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Argon -- Editor

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Mars Rover Takes Wrong Turn

Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) were scratching their heads in confusion this week. After a short loss of signal, images resumed transmission from the rover. However, rather than crisp, detailed images of the Martian surface, pictures beamed back showed a lush garden full of trees, roses, and apparently sentient life.

Several JPL scientists noted the area in the rover's field of view resembled that of the world famous Municipal Rose Garden in San Jose, California. San Jose authorities reported the rover was not present at the park. And most of the life forms in the images had never been seen there.

As it became clear that the pictures were actually being beamed from off the Earth, and weren't an elaborate prank or joke by British rocket scientists who now had plenty of time on their hands, the images were studied more closely. As the rover rolled over thick grass, and around lush rose bushes, it observed the life forms in its field of view. These included many familiar species, raccoons, dogs, and foxes among others, but questions as to the authenticity of the photos increased as 'group portraits' were beamed back. These included mythical creatures, including giant foxes, kitsunes and even centaurs.

As of press time, full explanations of the images and their source have not been made. However the JPL has re-established contact with the rover. JPL scientists have discovered a workaround that hopefully will solve the problem. There is no word if the assistance of the sentient creatures in the "Rose Garden" had any impact on this resolution. Rumors that one of them removed the JAVA programming and replaced it with Linux have remained unconfirmed,

Information on both Spirit, and Opportunity, scheduled to land Saturday, January 25, 2004, can be found at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory website. As of press time, the Opportunity Mars rover had made a safe landing on Mars. More information was not available as the paper went to press.

For Pictures of the real Rose Garden, courtesy of Nikon, of Raccoon Photography, follow the link.

For a full description of SpinDizzy's Mars Lunar Rover - Spirit, follow this link.

Coming January 31 -- The Magic World of Soap Bubbles

Coming 31 January only to Spindizzy -- the Magic World of Soap Bubbles! You'll see through the Rose Garden and who's sure what else in a way you haven't before, and take in the strange and wonderful delights that open up.

Ask Flutterz or Austin for more mysterious details!

Unusual Currency Reflects Something Mysterious

This week, the currency on SpinDizzy, ranged from unusual to baffling. The currency is generally changed daily, and has some usually obvious, obscure, or no reasonable connection to daily events on and / or off the muck.

The reference on Sunday to spinach, was a reference to Popeye's 75th anniversary. And two days' refered to the Chinese New Year. One however was impossible to figure out. Memory as to the exact wording varied, but some agree that the currency was, "electronic rains on android sheep".

No official confirmation or denial of the meaning of this currency was offered. The jury is still out if it wasn't just a scrambled receipt of data from the Mars Rover.

Lamar filled With Envy and Spite While Suri Celebrates Birthday

Lamar, local bunny and proud resident of the British Empire, found two reasons to be upset this week. One was irritation at Suri's celebration of the progress of the Spirit Mars rover mission, which put the British Beagle Mars rover on the back burner.

In addition, Suri was happy to announce her birthday, which for no really good reason, irritated the bunny further.

Suri did console Lamar and the rest of the Rose Garden group, with stories of how tasty her birthday cake was and her wish that she had thought to save some to share.

Lunar New Year Causes People To Say "Monkey" A Lot.

The 2004 Chinese New Year was celebrated this week. Last year, 2003 was the Year of the Ram, and this year, 2004 is the Year of the Monkey. This has caused folks to use the word "monkey" almost to excess.

This problem is not expected during celebration of the 2009 Lunar New Year, the Year of the Physeter Macrocephalus.

Local Bear Now A Father

Ba'ar and JasonIt has come to the attention of @Action News that one of our locals is now a father! Ba'ar, local bear, has adopted a son. Jason, the cutest bear cub in town (at least in his father's estimation,) joined Ba'ar on January 15th and was first seen in the Rose Garden on January 20th. Ba'ar, local bear, is quoted as saying.."I was happy here, but I felt incomplete. Jason has helped me fill the void."

Photo Feature

2001 A Space OtterseyShortly after gathering about the Monolith, one of these Asian shortclawed otters tossed a fish into the air, which turned into a spaceship to the Moon. NASA administrator Sean O'Keefe later announced this would be their plan for the Return to the Moon.'

Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
Why did Jiffy get 666 as a connect number? That's neat. How can I get one?
Signed, A curious fur.

Dear Curious Fur:
It's simple, he sold his soul to the devil. Sell yours to the devil and you'll get one as well.

Dear Bearing Up:
Can I ask you a question?
Curious Cougar

Dear Curious:
You just did.

Dear Bearing Up:
Why can't we put all the bears on one iceberg and sink it?
Evil Wallaby

Dear Evil Wallaby:
Because then the world would be UNBEARABLE, that's why.

Dear Bearing Up,
My room mate is a louse. She never does any dishes, she leaves the bathroom a mess, and always pays her rent late. What should I do?
Sick and Tired.

Dear Sick and Tired:
Kick her out. Your house will then be de-louse-d.

Dear Bearing Up:
My back hurts, but being a centaur I can't find a big enough heating pad. What should I do?

Dear Argon:
My best recommendation is for you to sew a few horse blankets together and put them into the dryer for an hour or two. That will provide the perfect heating pad for you.

Dear Bearing Up,
Which is the better surround sound system, Dolby or Pro Logic?

Dear Nipper:
Neither, THX.

Dear Bearing Up:
What's the deal with the tomatoes in Big O?
R. Roger Smith

Dear R. Roger Smith:
What's the deal with you having too much time on your hands?

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey. This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News suggested by Gilead. The question is, " "If you could be any brand of soft drink, what would you be?" "

  • Butterfluff will be SoBe, in spite of the bugs.
  • Jiffy chatters, "I'd be the rare kind that you'd be afraid to drink, so you save it in the back of your fridge for all eternity."
  • Findra -- I'd be Irn Bru. It's made in Scotland. From girders. And I bet no-one over here has ever heard of it.
  • Ba'ar -- I would be Root Ba'ar, of course.
  • Adara -- I'd be Coke, because I love the Coca Cola polar bear!
  • Brenda says, "IBC (I Be Cougar) Root Beer!"
  • Borris says, "Jolt Cola!"
  • Mouser hisses, "Inka Kola. It's real--you get it at Peruvian chicken joints..."
  • PatchO'Black mews, "Soder Cola, the soft drink of choice in the DC comics universe!"
  • Slug clicks, "Soylent Green. The secret ingredient is not people(R)."
  • Kinsor skriters, "I'll take Upsie Cola, the drink you can drink while standing on your head!"
  • Austin says, "Well, if it comes to that, then I'll take being the abstract concept of A&W Root Beer, Argon. I've long wanted to be an abstraction."
  • Roland says, "Argon. I would be Slurm. Highly addictive and possibly radioactive."
  • Terry -- "Vernors. Mmm."
  • Lupinetiger wurfs, "Mountain Dew."
  • Lorvaro says,"I would be.. Something with lots of caffinee in it like the DnL made by 7up."
  • Joe thinks for awhile before concluding, "I'd be a bottle of 'Turkey' flavor'd Jones Soda."
  • Ayame would be A&W root beer, because it's sweet but not too sweet, and, well - it just tastes good.
  • Terra -- I'd be Squirt!

The Doze Garden

Proper signage is found to be important.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News