@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

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Neopolis Spray Painted!

Earlier this week the whole of Neopolis was defaced with spray paint. No one has stepped forward as a witness leading many to believe it was done late at night and covertly. The graffiti ranged from harmless shapes and color blobs to angry words and vulgar imagery. The entire city was spray painted in the time frame of a few hours suggesting that more than one individual did the crime.

City cleanup crews got to work as soon as residents began waking up and finding their businesses and homes defaced. Later that evening everyone was relieved to find the city looked normal again.

If you have any information regarding the perpetrator(s), please contact the Neopolis city police department.

Skyler Again Pair Of Slippers; Carried Off, Buried By Scruffy

Skyler, popular lemony wizard, has returned to one of the most beloved yet odd shapes seen on Spindizzy. Following a brief excursion into the large, puffy, and it turns out magical tail of Nimble, popular squirrel or bunny-squirrel creature, Skyler was able to shed himself of such extraneous luxuries as his ears, nose, tail, arms, legs, paws, feet, and body, and instead concentrate on being two cute bunny slippers.

Skyler's new career as footwear has gotten off to a rousing start, with the rabbit slippers being often worn, used as impromptu puppets, or just being allowed to scurry off under the benches or settling into the path of someone hurrying off and thus being made to stumble.

An impromptu game of catch with Austin, local coati, and Scruffy, local coyote, using one of the Skylers as the object to be caught, was ended after the first time Scruffy retrieved the tossed Skyler, and then carried the slipper off to an unoccupied corner of the Rose Garden. Scruffy then dug a small hole, dropped the Skyler in, and covered it up. The action was repeated with the other slipper. Though both Skylers were quickly retrieved, they have expressed a clear desire to not play catch any more.

This is not the first time the rabbit has become a mobile inanimate object, as long-time regulars recall he became a pair of slippers for a short but well-received while on Toons, Furr, and Fluff. His resumption of this plush lifestyle has been welcomed, with comments like "Oh, good, I always liked you as slippers," "Ooh, neat ... uh, do you think you're one person or two?", and "You mean he stopped being slippers? When did that happen?"

The living slippers are enjoying life as soft, felt objects and look forward to new challenges, including fitting on centaur hooves, kangaroo feet, and perhaps someday taking a ride in the washing machine and dryer.

Passive Voice Mars Use Of Future Perfect Continuous Tense

In a severe blow to the linguistic credibility of the wizards, Managing Editor Austin Dern's comments to a crowd in the Rose Garden addressed, correctly, in the future perfect continuous tense, nevertheless succumbed to the passive voice, testing the patience and interest of his listeners.

The comment, made while discussing television programming for the August 9 Singapore National Day celebrations, referred to traditional Singaporean children's programs as "Transformers: The Movie," "The Land Before Time," "An American Tale," and "The Nutcracker Suite" and said by the time he expected to finish some picture-taking "they will have been being shown all afternoon."

In an apology following the discovery of the grammatic catastrophe, Austin noted, "I clearly should have said, 'they will have been shown all afternoon,' and not forced you all to wade through the useless text." He said he will have had to be more attentive in the future.

The programs did air August 9, as scheduled. Austin's photographs were not as many as he meant to take, but covered the important subjects, and revealed the location of a Popeye's Fried Chicken franchise and several video CDs of Popeye cartoons.

Where's The Acorns? Part II

Picture of Rick with oak tree growing out of his backA strange occurrence has befallen Rick local centaur. Rick was the one who was seen eating apples that he pulled out of the Ancient Oak tree located in the Rose Garden. Rick now has what appears to be a large Oak tree growing out of his Equine back. The Oak tree seems to have reproduced itself on Rick.

Looking closely at this tree you will see that its just a ordinary Oak tree with canopy of green leaves, thick branches, and acorns (no apples mind you). Occasionally one will fall on Rick's head causing him to rub his head and say "Ow"! Researchers, who began studying both Rick and the Ancient Oak last week when he was pulling apples out of it, are baffled at this occurrence.

