Argon Costume Box Appears In Rose Garden
  A neat thing has appeared in the Rose Garden.  It's an old beat up trunk that is full of costumes.  You can put one on and become a 'toon bunny (sort of like Skyler)!  No matter what your size, species, or appendage count, you look like a bunny in a costume.
Of course, being a 'toon bunny means you can do toony stuff, like in cartoons.  It's fun!  So next time you're in the Rose Garden, take a 'look' at the Costume Box and try one on.
Newswire Sources Arch Criminal Returns
  The serenity and safety of SpinDizzy was shattered with the return of arch fiend and alleged leader of the SED, Richard Moriarty.  Moriarty, remembered by many as one of the founding forces behind the SED, has been seen in several areas of the muck.  As yet, no indication of competition or alliance between him and Morticon has been made.

SpinDizzy residents have expressed a wide range of responses to Moriarty's return. Some have said that although they don't care for crime, the SED's entertainment value was worth the slight inconvenience.  Other have hoped that they would just kill each other.  The majority made replies ranging from, "Who?" to "<player> has disconnected."

"It all depends on whether Morticon or Moriarty can get the majority of the SED personnel to follow him," Argon, local Centaur commented. "In other words, whoever has Mouser's allegiance will have the SED."  It has also been suggested that Mouser is already in charge, using both Morticon and Moriarty to his own ends.  Only time will tell
Morticon On Twinks and Rping  [Somewhat of a commentary]
  Lately, we have had an influx of newbies to the MUCK.  While that is a good thing, it has become apparent to me not all of them are used to the general style of Park RPing and RPing in general.  Granted, there is no one good way to RP, otherwise things would be boring.   There is, however, a few things that everyone should be doing while Rping in the park:

1.  No powergaming (otherwise known as being a 'twink')!  Park RP is intended just to be fun and generally silly, having no basis in anything.  So, no need to whip out those twin missile launchers, have 1000 bits of fire descend upon the land, or activate your protect-all shield.  Keep the serious weapons at home and be prepared to be shrunk temporarily, colored, or whip-creamed, among other things.  After you leave the park the changes don't have to stick.  I usually make them stick if I can't resolve them via RP, but only for a couple of days.

2.  No killing furs!  The Rose Garden isn't supposed to be mass grave.  It is a happy place, where all can enjoy themselves.  Killing furs sorta puts a damper on that stuff, you know? :)

3.  Don't swear!  This goes with the AUP, but just to reiterate.  There ARE children on the MUCK.

4.  Don't do a million actions to someone before they can respond (also part of being a twink).  While, every so often, there is a time when that is appropriate (especially if you know the fur well), the vast majority of the time it is not.  For an example, it's rather twinkish to grab someone, stick them in a box, close the box, wrap it with chains, and blow it up all in one sentence before they can respond.  Do one action at a time and give the other guy a chance to respond to it.  That'll also make for more fun and unpredictable RP.

I think that covers a lot of what I've seen and heard about recently.  When RPing more seriously outside the park, you still need to make sure you don't do 'twinkish' things, as that makes it less fun for everyone else involved.  Also, if you want to make sure you're doing everything OK, just ask (usually via whispers)!  Who knows, you may even pick up a tip or two!
Kulan April fools day Articles
  As you may have guessed, several things mentioned in the April 1st edition of @Action News were probably fake.  The leaving wizzes article was completely fake, as well as me getting fired, much to the dismay of many. :)
Kulan and Anonymous Source Lamar Beaten to a Pulp!
  In a recent surveillance tape leaked from the SED to my desk, Flutterz was shown being rescued from the evil Lamar, by Vassily, local sloth.

In the tape, the evil Lamar told Flutterz not to call for help, but apparently it was too late as Vassily showed up in the unidentified location, which looked almost like a dungeon.  Flutterz then shook her bird cage frantically to assist in being located.  Lamar saw this and said, "Curses, our plot is foiled."  Lamar also stated that no matter how much he was beaten, he would not give away information about the plan, which gave Vassily an idea.

