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Argon -- Editor

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Beach Returns to Rose Garden

After a fun weekend of surf and sand, "The Shore", or beach where the Spring Break event was held, returned to its normal appearance.

Tuesday night, Murticon, local wallaby and Wiz, briefly arrived at the beach and said he was going to change it back to The Rose Garden. Although a few folks expressed disappointment that "The Shore" would be no more, the change went smoothly.

The hoped-for record-breaking connection numbers weren't reached during this event, but those who did log on had a great time. It is hoped that more "Special Events" such as this can be held. The Wizzes are always open to ideas for things like this. If you have an idea, talk to a Wiz!

Kern, Ing Demand Gender Clarity

Mechanical birds Kern, the clockwork tern, and Ing, Kern's imaginary friend and raven, demanded Sunday that biological characters across the muck choose a gender and settle on it. Matters began when Kern referred to one female character as "he" and was corrected, provoking a fit from the metal-based avian.

"It's very confusing that you can't decide whether you're he or she," Kern cried. "One of you says you're he, and I bet he says you're she, and she says you're he again," it said, pointing at one male, one female, and another male in the Rose Garden.

Silver gryphon Gryphe questioned whether anyone had trouble deciding; gender trades are notoriously rare on Spindizzy compared to more eccentric transformations into slippers, pendants, balloons and that ilk. Kern flapped away and insisted the crowd in the Rose Garden couldn't make up its mind whether to be 'he' or 'she' consistently. Ing, speaking through Kern, agreed that the biological characters could be much less confusing about whether they're he or she.

Ping Denies Being Elephant's Agent

Ping, leading cartoon mouse, denied rumors this week that he had signed on as agent to a young elephant rumored to be able to fly. ``I don't know how these stories get started,'' said the wizard, ``but I'm hard at work in my studies and haven't the time to be an agent for anyone, elephant or not.'' Ping also denied knowing any elephants at all. The after-hours roleplay market was unaffected by this and Ping's stock rose 3/8 of a point on his denial of involvement in the activity.

Reporters Needed

Thanks to a number of folks, @Action News covers SpinDizzy like an elastic coati. However, additional contributions to the paper are not only welcome, but needed.

Fun and interesting things happen on SpinDizzy at all hours of the day and night. Things other folks would enjoy hearing about. If something happens that folks seem to enjoy, how about writing it down and send it in to be in the paper? All sorts of strange, unusual, and creative things happen on SpinDizzy that no one else knows about. You can help folks know what else is going on here!

So feel free to contribute to newspaper@spindizzy.org. You can become one of the well respected members of the @Action News Team, or send in your contribution anonymously if you wish. Either way, help @Action News show SpinDizzy residents what they're missing when they aren't awake.

Editor, @Action News

Caption Contest

DBoki looks for fish.Here's Boki, local seagull, perched on a telescope. What caption do you think ought to be applied to this picture?

Send your ideas via page #mail to sdn or Carl, or e-mail them to newspaper@spindizzyorg. And remember, there are no wrong answers.

More Fun With Puns

With both Argon and Rown, local centaurs, visiting the Rose Garden, the arrival of Ba'ar, local bear resulted in the following exchange;

