April 25, 2004
Volume IV - Issue 197
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
Wallaby Morticon claimed victory Tuesday morning in his plan to dunk coati Austin in the water several times after a scheme wearing balloon half-dragon genie Dolly was foiled by balloon half-dragon Beltrami.
Events began with Morticon accosting Dolly from the Rose Garden from afar. Dolly had been deflated by fox balloon Firewind who wanted to practice pumping her back full of air. Following the kidnapping Austin advised calm and asserted, "if we let them be there's a 65 percent chance Morticon's plan will implode on its own." He apologized to Beltrami for the language. Foxcat Cithara asked about the other 35 percent of the time. Austin said, "30 percent of the time someone else does something. The rest of the time the plan falls apart because it starts working, and Morticon didn't count on that."
On the assumption Dolly was taken to Morticon's headquarters Gryphe shapeshifted into a dryghon and flew away. Firewind asked where Morticon's headquarters was. Before anyone knowing the location of Morticon's headquarters was found Dolly walked back in and waved stiffly to all. She looked full and when Firewind offered her an air pump Morticon's voice impersonating Dolly said "I don't need air!"
Gryphe came back then and demanded to know what was going on. As Austin explained Dolly picked up Austin and carried him to the fountain. Gryphe demanded to know again "before I kill someone out of pure frustration" and Austin reassured him he already saw what we knew.
Dolly squeaked out "I'm... uh... possessed!" and then Morticon's Dolly impersonation added "With love for the Coati!" Austin said he hoped that was love as a daughter--he's adopted Beltrami and Dolly as children. An exasperated Gryphe fled the Garden.
Dolly dunked Austin in the water several times when Beltrami tapped her on the shoulder. She found her shoulder hard to the touch, and recreated squirrel Nimble's sketchpad from storage in her operator pack. Beltrami remembering Dolly is a genie wrote that she wished Dolly would shrink back to her lamp form, and she began crumpling in and shrinking into the form of a small oil-lamp shape though she remained latex. In her shrinking she grew smaller than-and forced out-the body of Morticon, who'd taken advantage of her deflated form to put her on.
Morticon's goal stays unclear, but as rabbit Findra subdued Morticon in dunking Austin he had his evil accomplished. Findra speculated whether there was a law against kidnapping and getting inside balloons. Austin speculated what might have happened were Morticon not squeezed outside.
Morticon smiled and claimed he'd become a genie.
Later in the week Morticon claimed he did it because it would be fun to wear Dolly. Dolly has not given her opinion on it.
"Personal Ad" Misinterpreted by Wallaby
Brenda, local 51 foot cougar, recently posted an ad on the bulletin board:
STGFF (Single Tan Giant Feline Female) ISO mad scientist, geneticist, magic user, potion maker, or just about anyone who can bring about change to one person, in more ways than one. Must have enough experience to not mess with personality changes. Possible exchange for goods or services may be negotiatable Page or qmail Brenda for details. Note: Evil wallabys need nod apply. ;)
Morticon, local evil wallaby, was found answering the ad by standing in the Rose Garden and nodding vigorously. Not realising the "...need nod apply," was a typographical error which has since been corrected, Morticon was trying to fufil the requirements Brenda had set forth.
After nodding for a while, Morticon began an attempt to gather souls. He was asked if he was trying to get a soul to make himself more appealing to Brenda.
Morticon answered, "Oh, the souls aren't for ME."
He was asked, "They aren't?"
Morticon said, "Of course not. They're to keep Brenda's company. Changing her body is a giant undertaking. So giant, if I win I hope to have a closed circuit viewing room, and lots of helpers in the operating room."
Morticon's "changing" of Brenda seemed reminicent of Frankenstein's monster, to which Roland, local Gilean, commented, "They made Frankenstein's Monster from Wallaby-parts, you know?"
Morticon says, "Wallaby parts?"
It was soon apparent that the monster wasn't made from wallaby parts. The group then wondered if perhaps Morticon was reading the ad as a call for candidates to date Brenda. This didn't seem to be Brenda's intention, but it was supposed that Morticon may have read the ad that way, and was planing to woo the giant cougar in spite of the "Evil Wallabys need nod apply." statement at its end.
