November 3, 2002
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Morticon Placed On Trial "Just to be Sure"
Morticon, head of the Society of Evil Doers, was brought to court Tuesday before Judge Adara, who unsuccessfully attempted to hold him to answer for no specific charge. The unusual procedure, prosecutors said, was justified by their confidence he must have some foul deeds in the works. In his defense Morticon repeatedly asserted he was not planning any evil at the moment, a claim ultimately successful in keeping him from an immediate full trial.
"You want us to believe you aren't assembling a force of robots to replace all our leading citizens and overthrow society?" prosecution argued.
"I'm not doing anything like that," he said.
"You haven't tried mastering the magic spells that would give you power over air and water, holding these things essential for life ransom?"
Morticon shook no at this new allegation.
"Do you have a freeze ray," prosecution asked, "which you hope will encase us all in blocks of ice until we submit to your will?"
"I do not," answered Morticon.
"Are you building a time machine to snatch the young Peppermint from out of her past and take her place, creating an alternate timeline in which you're easily able to dominate Skyler and Austin Dern?"
Morticon, taking notes, again shook no.
After prosecutors petitioned the court to make Morticon "give us a hint already," and offered Morticon the chance to take "time served" against whatever future sentence he did receive, Judge Adara ruled no prima facie case had been made. Prosecutors argued he had almost certainly committed something and they should proceed "just to be sure we don't miss something," but Adara was unswayed. She suspended the case until a specific known evil action had been committed.
Prosecutors took the setback in stride, noting the case had been suspended rather than dismissed and that it was itself a victory that Adara had conceded what they termed their central point, that "he has to be up to something."
Asked if he would get us all next time, Morticon said, "I wasn't trying to get you this time!" He refused to specifically swear venegence or to make us all pay.
Jellicle Levels Strong, Argon Still Remains Out Of Touch
Residents of SpinDizzy have much to be thankful for. We have, thanks to the efforts of Patch O'Black, local Jellicle Cat, consistantly high levels of Jellicleness in our community. This can be attributed to the tireless and selflessness of Patch's singing and dancing to keep this important part of our environment well stocked. In the Rose Garden particulary, Jellicle levels are being kept high, even in the current climate of economic downturn. Patch O'Black attributes this to keeping up a routine of singing and dancing, and with the help of his lovely wife, Nikon, who is a part-time Jellicle Cat, sees no reason currently that would signal a change in future Jellicle levels.'
Even so, Argon, local Centaur has been found to be a dork when it comes to popular culture. After asking Patch O'Black, local Jellicle Cat to explain some aspect of 'Jellicleness't, it was determined that the Centaur was unfamiliar with the show 'Cats'.
Patch, soewhat taken about by Argon's lack of knowledge of this aspect of popular culture commented. "Oh, my! And how long were you held prisoner, out of touch with civiliztion? I had no idea you suffered so...=^_^="
Argon has been looking for a copy of the soundtrack at the local Dollar Store outlets and Pet Shelters.
The Way Of A Fluff With An Egg, Part 1
General note: I cook with almost no salt, so add salt as you feel necessary.
Simple fried eggs.I highly recommend you get a non-stick pan. The eggs might still stick, but it will be much easier to clean off. If you find a truly non-stick pan, get me the brand name.
I don't usually have bacon around -- it spoils much faster than eggs do, so I buy them at the same time, and cook the bacon gone first. But you can always buy it and freeze it, either raw or cooked, in small batches.
Use a medium setting on your stove. Things burn too easily on high settings -- unlike water, eggs are not fluid enough to disperse the heat evenly.
Heat the pan with butter/margarine. I do not recommend normal cooking oil. Don't burn the butter, but make sure it is liquid.
I am a bit of a klutz, so I break the eggs into a bowl instead of the pan irectly -- that way I do not get my fingers singed getting the eggshells out.
The easiest eggs are a variety of scrambled. While they are in the bowl, add a bit of water, and stir them thoroughly with a fork, then pour them into the pan. Stir them around a bit, until they are cooked. Dish them up!
Sunny side up are my favorite. I slide the unbroken eggs into the pan, move the pan around enough that the butter gets on top of the whites, but the yolks are almost uncooked. This is not considered healthy by some people. Oh, well. I like to dunk bread into the yolks, too, once they are on my plate. My parents always hated me doing that. Tough.
Over easy is easier -- you are not trying to keep the yolks intact. Let the eggs mostly cook on the bottom, then flip them over. Squish carefully to break the yolks. Let it cook a short while (longer for over hard), then plate.
Over hard makes the best egg sandwiches.
Omelettes are closely related to scrambled eggs. First, assemble the ingredients. I like cheese, ham, mushrooms, salsa, green peppers, onions. If you use onions or green peppers, you want to cut them into tiny bits and cook them up before you put them in the omelette. The ham and the cheese should also be slightly warmed. Mushrooms can be cooked or raw as you like.
Other possibilities are sausages of various types (cooked and warmed), sprouts, cooked rice, cooked potatoes or other cooked vegetables. Almost anything you would put on a pizza can go into an omlette.
Beat the eggs with a bit of water until they are somewhat frothy. Pour the eggs into the pan, tilting the pan until the inside is coated.
Put in your fillings. I should only put them on one side of the pan, to make a prettier finished product, but I am greedy. Make sure the cheese does not touch the pan.
When the egg is mostly cooked, slide your spatula under one edge and lift it to cover one half of the omelette with the other.
Give it a minute or so to jell, then slide it onto a plate.
Potatoes in eggs deserve special mention. They increase the chance of sticking to a pan, but are filling. You can vary the taste by browning large chunks of pre-cooked potatoes ahead of time, or just add instant mashed potatoes to the egg mixture. They work especially well with onions and peppers.
If you use a large potato to egg ratio, you need to really watch for sticking.
Rice sticks like potatoes do. But it's a nice way to use up leftover rice from last night's Chinese take-out. (Make a egg-and-Chinese-vegetable mix, and you are on the way to Egg Foo Yung.)
Eggs do not generally work in a microwave, unless you scramble them really well. Then, you have to re-scramble them halfway through cooking. Potatoes mixed with eggs are fairly good microwaved.
Again, watch out - this stuff is not easy to get off the cookware.
Vote November 5th
Be Sure To Vote!
No matter what party you like, or don't like, no matter whether you're a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, or Furry Conservative Liberal, be sure to
VOTE TUESDAY NOVEMBER 5TH!
If you don't vote, don't complain. Make your voice heard!
Argon told folks, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News. The question this week, suggested by Gilead is, "What would you do if I sang out of tune?"
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Letters To The Editor
I understand that you are a centaur. Do you wear horseshoes? Does it hurt to have then nailed onto your feet?
I do wear horseshoes, or as my fiance calls them, 'Centaurshoes'. Although I am often teased because of my insistance that Centaurs are 'Horse-like but not like a Horse', I don't mind calling them horseshoes because that's what they are, they just aren't on a Horse.
As far as having them nailed on, no it doesn't hurt at all. As they are nailed onto the bottom of my hooves, which are nothing more than really big thick toenails, I don't feel it all all.
Thanks for asking!
Editor, @Action News
The Doze Garden
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Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to email@example.com or qmail or page Argon about it.
Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News