SED Press Release Roboticization Shouldn't Cause Panic
     There is no need to fear if Morticon offers to turn you into a robot.  Being a robot is fun, and it costs NOTHING!  You look much like your old self, but never get old, never get hurt, and have new abilities!  The procedure is relatively quick and painless.

   So far, three furs have been successfully 'converted' with no ill effects.  In fact, at least two of them appear to love their new forms!  So, next time you see Morticon, just tell him YOU would like to be a robot!

Schmatt The B.O. Crisis
     Joe-Bob's deodorant factory has come into muckwide attention lately.  Many are wondering who they are and where they came from, let alone how could they have four palettes of deodorant stolen.  Many furs on the muck claim that the loss of deodorant is not really a problem, considering mainly humanoids use it while others use the spray kind.  The deodorant is considered a generic brand and therefore it's loss is a threat to lower income humanoid furs.  Joe and Bob, when asked about the event, are quoted as saying, "Yep, it got stold, it got stold one night." 

   Bob was the first one on the scene to discover the missing deodorant.  He feels it is a terrible loss and they may lose funding because of their lack of product.  As I wrote this article, I did a little investigating to try and figure out who could be so crude as to steal deodorant.  After talking to Joe and Bob it became clear that a centaur was involved.  Centaurs, known for their intelligence, seem to have little use for the deodorant.  Fortunately, Joe-Bob's deodorant factory had surveillance cameras.  After my personal review of the tapes, it is clear the centaur involved was none other than Argon.

   Upon my realization of whom it was in the tapes, I went off to the rose garden to question Argon about the tape and his involvement.  When I asked Argon about his being able to  use stick-type deodorant, he replied, "I'm afraid not, Schmatt."  He admitted to having no use of said deodorant. During my probing questions of his use of the deodorant he physically assaulted me by picking me up and driving my nose under his arm saying, "Does it smell like I'm using a stick, Schmatt?" A wolf's muzzle is very sensitive and this act was truly uncalled for. When asked about the assault, Argon replied, "You might mention that I didn't just kill you outright, Schmatt."  Argon then said, "It's obvious that these charges are the ravings of a hastily thrown together Kangaroo court, more than likely under the control of a close relative of the Kangaroo, the Evil Wallaby!  I deny stealing anything and challenge my accusers to prove the alleged crime actually took place."  Strange how the accused like to point fingers isn't it? I'll have more on this story as it develops and I'll keep you posted.

Dispatch/Newswire Sunday, 20 May--The Howling Deserts of Araby
      Mouser, local fursnake and Roving (or in this case, Slithering) Reporter, sends news of his ongoing desert trek:

   Having survived the ocean voyage with no ill effects, I find myself in one of the most  inhospitable places know to fur.  The natives are strange and rather hostile; my best  hope at survival seems to be keeping away from them.  I have found lodging in what  appears to be an abandoned prairie dog town.  The residents, similar vagabonds as  myself, call it "The Village".  An apropos description, as I am for all practical  purposes a prisoner here.  Fortunately, it's a reasonably well-appointed prison, and I expect to at least survive, if not thrive, until I can return to more hospitable climes.

   The words "utter desolation" or "gawdfersaken wilderness" come to mind here. The heat is indescribably brutal to the point where I'm considering shaving and  passing myself off as a Desert Hairless species.  The air is of questionable quality,  full of choking dust and lacking even the slightest trace of humidity.  It has taken me two weeks to survive the inevitable respiratory illnesses and acclimate to the harsh  environment, and that was only with the gracious loan of some humidifiers to make my den habitable.  Fortunately, the hunting has been good and I need not fear starvation.

   Hopefully I shall be able to send more dispatches now that I've settled down and  am feeling better.  I look forward to hearing news of my friends back at SpinDizzy, and promise my return soon.  Dinner calls now, and with luck some time at the water  hole to cool off and rehydrate.

Newswire Sources Argon Asks Citizens To Vote On An Important Topic
     Argon, local centaur, has put up for vote the question of whether Morticon, local evil Wallaby, should be brought to trial for his crimes.  Check the voting booth in the Rose Garden and you can let your vote and the answer to this urgent question be known.
   The Doze Garden (Click for a larger image)
 There is no comic this week, sorry.
@Action News Info Guidelines and Procedure for Submitting Articles
  ## Procedure for submitting an article:

 *  The newspaper building is located at Role Play Central (rpc).  When you enter the building you will see a bulletin board.

 *  Go ahead and 'write' your story.  If you decide you don't want to  write one, hit .abort and forget about it.  Otherwise page 'newspaper'  alerting us that you wrote one when you finish pasting it in. 

 *  An alternative to this is to page #mail newspaper with your story OR  email it to newspaper@spindizzy.org

 *  If you wish to see the edited version before it is published, please note that somewhere before or after your article.

 * That's it!  It'll appear in the paper!

## Guidelines for writing articles:

When writing articles for the paper...

 * Try and do some proofreading before submission.  That means spell  check! However, if you're no good at that sort of stuff, just send it as-is  and the editors will try their best.

 * No articles whose sole purpose is to flame someone.  You can use the  SpinDizzy BB for that ;)

 * Please strive for accuracy.  If they have time, the editors may check  up on some of the quotes and perhaps the basic facts of the article.   Otherwise, it is assumed you did your best to write an accurate article.   If this is abused and inaccurate things are complained about, stricter  rules may be put in place.

 * Submitting your article anytime on Friday evening through the  normal publishing date (Saturday night) will usually waive your right to  review the edited version because of time constraints.  You will be  contacted and informed but if you cannot get on before the publishing  deadline to check your article it will be published regardless UNLESS  you specify otherwise.

 * The editors' decisions are final.  This is not a wiz ran paper so do not  complain to them.  We can be reached by paging 'newspaper'.

 * Just about anything is published, so be creative!  It can be IC views on  RL topics, RPs that occurred around the MUCK, or most other things  you can think of.  You have creative license when it comes to  documenting RPs, so feel free to expound on the action, etc.  If you  aren't sure if a story is acceptable, page 'newspaper' and find out! :)

 * The AUP applies, so keep language and content acceptable.

  The End