Lamar then said, "Now we shall fight, and I shall win, Ha Ha Ha!" a bit too dramatically, while looking his best in front of the camera.  Vassily proposed a western-style gundraw, but Lamar said, again a bit too dramatically, that he had not a gun because the SED had not budgeted for it.  Vassily tossed a gun over (a .38 police special) so the fight could continue, but when Lamar tried to catch the gun, he got a hangnail and made much ruckus about it, saying the fight could not continue because, "...now I can not pull the trigger to destroy the fiend no matter how I try... Oh if only we had the expense accounts to pay for Manicures!"

Lamar continued, saying if only the guns could be put away and the fighting be hand to hand, that he could take care of Vassily.  Vassily agreed, and immediately did a matrix-style jump-attack, taking out the feeble, slow bunny before he knew what hit him.  Vassily then smiled nicely for the camera.

"Gads... My muscles have been pulled and strained by the blow, if only we had Subsidized Health Care, and Personal Trainers! Oh the agony, I am finished already..."  Lamar lamented as he lay on the floor.  Vassily, suddenly remembering he was here to rescue Flutterz, let her out of the cage and ponders his next move.

Flutterz seemed itching for revenge and to beat a plan out of Lamar while she was at it.  So Vassily, being the heroic sloth he is, gave her a Nerf bat and let her beat up Lamar.  Vassily also joined in with a Nerf bat soaked in some sort of liquid.  When they were done, Lamar looked bloodied on the black and white camera and said his last words, "Aieeeee, my Life Blood is sapped from my very veins!  Ooooch, Owch, Arghly... I faint...  Exunt ommes, depart stage left. "

Flutterz flew over to Vassily and gave her hero a smooch.  Vassily struck a heroic pose and then dragged Lamar off somewhere, ending the videotape.

The SED had no comment at the time of viewing other then that Lamar is understood to have recovered from his injuries, after charging a stay at an exclusive private hospital to his expense account.
The Doze Garden (Click for a larger image)

@Action News Info Guidelines and Procedure for Submitting Articles
>> Procedure for submitting an article:
 *  The newspaper building is located at Role Play Central (rpc).  When you
enter the building you will see a bulletin board.
 *  Go ahead and 'write' your story.  If you decide you don't want to write
one, hit .abort and forget about it.  Otherwise page 'newspaper' alerting
us that you wrote one when you finish pasting it in.
 *  An alternative to this is to page #mail newspaper with your story OR
 * We will edit it and tell you where you can look at it to make sure it wasn't mangled.  You can then p #mail the editor involved saying that it is ok.  Otherwise, suggest changes that should be made. If you trust the editors feel free to put something to the effect that you pre-approve the editing in your rough draft.
 * That's it!  It'll appear in the paper!
>> Guidelines for writing articles:
When writing articles for the paper...
 * Try and do some proofreading before submission.  That means spell check!
However, if you're no good at that sort of stuff, just send it as-is and the
editors will try their best.
 * No articles whose sole purpose is to flame someone.  You can use the SpinDizzy BB for
that ;)
 * Please strive for accuracy.  If they have time, the editors may check up on some of the quotes and perhaps the basic facts of the article.  Otherwise, it is assumed you did your best to write an accurate article.  If this is abused and inaccurate things are complained about, stricter rules may be put in place.
* Submitting your article anytime on Friday evening through the normal publishing date (Saturday night) will usually waive your right to review the edited version because of time constraints.  You will be contacted and informed but if you cannot get on before the publishing deadline to check your article it will be published regardless UNLESS you specify otherwise.
 * The editors' decisions are final.  This is not a wiz ran paper so do not
complain to them.  We can be reached by paging 'newspaper'.
 * Just about anything is published, so be creative!  It can be IC views on
RL topics, RPs that occurred around the MUCK, or most other things you can
think of.  You have creative license when it comes to documenting RPs, so
feel free to expound on the action, etc.  If you aren't sure if a story is
acceptable, page 'newspaper' and find out! :)
 * The AUP applies, so keep language and content acceptable.
  The End