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Argon -- Editor

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Cye Is A Witch?

Vixen on broom.Thurday night, Cye, local 50 foot Vixen, was put on trial for being a witch by Morticon who claimed she turned him into an evil Wallaby by a hex long ago using time travel. Cye responded to this charge saying that the accusation was, "...total bull (excrement)."

This ridiculous charge somehow made it through the process and was brought to court Thursday evening. The trial was presided over by Judge Adara, local Cat, who refused to allow TV coverage of the trial, but determined that it would be held publicly in the Rose Garden so that the huge crowd of interested spectators could be accomadated. The Plantiff, Morticon, local evil Wallaby, was represented by Arkitah, local Ark, and Cye's defence was presented by Argon, local Centaur.

Arkitah attempted a strong prosecution in spite of Morticon's attempts to handle his own case. But his efforts were marred by Arkitah's constant verbal meanderings and his walking in and out of the proceedings. Arkitah's inability to follow proper Courtroom etiquette finally caused Judge Adara to request Balif Effsey to stuff the prosecution's representative's mouth with a sock and then sit on him.

Argon put up a rousing defence which clearly and logically destroyed Morticon's credibity, character, and case. Argon clearly disproved Morticon's claim that Cye had changed him into a Wallaby by first determining that Cye had come to SpinDizzy, and met Morticon six months ago, and then producing a copy of @Action News dated Sunday, August 27, 2000 which proved that at time, Morticon was already in fact, a Wallaby. The prosecution, seemingly stunned by this evidence, ceased to pursue the time travel aspect of it's charge.

After much deliberation the Judge found for Cye saying that Morticion's case and charges had no credibity or merit and determined that he must pay Cye 2,000 shinies for wasting the Court's time.

Morticion is considering an appeal.

Rose Garden Rescued from SED HQ Construction Project!

SED Construction sign?Earlier this week, Cye (local giant vixen), PatchO'Black (local Jellicle Cat), and Adara (local non-morphic cat) foiled an evil plot by Morticon (local evil wallaby) to turn the Rose Garden into the new SED HQ.

While Adara distracted Morticon by arguing against the construction project, Cye was attempting to make someone else her size by a process known as 'macroing'. Cye's aim was off, however, and she accidentally made PatchO'Black her size rather than her intended target.

The two giant furs decided that they should use this mistake to their advantage, so PatchO'Black picked up the evil wallaby while he was in a heated argument with Adara. PatchO'Black asked nicely if Morticon would stop the construction project and return things to the way they were, but Morticon vehemently refused the request. Cye and PatchO'Black decided to play 'hardball' with Morticon, literally! The wallaby finally caved in when he realized the two were quite serious about tossing him back and forth. A few days later, the Rose Garden looked as it always had.

Why Morticon wanted the Rose Garden location as his new headquarters was not disclosed, though I'm the sure the reader can reach their own conclusions.

From The Journal of Captain Bayhab

Sinking of Bayhab's ship.Aye, many tales have I heard of the elusive floating island. It is said there resides a race of little men on this island, and that these are guardians of a legendary ancient treasure with the power to grant wishes.

I did not believe these tales, at first… we sailors are skeptical folk, we are. Why, just last month I heard that the Saint Blasphemous was sunken by the pirates. We wise seafaring folk know how dangerous jumping to hearsay can be. Oh, that ship was probably just destroyed by a few passing mermaids.

Anyway… after my ship, The Madame Blasé, sank during a freak storm, I drifted for ages hanging onto a piece of my beloved craft. I found my way into a region known only as the Rose Garden. This strange place was populated by demons from myth and legend, including even the infamous centaur. I found ways to hide from sight and cover my sight so that I might steal the material necessary to build a boat and get home. While resting just out of sight from these demons, I saw the floating island with my own eye.

It was not an island like the old tales said, but a giant turtle. There was indeed a race of Lilliputians on his shell, but I did not see them for long. They wiped themselves out in a terrible war over, of all things, a giant marshmallow.

Some of these creatures escaped the destruction of their world by fleeing into the Rose Garden and building a colony. Even these fortunate Lilliputians still had some trials to undergo, however.