Ba'ar smiles at Argon and Rown "What is this? A Centaur's convention?"
You say, "Hi Ba'ar. Nah, only two of us."
Millicent waves to Ba'ar as she takes her food over to a bench to eat. "I said that about the 'taurs already, Ba'ar."
Rown says, "I didn't realize that two Centaurs qualify as a convention."
You say, "Takes three to make a herd."
You say, "Or so I heard."
Ba'ar grins at Argon "Herd? What have you HERD?"
Leslie pips, "Sure we heard of centaurs!"
Kinsor skriters, "Centaur's heard, but a band saw!"
Ba'ar growls, "Bears are in SLOTHS even though we're really quite ACTIVE."
Ba'ar growls, "What have you HEARD about horses Argon?"
BarterGarter hisses, "A firm of snakes?"
Kinsor skriters, "Perhaps Argon is herd of hearing?"
Ba'ar growls, "This is getting to be worse than the "Horse but not a horse" punfest from last week."
You say, "Not much, really. I don't know much about horses at all."
Ba'ar growls, "But how about like horses but not horses Argon?"
BarterGarter hisses, "A mansion of bunnies! ;)"
Ba'ar growls, "I'd thought it would be a WARREN or BURROW of bunnies."
BarterGarter hisses, "A cloudful of Bears."
Kinsor skriters, "That was un warrented."
Ba'ar grins at Bartergarter "Or are you thinking of the PLAYBOY type of bunny?"
Millicent says, "I know someone who herds a herd of sheep."
Kinsor skriters, "The herd is the word?"
Gilead chirps, "For the other type of bunny."
Ba'ar grins at Gilead "You're RUDDERly insane."
Leslie pips, "Oh...no I saw that...it's kinda neat humans dressing up to pretend they're bunnies."
Kinsor skriters, "Tarnation!"
Kinsor skriters, "Er, Leslie's been taurnished?"
Ba'ar growls, "TAURnation sounds to me a great name for a Taur themed muck.;-D"
BarterGarter is almost a taur herself. Her cart is her extension.
Kinsor skriters, "We know where to look when bears get corrupted. Check the bee trees!"
BarterGarter hisses, "DamNation would be a good name for a beaver themed MUCK."
BarterGarter hisses, "DoeNation, the deer themed muck!"
Casandro says, "HissssNation, the snake themed muck."
Millicent says, "Boarnation, the pig-themed music."
Kinsor skriters, "You're getting ba'aried in it all?"
Gilead hasn't even gotten to the personalized, online country. Your eNation.
Kinsor skriters, "Now's our chance, we can go ba'ar hopping!"
Ba'ar gets up and brushes himself off.
Rown . o O ( Dogonit, a name for a dog based muck. )
. Ba'ar sprays the air with pun b gone.
Kinsor skriters, "Quick, back to the pun hive!"
Rown says, "Wallawallawallaby for a wallaby based muck? :-p"
Ba'ar thinks that This place is going BATTY thanks to Kinsor."
Kinsor skriters, "Well, thanks! :}"
Ba'ar growls, "How about a gathering of Wallabies that served the SED...MORTI-CON."
BarterGarter hisses, "A muck for evil mustelids. BadMinkTon!"
Rown says, "Tied me banana down sport!"
Kinsor skriters, "Ech! Don't talk about banana peels, that just gets us on a slippery slope!"
Rown says, "Not very ap*peal*ing to you? :-p"
Millicent says, "What about orange peels. After all, a rind is a terrible thing to waste."

Watch @Action News next week when a centaur goes someplace and no puns are made. A fantasy story of course.

Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That" s me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
You owe me $30!
-Customer Service

Dear Customer Service:
When you give me the level of service I want, you shall have the $30.00.

Dear Bearing up,
After the Spring Break event, I have sand in my shorts. It's all in my fur and makes me itch. I've taken baths, but nothing gets rid of the sand. What can I do to get rid of the sand?
- Sandy

Dear Sandy:
The only thing for you to do is to shave your fur off and have it grow back. That will take care of things.

Dear Bearing up:
I watch "The Price is Right" every day. How come Bob Barker doesn't use a wireless microphone? The contestants keep tripping over the wire going to his microphone.
- Mike

Dear Mike:
Mr. Barker always wants the contestants to trip so as to take their minds off the fabulous prizes.

Dear Bearing up:
If an artist draws my picture, and it stinks, how can I say so without making the artist feel bad?
- Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo:
Tell him nicely as you can.

Dear Bearing up:
My doctor has prescibed valium for my nervousness, but I think Klonopin would be better. Should I ask my doctor, or just drink beer instead?
- Bud

Dear Bud:
Drink a 6 pack of beer daily and you'll be completely relaxed.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week, suggested by Butterfluff is, 'What planet are you from?"

  • Gilead -- "Gilead's a typical Earth otter from the North American continent."
  • PatchO'Black mews, "The Jellicle homeworld, of course."
  • Gryphe chitters, "Chakona! The planet where all furries live in peace!"
  • KitV growls, "Earth."
  • Austin says, "I believe the planet was called Brazilia, but I'm not positive."
  • BarterGarter hisses, "Men are from Mars. Lemurs are from Froobylon Spoxy 12. I'm from the Garden of Eden planet. I had a good job selling farm produce in exchange for human souls, but got kicked out for political reasons."
  • Leslie pips, "I'm pretty sure bunnies are from Earth to start with Mr Argon."
  • Rown says, "Lessee, last time I looked it was Earth but then I do believe it's also called "Taurra" in Latin.
  • "Leslie pips, "I heard there's a planet called Oldnorthstralia and I bet that's where Mr Roofus is from!"
  • Roofus_roo blinks.
  • Sunshine answers, "Does Canada count as a planet?"
  • Carlos answers, "Babies don't come from planets. You see, when two people really like each other..."
  • Kinsor -- "Kinsor came from the REF Kinsor Science Station.
  • Logreth telepaths, <I'm from Pern, of course. It's in the Rukbat system in Sagittarian Sector.>

The Doze Garden

Why theaters sell those "Giant' sodas now...

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren" t out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported dont have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News