@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.

Mouser's Attack On Local Villagers Thwarted

“Hefon is a huge turtle with a race of tiny barbarians living on his shell, S’truth! I saw him myself, I did. (*hiccup!*)

“All sorts of strange things happen there, especially when creatures from beyond Hefon’s shell pay them a visit. It is a world of heroes, legendary monsters, and the most rowdy parties imaginable. It is a world of the brave Lightfoot and his sissy stalwarts (who run away at the first sign of danger every time).

“This story begins when a large sock fell mysteriously onto Hefon’s back. The little barbarians did not quite know what to make of most objects. Like most things that fall on their village after the barbarians had been drinking a little too much, the sock somehow ended up on fire. The barbarians had recently learned the art of roasting marshmallows. When the fire spread to the rest of the village, the barbarians began roasting marshmallows near their own burning houses!

“Hefon was not at all happy about this. He roared, ‘Those dratted barbarians set me on fire again!’

“Now, this strange place had inhabitants even more unusual than giant turtles with cities on their backs. A resident fursnake known as Mouser offered to help Hefon with his pest problem. Mouser climbed onto Hefon’s shell, and into a lush jungle paradise.

“Meanwhile, the villagers were still roasting marshmallows on what was left of their village.

“Mouser had his first encounter with the local wildlife. The giant avians are tiny by our standards, but quite big when compared to the average barbarian. At first it was just one curious bird that began pecking at Mouser. When Mouser became annoyed and tried to snap at it, even more birds came! These flying pests left Mouser alone only after he ignored them. The birds simply got bored and left.

"A small group of warriors heard Mouser’s approach and set out to investigate (the rest continued to roast marshmallows). When they found Mouser, he snarled and towered over the Lilliputian barbarians. The whole crowd dropped their spears and ran away screaming. The whole crowd, that is, except for the famous barbarian warrior known as Lightfoot.

“You shall not take my village, foul serpent!” The little creature called out to Mouser bravely, if somewhat shrilly.

“The giant serpent snapped at the barbarian hero, but he wasn’t called Lightfoot for nothing. Lightfoot hurled his spear as he fell back before Mouser’s blow. The spear was useless against Mouser. Lightfoot fell down onto a hard place, but he managed to get up quickly with one of his stalwart’s dropped spears.

“Mouser had already passed the fallen barbarian and entered their village. To his surprise, the village was already destroyed and apparently abandoned. What fun is it to get to be a monster if you don’t get to knock down any little buildings? No fun at all, I’ll tell ya that much. *hiccup*.

“Mouser turned away, and heard Lightfoot make a strange call. Thinking this to be a battle cry, Mouser was quick on the attack. He almost managed to grab Lightfoot, but the barbarian had a trick up his sleeve.

“The old ‘put a stick in the monster’s mouth’ trick might not be new to us, but you must consider that this is a primitive culture. Lucky for the barbarian, Lightfoot either got Mouser by surprise. Quicker than thought, Lightfoot vertically placed his spear in Mouser’s mouth. Lightfoot’s weapon was made of stronger stuff than other warrior’s (great heroes always need a legendary weapon, *hic*) so it was some time before Mouser could break it. Eventually he did.

“Lightfoot’s call was designed to summon one of the giant birds. He got on its back, and other barbarians on what must have looked like colorful gnats to Mouser joined in the battle. Even some kids showed up to throw stones. Mouser was about to attack the kids, but got distracted by the flying things. Soon, warriors on land joined in the battle. Their spears might have been weak, but Mouser was significantly outnumbered. The barbarians chased Mouser off Hefon’s shell, and rejoiced.

“Lightfoot, being your typical hero, took credit for the whole thing. All the other participants were left out of the story, and in his version he kills the serpent and single-handedly rebuilds the entire village in seven days. But I can assure you that Mouser is alive and well to this day and that Lightfoot did not help with the village’s reconstruction at all.

“And that was the true version of the famous Little Tall Tale, ‘Lightfoot and the Vicious Serpent.’ Which I more appropriately titled, ‘Lightfoot and his Big Ego’. The End.

SED HQ Destroyed!

The combination of Spindizzy residents trashing the SED HQ and the good Morticon wishing to rid himself of his evil possessions yielded a thoroughly destroyed compound earlier this week.

Morticon awoke to find most of the HQ was trashed and defaced from the open house. This gave him the idea to finish what the hooligans had started by blowing up the place. No word on what equipment was destroyed with the building or the status of the SED in general. Morticon is currently homeless and may be seen wandering the MUCK in search of a cubbyhole to sleep in at night.

