@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.


Dr. DernAustin Dern, local Coati and Head Wiz, proudly announced this week that he has received his Doctorate of Philosophy, Mathematics.

As we all know, Austin has been working a long time to achieve this accomplishment. Although most of us cannot know the time, effort and determination he has poured into this, we can certainly celebrate his achieving his goal. With the skills he has displayed here on SpinDizzy, it should be no surprise that his thesis was approved, and he was awarded a Ph. D.

It is a wonder that he has been able to apply himself to such a task while keeping active on SpinDizzy, and keeping things running normally. Austin posted his thanks to everyone on SpinDizzy for helping him keep his sanity during this time. And he is proud to answer to the Honorarium, 'Dr. Dern'.

Congratulations, Austin!

Where's The Acorns? Part III

Before.The Equine Oak Tree, (What The Oak Wood Equine Team call Rick's ailment) was a problem that had befallen Rick, local Centaur, here at SpinDizzy. You see, Rick had at one time had a medium sized Oak tree growing out of his Equine back, and it was very heavy, awkward to carry, and just a big pain, according to Rick. Rick added, "It was such a burden to me that I could not get a good night's sleep, Anywhere I went I left a trail of acorns, and going under anything that was shorter than the Oak tree was out of the question."

The Oak Wood Equine Team is made up of Doctors, Veterinarians, and Arborists. They have studied Rick's aliment very thoroughly and have come to some conclusions:
1. Rick's problem was not contagious, so there was no worry about others contracting anything like this.
2.The Oak tree growing out of his back was the result of Rick eating an apple, that he had pulled out of the Ancient Oak tree in the Rose Garden (no one know how Rick was able to do this and it is still a mystery to the Team of Scientists) and ate the whole apple seeds and all.
3.Having eaten the apple seeds, they then germinated inside of Rick and sprouted a small Oak tree on his Equine back, which grew in a remarkably small time.

Rick had been trying to get rid of the Oak tree since the day it started to grow out of his lower back. There were many helpful suggestions on how to get rid of the Oak tree. Some would have gotten rid of Rick also. The suggestions included everything from dynamite, to poisoning the tree, to pulling the Oak tree out, to cutting it down. Rick politely turned down all these suggestions, saying that although these would do the job, they would hurt him very badly, and so these suggestion were discarded.

Rick, to his delight, thinking that he would be stuck for life with a Oak tree on his Equine back, woke up one morning to find that the tree had somehow fallen off his lower back roots and all. Rick had this to say about his experience of having a Oak tree on his back, "It was painful and irritating having all these stupid acorns falling and hitting me in the head all the time. Boy, I'm glad that tree is off my back now."

Rick did not say what he plans on doing next now that he's lost the Oak tree, but he did have this to say, "What ever you do, don't eat an apple out of the Ancient Oak tree or you will end up like I was, with a Oak tree on your back."

Setting a 'Going Home' Message

Phil Collins Song.Time to gohome!

The help file for gohome is cleverly concealed as "look gohome"

The message you probably want to set is the @osuccess -- the message that others see as you leave.
@set me=_gohome/osucc:<message> is the format. Remember, the muck will put your name in front of your @osuccess message. If you aren't sure if you have it right, ask a friend to watch you gohome.

The other messages you can set are:

  • @set me=gohome/succ: <Message you see as you leave for home>
  • @set me=gohome/drop <Message you see as you arrive home>
  • @set me=gohome/odrop <Message those in your home see as you arrive> (This message also has your name in front of it, automatically.)

Now you can gohome in style!

Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets

I am NOT a footstool!Friday night, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie. As usual with me being as big as a Horse, I lay down in the handicapped space. The sound there is usually bad, and tonight was no exception.

First, it's not as good as the first movie because there are no Centaurs in it. Ronan, who saved Harry from Voldemort in the first film, (And book) does not appear, nor is referred to. Although the same is true of the book, I was hoping maybe he'd make an appearance. John Cleese, as Nearly Headless Nick returns for a few scenes. Oh well.

Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is a Wizard, the son of Parents who used Magic. His parents were killed when he was a baby, so He grew up in the world of 'Muggles', people who don't use Magic. Living with his Aunt and Uncle, (Oliver Phelps and Julie Walters) his heritage was hidden from him. He eventually is invited to Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If you need more information on Harry's history, read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

This film starts during the break between Harry's first and second years at Hogwart's. He is home with his very straight laced, 'no such thing as Magic' Aunt and Uncle. He gets a visit from Dobby, a CGI 'House Elf' (Voiced by Toby Jones) that is a great character. He takes far more abuse than he deserves (An issue which is addressed in later books.) and is a pivotal part of the story. Camparisons between Dobby and Jar Jar Binks are inevitable, but I'd take Dobby over Jar Jar any day. Anyway, Dobby warns Harry that he must not return to Hogwart's, that if he does he will not return. But because they want another 120 minutes of movie, Harry goes anyway.

