|| There is no
need to fear if Morticon offers to turn you into a robot. Being a
robot is fun, and it costs NOTHING! You look much like your old self,
but never get old, never get hurt, and have new abilities! The procedure
is relatively quick and painless.
So far, three furs have been successfully 'converted' with
no ill effects. In fact, at least two of them appear to love their
new forms! So, next time you see Morticon, just tell him YOU would
like to be a robot!
||The B.O. Crisis
|| Joe-Bob's deodorant
factory has come into muckwide attention lately. Many are wondering
who they are and where they came from, let alone how could they have four
palettes of deodorant stolen. Many furs on the muck claim that the
loss of deodorant is not really a problem, considering mainly humanoids
use it while others use the spray kind. The deodorant is considered
a generic brand and therefore it's loss is a threat to lower income humanoid
furs. Joe and Bob, when asked about the event, are quoted as saying,
"Yep, it got stold, it got stold one night."
Bob was the first one on the scene to discover the missing
deodorant. He feels it is a terrible loss and they may lose funding
because of their lack of product. As I wrote this article, I did
a little investigating to try and figure out who could be so crude as to
steal deodorant. After talking to Joe and Bob it became clear that
a centaur was involved. Centaurs, known for their intelligence, seem
to have little use for the deodorant. Fortunately, Joe-Bob's deodorant
factory had surveillance cameras. After my personal review of the
tapes, it is clear the centaur involved was none other than Argon.
Upon my realization of whom it was in the tapes, I went
off to the rose garden to question Argon about the tape and his involvement.
When I asked Argon about his being able to use stick-type deodorant,
he replied, "I'm afraid not, Schmatt." He admitted to having no use
of said deodorant. During my probing questions of his use of the deodorant
he physically assaulted me by picking me up and driving my nose under his
arm saying, "Does it smell like I'm using a stick, Schmatt?" A wolf's muzzle
is very sensitive and this act was truly uncalled for. When asked about
the assault, Argon replied, "You might mention that I didn't just kill
you outright, Schmatt." Argon then said, "It's obvious that these
charges are the ravings of a hastily thrown together Kangaroo court, more
than likely under the control of a close relative of the Kangaroo, the
Evil Wallaby! I deny stealing anything and challenge my accusers
to prove the alleged crime actually took place." Strange how the
accused like to point fingers isn't it? I'll have more on this story as
it develops and I'll keep you posted.
||Sunday, 20 May--The Howling
Deserts of Araby
local fursnake and Roving (or in this case, Slithering) Reporter, sends
news of his ongoing desert trek:
Having survived the ocean voyage with no ill effects, I
find myself in one of the most inhospitable places know to fur.
The natives are strange and rather hostile; my best hope at survival
seems to be keeping away from them. I have found lodging in what
appears to be an abandoned prairie dog town. The residents, similar
vagabonds as myself, call it "The Village". An apropos description,
as I am for all practical purposes a prisoner here. Fortunately,
it's a reasonably well-appointed prison, and I expect to at least survive,
if not thrive, until I can return to more hospitable climes.
The words "utter desolation" or "gawdfersaken wilderness"
come to mind here. The heat is indescribably brutal to the point where
I'm considering shaving and passing myself off as a Desert Hairless
species. The air is of questionable quality, full of choking
dust and lacking even the slightest trace of humidity. It has taken
me two weeks to survive the inevitable respiratory illnesses and acclimate
to the harsh environment, and that was only with the gracious loan
of some humidifiers to make my den habitable. Fortunately, the hunting
has been good and I need not fear starvation.
Hopefully I shall be able to send more dispatches now that
I've settled down and am feeling better. I look forward to
hearing news of my friends back at SpinDizzy, and promise my return soon.
Dinner calls now, and with luck some time at the water hole to cool
off and rehydrate.
||Argon Asks Citizens To
Vote On An Important Topic
|| Argon, local
centaur, has put up for vote the question of whether Morticon, local evil
Wallaby, should be brought to trial for his crimes. Check the voting
booth in the Rose Garden and you can let your vote and the answer to this
urgent question be known.
||The Doze Garden (Click
for a larger image)
There is no comic this week, sorry.
||Guidelines and Procedure
for Submitting Articles
||## Procedure for submitting an article:
* The newspaper building is located at Role Play Central
(rpc). When you enter the building you will see a bulletin board.
* Go ahead and 'write' your story. If you decide you
don't want to write one, hit .abort and forget about it. Otherwise
page 'newspaper' alerting us that you wrote one when you finish pasting
* An alternative to this is to page #mail newspaper with
your story OR email it to email@example.com
* If you wish to see the edited version before it is published,
please note that somewhere before or after your article.
* That's it! It'll appear in the paper!
## Guidelines for writing articles:
When writing articles for the paper...
* Try and do some proofreading before submission. That means
spell check! However, if you're no good at that sort of stuff, just
send it as-is and the editors will try their best.
* No articles whose sole purpose is to flame someone. You
can use the SpinDizzy BB for that ;)
* Please strive for accuracy. If they have time, the editors
may check up on some of the quotes and perhaps the basic facts of
the article. Otherwise, it is assumed you did your best to
write an accurate article. If this is abused and inaccurate
things are complained about, stricter rules may be put in place.
* Submitting your article anytime on Friday evening through the
normal publishing date (Saturday night) will usually waive your right to
review the edited version because of time constraints. You will be
contacted and informed but if you cannot get on before the publishing
deadline to check your article it will be published regardless UNLESS
you specify otherwise.
* The editors' decisions are final. This is not a wiz ran
paper so do not complain to them. We can be reached by paging
* Just about anything is published, so be creative! It can
be IC views on RL topics, RPs that occurred around the MUCK, or most
other things you can think of. You have creative license when
it comes to documenting RPs, so feel free to expound on the action,
etc. If you aren't sure if a story is acceptable, page 'newspaper'
and find out! :)
* The AUP applies, so keep language and content acceptable.