Adara the Talking Cat invaded their village. The Lilliputians fled into an underground bunker and unleashed everything on Adara from machine guns to the air force, but they could not drive Adara off. Or, rather, they could not drive Adara off until the raiding cat lost interest in the settlement.

Alicia provided the villagers with escape pods and mini-gundams so that they may escape. It was also Alicia who suggested that the giant turtle take a bath to clear his shell of debris and help nourish the dead soil. As an added bonus, the bath also quenched a newly formed volcano.

Once the turtle finished his bath, the colonists returned to their homeland to flee the farther wrath of the aliens in this strange land and to repair the damage done by that terrible war.

Royce Notified Of Raccoon Mention In "Peanuts" Comic Strip

Snoopy and Woodstock.A bit of wordplay in the Classic Peanuts strip printed Tuesday, August 20 mentioning Raccoons was brought to the attention of Royce, dean of the SpinDizzy Raccoon community, many times over this week by friends of the Raccoon concerned he may have missed the mention of his favorite species.

In the strip, Lucy van Pelt asks brother Linus what he is drawing; Linus explains, over the course of three panels, "You know what a cocoon is, don't you? And you know what a Raccoon is, don't you? Well, this is a picture of a Raccoon asleep in his raccocoon!" Lucy visibly grimaced at Linus's wordplay, While Linus is shown drawing, the results of his drawing are not depicted.

As of press time Royce estimates receiving 1798 pages, page-mails, e-mails, whispers, and direct statements refering to the strip, which is (for the next month) archived at the Peanuts web site. Based on past experiences with comic strips that mention Raccoons, Royce expects approximately another 240 notifications of the strip before it passes out of the archive.

Though Royce had seen the comic strip in the paper before logging in to receive any of these notices, he appreciated the heads-up, and smiled happily as this reporter asked him about the comic. He noted that Raccoons do not ordinarily sleep in "raccocoons," but he was willing to give it a try.

Centaurs; Human, Or Horse?

Argon on beach. Centaurs, the Human/Equine hybrids seen around SpinDizzy are often compared to Horses. This is natural as, at least for the 'classic' type of Centaur, at least four-fifths of their form looks like a Horse. Just to clarify for those unfamiliar with Centaurs, they are beings who have an Equine, or Horse body, but in place of the neck and head of a Horse have the head, arms, and torso of a Human. The hips of the torso joining the Equine body at the Equine shoulders. To those of you still unsure of just what a Centaur is, look to the image of me on the left. You may click on it to make it larger. The purpose of this article to explore the range of 'Horsiness' in Centaurs. This discussion only pertains to the 'classic' Human/Equine Centaurs. There are other types of 'Taurs, Chacats, Hextaurs etc, but I'm not going to explore their Animal/Human aspects here.

Every 'classic' Centaur has an Equine lower body, but just like any group of folks, Centaurs range in size, coloration, personality, and 'Horse like attributes', particullarly of their Human portion. As you can see from my picture above, my torso, with the exception of the hair growing down the center of my back, (my mane) is very much Human. Bartending Centaur.I would say if you saw me as I usually am, dressed, behind a bar, you'd be hard pressed to find anything about me that looks unusual. Well, except for the fact that I stand eight and a half feet tall. But as you see in the cartoon this particular Centaur looks like a perfectly normal Human from the Equine shoulders up. So what are the physical variables that make a Centaur look more 'Horse Like'?

Some of the Equine attributes that make their way to the Human aspect of some Centaurs are a mane, Horse style ears, Unicorn horns, whinnying or other 'Horse Like' attributes in their speech, and in some cases, facial features that resemble those of a Horse, among others.Centaur with Horse style ears and Unicorn horn. In my observations, it seems that the mjority of Centaurs have more Equine attributes than I do. But the question is, do these attributes make the Centaurs who have them more or less 'Horse like'? Are these attributes merely physical, or is there a mental component as well? What portion of these mental changes, if any can be credited to the physical change of form, and does the change in form, or the form itself have an effect on the mental attitude and 'instincts' if you will, of the Centaur?