He and his friend Ron Weasly (Rupert Grint) take a flying car ride and return to Hogwart's. There, we are reintroduced to Albus Dumbledore (Richard Harris in his last film performance.) and the rest of the faculty and staff of Hogwart's where Harry and his friends, Hermione Granger, (Emma Watson) who, due to a spell gone wrong is briefly seen as an Anthropomorphic Cat, are faced with Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton), Professor Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) and the new Professor of Dark Arts, Gilderoy Lockhart (Kenneth Branagh) All are involved in a search about and for The Chamber of Secrets. What's in the chamber? Well, you'll figure it out.

This film is a bit darker than the first, but there is a little more humor too. The John Williams Soundtrack is excellent and the special effects are outstanding. Because we don't get the background of everyone, it moves a little faster. A hint though, if you don't like Snakes, Spiders or Cornish Pixies, you might cringe at a few scenes. I'm not a fan of Snakes or Spiders, but their creepiness factor didn't overwhelm me. There is a nice cameo by a couple of Coatis in one scene, and Lemurs in another.

All in all it was a good film. Not a date movie unless your date has kids. Worth the price for the preview of Kangaroo Jack. Be sure and sit through the credits, there's a cute scene at the very end!

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.Argon told folks, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News. The question this week is, 'What do you think Austin's thesis is about?'

  • Drake says, "Something past Cold Fusion, Argon.... Lukewarm Fusion! :)"
  • Snowdrop hrms and rubs her chin gently. "The virtues of Peanut Butter!"
  • Butterfluff says, "Multidimensional stacking of constant variables and variable constants."
  • Cye says, "Why the bread always land butter side down."
  • Gilead chirps, "Fractal growth of rhime ice after a typical Troy, NY freezing rainstorm."
  • Natasha says, "An answer to the question 'Who's that playing the guitar?'"
  • Kinsor -- "I think his thesis, is about how "it just don't add up" these days. Or, possibly a thesis on finding low cost air fare for his advisor."
  • Rick says, "Math, what else, Argon"
  • PatchO'Black mews, "The mathematics of coatiness."
  • Ba'ar growls, "The theory of relativity..in which your relatives cause all the problems in your life?"
  • Lamar yaps, "Is the title of his disertation 'The squishyness of coati forms in four dimensional space'?"
  • Vixie says, "It's probably a thesis on the impact and implications of Peanuts on our society in the 21st century."
  • Tottle says, "The Ramifications of Faster-Than-Light Travel on Current Geo-Political Stability and Small Round Objects That Go 'Poing'."
  • Suri says, "The Pointiness of Vortices."
  • Carlos -- In answer to your question, his thesis was "Vhan, vhan coati, tooh, tooh coatis. (Tree! Three vanderful coatis!")
  • Lavender writes down, "More than likely, it's about something I don't understand."
  • Flutterz hrmz. S'thesis bein' about s'wobbliness! Yerp!
  • Mouser hisses, "Spindizzy Field Theory..."
  • Cubbi says, "Spindizzy Forest Theory?"
  • Adara purrs, "or, 'how to make furs smell like skunks!' =P"
  • Casimir says, "...Balto II, Argon?"
  • Adara purrs, "I have one! 'How to brew evil wallabys to make medicine'"

The actual answer to the question, according to Dr. Dern is that the survey is about, "...168 pages, counting introduction and table of contents."

Revealed! The Secret Of Pirate DREADness!

S'Mints!Ever get that feeling where you want to be kind to people? To rescue stray animals from trees? Hand out lollipops to small children just for the pleasure of seeing the happy smile on their faces?

Yes, at some time or other most people have the urge to be wooly and sentimental. But now you no longer need to suffer the indignities of demeaningly cute or distressingly sentimental actions with new S'MINTs(tm)!

Yes, S'MINTs! Packed with more minty nastiness than you can shake a rapier at, they can turn even the most fluffy headed fur into a sharp-tongued hyperactive ball of swashbuckling bad-temper. Now with Xylitol for that Instant DREADness(tm).

Flutterz, who used to be a simple flower fae, has used the power of S'MINTs for over two years now, and recommends them for everyone! "S'bein' ver' pow-er-ful! S'be startin' s'feelin' s'wings droopin', jest be poppin' couple in s'muzzle. Or better s'all of 'em! ZRRRP! S'instant DREADness! Yerp!" warbled the fae.

Buy S'MINTs today! It's like a smack in the mouth with every one!

(Contact dreadpiratefaeenterprises@spindizzy.muck for bulk shipping)

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News