This team, The Oak Wood Equine Team or TOWET, as they call themselves, includes Doctors, Veterinarians, and Aborists. They have done tests on Rick and are watching to see if anything more happens to him. One thing the researchers do agree on is that Rick's problem is not contageous and there is no need to worry about catching any air born viruses from standing too close to him.

TOWET were considering cutting down the tree and then surgically removing the stump from Rick's back, but this proposal was cut short (no pun intended) by Rick saying no way was his Oak tree was coming down. Rick expressed concern that cutting the tree down might hurt him physically, since the Oak tree was growing out of him. TOWET have put aside their plans for removal of the Oak tree for now. Whether or not the team does find a way to free Rick, his predicament remains. For now Rick has become accustomed to having an Oak tree growing out of his lower back.

When asked to comment on his predicament, Rick had one thing to say, "Please for the love of Johnny Apple Seed, please, oh please don't eat any apples from the Ancient Oak tree or you will end up like me. Sob!!!":

Time will only tell if Rick and his Oak tree will be seperated. Hopefully the researchers will find a way to free him from this very large problem.

Smurfs Plot to Take Over Spin Dizzy

There can only be one logical explanation for the flying rogue sputniks that frequently transport SpinDizzyonites to the Rose Garden. Communists have infiltrated Spin Dizzy.

A secret spy camera that I set up reveals secret Smurf activity in the Rose Garden after every single character has gone to sleep. The nasty creatures climbed out from a secret chamber within the fountain with all sorts of gadgets and technological toys. The wicked gruff of their patriarch, Papa Smurf, was also recorded.

“It is a good thing you developed those rogue sputniks, Engineer Smurf. With all those creatures sleeping here in the Rose Garden, our efficiency in project Find Secret Weaknesses (FSW) has reached an all time high.”

Next week I plan to infiltrate the Smurf’s Evil Secret Headquarters.

Salem Kitty Making Great Recovery

Salem, local KItty was hurt in an accident several weeks ago. Many folks here on SpinDizzy, and other places have been concerned of course, and have been keeping track of his progress. Some have had the opportunity to visit him in person.

It is reported that Salem is doing very well. He is up and walking around, and says he expects to be back on line soon. The website to send him good wishes is still up and can be accessed here.

Just before press time, it was reported that Salem is out of the hospital and staying with friends. He made a short visit to SpinDizzy, and I got to wish him well. He seems to be doing very well, all things considered. Yay!

Weekly Survey

This week, Argon asked folks, "I'm doing a survey, suggested by Morticon to be published in @Action News. The question is, 'Who do you THINK has the most alts?"

  • Gino writes "Rose"
  • PatchO'Black mews, "All we have to do and see who has the most answers in the paper, then we will know! =^_^="
  • Gilead chirps, "I'd answer, but then, which name would I use for her?"
  • Casimir huhrms, "Ikuri, I'd guess. There are at least...five, I think? More? Less?"
  • Flutterz warbles, "S'Flutterz not be knowin' 'bout alttypethingies. Nerp."
  • Flutterz grimbles at her player poking her. Ok, so there are a few alts.
  • Terry puffs, "Oh! I have a real answer. Mozdoc! You didn't say 'on this MUCK'."
  • Gilead guesses Rose. :-)
  • Drake hmmms. "I say Morticon. So he can have all those evil mini-onions. I mean, minions. :)"
  • Arkitah chitters, "Arkitah, of course. Arkitah by himself is at least four characters. I'm the best of his multiple personalities, by the way."
  • Rick says, "Gee, I would not know, there are so many Alts I can't tell who I am from one to the next."
  • Gina_Doberman says, "Probaly Olivia!"
  • Mouser hisses, "Maybe it's you, Argon...I've always had this nagging paranoia that all the centaurs here are played by the same person..."

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to argon@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.Ê