Centaurs have a wide range of 'Horse like' personality traits. From those like myself, who claim to "Not be at all like a Horse," to those who whinny or nicker when the speak, refuse to wear Horse shoes, and who have less control over their instinctual urges. Being born as, or transformed into a Centaur seems to have little bearing on the amount of the resulting Equine attributes. Some transformees are more like Horses with Human attributes, and some born Centaurs seem to be Humans with Equine attributes, and some of both types have varying degrees of either.

So to claim that all Centaurs are like Horses is a false statement, at least if you can get past the obvious physical resemblances. It's true, some Centaurs are more like Horses than others, but no Centaur can be mistaken for a Horse. As I have often said, "I am a Centaur. I have aspects of both Man and Equine, yet physically I am neither. I combine the best attributes of both. The poise, grace, strength, and balance of a Horse, the intelligence, dexterity, and morality of a Man combined into a form that is both, yet neither. I am not a Man attached to a Horse, nor a Horse growing out of a Man. I do not have Human or Horse parts. Both aspects are combined into a single being whose aspects flow smoothly from one to another to form a Centaur. I am not forced to follow the instinctual actions of a Horse. I do not lust after female Horses, I do not eat grass or hay, and I do not exhibit 'arousal' uncontrollably. I am a Centaur, not a Horse. If the obvious intellectual differences between a Horse and myself are not obvious, the glaring physical differences should be. If you cannot see the differences at a glance, you are either blind, or ignorant. I hope such ignorance can be eliminated." Of course, this statement refers to myself. Some Centaurs do some of the things mentioned, but no Centaur can be mistaken for a Horse. If you care to see more images, and learn more about Centaurs, you might want to start your explorations at Centaursite.com. Be sure to check out the links page on the site to find other websites about Centaurs.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon asked folks, "I'm doing a survey suggested by Whitesilk to be published in @Action News. The question is, 'How would you think the world would end?'

  • Whitesilk smiles, and curls her antennae. << Thank you. In case I am not around to answer that when you choose to use it, my answer is: Annihilation resultant from inability to compromise. >>
  • Arkitah chitters, "The world will end a few minutes after the last humans pause and think, "This is impossible! How could this happen in our lifetime?" Then humans will wipe themselves out leaving a hole at the top of the food chain. This hole will be filled by a race of sentient insects that live in an ant-like society. "
  • Tarka says, "The world will end when I turn everyone else into a fish and gordge myself!"
  • Gilead chirps, "Otters will secretly achieve sapiency, and consume pretty much all of humanity for polluting the oceans. Then they'll rapidly develop stardrives, and go to find alien fish to eat on some other planet."
  • Terry puffs, "The world will end when it reaches its destination and we break it down for parts to build the colony."
  • Carlos parseltongues, "The world will end with scrolling down credits."
  • Rick says, "When the world finlly runs out of gas and everyone has to get out and push.
  • Morticon -- It would end when an army of wallabies, commanded by me, take over. The world will then begin again under my superior rule.
  • Shoe says, "I think it will just end and we will all go somewhere else."
  • Gina_Doberman says, "It would end due to being closed down on account of bankruptcy!"
  • Whitesilk telepaths, << I think the Spindizzy will reach a fabulous new world and crash-land, and become part of the new worlds' landscape. >>
  • Cye says, "I proably just get to big for this place and crush it and everyone would have to move onto me :)"
  • Mouser hisses, "Microsoft will bundle WinMUCK in with Windows 2005 and we'll be drowned in former AOL chat geeks..."
  • Hefon rumbles, "When I wake up."
  • Drake says, "The world will end when a Cosmic Space Broker stubs his toe on it, Argon. :)"
  • Suri says, "Osama bin Losin' will calculate the natural resonant frequency of the planet. He'll sit out in the wilds of Afghanistan somewhere in a cave, with a stick, and hit the floor in time with the frequency. *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* Eventually he'll pump the resonant wave to the point where the Earth breaks apart..."
  • Ark says, "Attack of the 50 Foot Delta Burke!"
  • Nimble chitters quietly, "Not with a bang..."
  • Sunni says, "with a Burp"
  • Flutterz -- S'world be endin' at s'hands of s'toddlerthingies. Yerp!
  • Darwin -- I think the world will end with a bang.

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News