count bean0bag plushes, which adds another 50.
  • Findra -- I own so many plushies that I've not counted them in ages. I'd guess around 40. Mostly bunnies!
  • Ping ponders. "About 6. All of which I've had for most of my life."
  • GrumpyBear grumbles, "I belong to Ba'ar."
  • Tami says, "Since the storage shed fire, I own only three that matter, Brownie, Dante, and Hobbes."
  • Roofus_roo says, "Too many."
  • Austin says, "For the survey, Argon, I have no idea how many plushies I own. It's at least a dozen, maybe more than two dozen. I get a lot of them as gifts. Come to it, I think 25-30 would be the right number.""
  • ChocolateChip ooohs! "I have over 200!"
  • Darius says, "I own zero."
  • Tottle chuckles. "Finally, a survey I can answer. I own about two dozen, and a third of 'em are raccoons."
  • Gilead chirps, "In terms of numbers, I stopped counting 5 years ago."
  • Mavra says, "Mainly I've lions, imagine that..But I've also a few bears."
  • Brenda -- Brenda has 10 plushies: 5 cougars, 3 leopards/panthers, a cheetah, and a panda.
  • Suri -- At least a hundred.

The Doze Garden

Joe's wish to have the body all women want doesn't come out as he'd hoped.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren" t out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported dont have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News