After folks in the group pointed out that Brenda might not be a good match for Morticon, and several possible matches for Morticon, the wallaby then pointed out that the ad wasn't for a "date". He continued nodding though as it was pointed out that the ad said no evil wallabys, and that with a different form, he might be right for the position.
Morti resisted the idea of changing his form, particularly to that of a "wallabytaur". After nodding for a while, he hopped off.
When asked for a comment, Brenda sighed and said. "I Didn't realize I had made the typo until it was too late. Ah well...I suppose out of fairness I should consider him. But if he thinks he'll have his way with me (assuming I choose him, of course), he'll be sorely mistaken."
As of press time, Brenda was still considering applicants.
Argon and Mavra Married?
In a suprize announcement, Austin, local coati, informed Argon, local centaur, that he and Mavra had been married. Argon, in answer to a question concerning how many married couples there were in SpinDizzy. As he tried naming them, he said, "I'd say Mavra and me, but we haven't tied the knot yet."
Austin said, "Oh, you didn't hear, Argon?"
To which Argon blinked and asked, "We got married? I need to idle less."
Austin explained, "Yup. We figured no sense waiting and had Aishae marry you two together a couple weeks ago. We waited for a time you were both asleep. Safer that way than waiting for a time you couuld both come here and get kicked off by ISP troubles."
Austin continued, "Leslie was the flower child and Royce would have been the ring-bearer if we thought he'd let it go. Skyler was best man, of course, and Skyler was maid of honour."
You said, "Gee, I must have missed the ceremony. Where did we go on our honeymoon?"
PatchO'Black mewed, "I think you've been on it since you two met, Argon."
Argon smiled and replied, "Heh, that's true, Patch."
Hopefully, Argon and Mavra will have another ceremony this September so they can (apparently) renew their vows and have some recollection of the event.
Kangaroo Turns Balloonie
Local bunny-fairy, Leslie wanted to turn the inflatable Roofus Roo, local balloonie kangaroo, into a plush.
Leslie's feelers and wand glowed purple as she held Roofus and touched his head with the wand.
Roofus_roo surged a bit and filled with a violet glow, but after some time, Leslie dusted it away, leaving a plush toy inside Roofus' inflatable body. She blamed the distraction of Nimble, local squirrel's, arrival.
Roofus_roo offered, "Maybe you simply changed your mind at the last moment?"
After this minor accident, Nimble and Skyler, local bunny slippers, decided Roofus_roo was too squishy and in need of inflation.
Nimble brought out some helium and Skyler hooked Roofus up, slowly setting Roofus_roo aloft over the Rose Garden.
Logreth, local Blue Pernese Firelizard, arrived a short time after, and soon, most of the Garden's occupants were floating along.
Leslie smiled and explained that,"This was (like) a cartoon!" she pipped, "with love painted on."
Dragon Gets New Ears
Dragon Gryphe has sported a new pair of ears since Tuesday morning when half-dragon genie balloon Dolly gave her a pair of rabbit-ears. Things began when Dolly woke and coati Austin asked what was new in "draco-genie balloondom" and Dolly answered not much.
Austin said "Quick, somebody make a whimsical yet troublesome wish" and half-dragon balloon Beltrami answered. Pointing at Austin's rabbit ears, holding up one finger, then two, and pointing at Gryphe made her meaning plain. Dolly went to work giving Gryphe a duplicate of Austin's bunny ears. The ears appeared in a puff of rubber smoke and replaced Gryphe's former ears.
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Dear @Action News,
It has come to my attention that there is an illegal Pokemon-fighting arena at S1 E2. Pokemon fighting is a barbaric sport where "trainers" force their pokemon to fight in brutal, poorly drawn, battles. To make matters worse, these cruel people carry their pokemon into tiny spherical "pokeballs" which are actually smaller than most of the pokemon themselves. I do not know how they manage to fit them in there, but I do know that it cannot be either comfortable or humane. Our community must be notified of this place. It is up to us to put a stop to this barbaric practice.
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The Doze Garden
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