Heigh-Ho Silver!

Arkitah and Suri revived a tarantula from certain death recently using some duct tape and WD-40. Gina Doberman had pulled said spider from the Oak Tree one evening and killed it in disguist. Arkitah, heeded Offipso’s words of wisdom, “If it moves and it shouldn’t use duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40,” and applied WD-40 to the tarantula. It began to move…

But then Cye stepped on it.

Arkitah, still not discouraged, used duct tape to repair the tarantula. Suri supplied the WD-40 and voila! The tarantula is revived from certain death!

Arkitah named the tarantula Silver, and there was much spoofing.
“Who was that masked… thing?”
“I dunno, but the tarantula its riding on is named Silver.”
“What color is Lone Ranger’s horse?”

Cye guessed correctly, “White?” and got a free Scooby Snack.

Arkitah decided to make the Rose Garden safe for the world’s tarantulas by sabotaging the Raid. This proved difficult due to Arkitah’s small size. Eventully, Arkitah knocked down the Raid and log-rolled it into a body of water to the east. Tough look for the fish.

Then, the Lone Magical Riding Ranger rode on Silver into the sunset, satasfied on a job well done.

SpinDizzy Puppeteers Guild

Hello Ba'ar here. Big news gang! The Spindizzy Puppeteers guild is moving. We've now got our own place at the brand new Spindizzy puppet theatre (place n2 w3 and go Into the (T)heatre and enter the (W)orkshop from there - or t #10605 for direct teleport). Also thanks to Butterfluff, we have our own message board where members can post news and views and other useful things. The day (Saturday) and the meeting time (2100 MUCK time) will be unchanged. One thing is that I will more likely than not be out of town this Saturday the 27th so meeting will be conducted by Rose. Thanks for your help in making us bigger and better.

Salem Hurt In Accident

Salem, local Kitty's player was badly hurt in an accident. He was hit by a car while riding a bike. There is more information, and a board to post good wishes here

Weekly Survey

This week, Argon asked folks, "What is your favorite cereal?"

  • Arkitah chimes, "Um... Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
  • BlueJaey purrs gently, " Honey buntches of oats. n.n"
  • Rick says, "My favorite cereal is Granola because its got oats in it, with rice milk. MMMMMMM!"
  • PatchO'Black likes Capt. Crunch, no good reason why.
  • Twohart says, "Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs"
  • Cye says, "Honey nut Cherrios!"
  • Rown says, "42."
  • Gina_Doberman says, "Captain Crunch with Crunchberries!"
  • Suri says, "Captain Crunch!"
  • Terry puffs, "Lucky Charms."
  • Alex says, "My favorate cereal...Is no cereal at all."
  • Twohart says, "I'll go with Lucky Charms, Argon."
  • Skolf says, "Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"
  • Ringo used to like cream of wheat, with hershey's syrup in it.
  • Rosey_Raccoon says, "Wheetabix is a good."
  • Tottle likes Grape Nuts.

Alicia's Mecha Mart

Alicia's Mecha Wherehouse
All aviable new mecha 90% off on approved credit!!
All used mecha 100% off on approved credit!!
Clearence Clearence Clearence!!!
BUY NOW!!!!!
Rates subject to change. Not aviable in all areas. See dealer for price vacration. Must have valid credit. Rate is at 90% APR. Accessories not included. Pilot license required. Insurace covered for 1 hour only to mecha and surrounding proertly. Must be valid member. New membership is 200% price difference of sold mecha.

Now Hiring

Dear Argon,

Skolftronix Inc. Postions: Management, Research & Development, Test Subjects, Mercenaries
Hours: Flexible
Pay: Ha! Oh, uh. Negotiable

Skolftronix Inc. wants -you- to (willingly) work for them. Postions will be filled on a first come, first serve basis. Our company creates many fine products and is also the leading supporter in the SpinDizzy Evil Removal Project. If this sounds like the kinda job for you, contact Skolf at anytime. Also willing to answer any questions about Skolftronix Inc. and anything concerning the company.

Player Plinko Concerns

Dear Argon,

I have noticed a disturbing trend among young people today. They are spending all their kwarters and way too much time playing with the Player Plinko. They should go out and do other things, like watch MTV and do their homework and become slaves to capitalism… but today’s young people are doing none of those things. Instead, they sit down on their bums all day next to these Plinkos that have sprouted up in youth activity centers all across the known universe. Something must be done. For the good of our society, we must close down these activity centers so that we can resume brainwashing our kids.

A Concerned Parent

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to argon@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.