|SED Press Release
||Skittles are harmless
There has been a rash of furs morphing randomly in the park recently, and some
have incorrectly linked it to eating one of Morticon's Skittles just moments
before the transformation. "There is nothing in the Skittles but
wholesome Skittles goodness," claims Morticon, SED Leader.
Morticon assured the press that the transformations are purely coincidental
and are in no way related to the supposed shroomie farm incident or the
Skittles themselves. "I am merely passing out candy so that all may
have a moment of happiness in their otherwise oppressive life," Morticon
In summary, if Morticon or any other SED member gives you some Skittles or
other bite-sized candy, don't be afraid to pop it into your mouth and enjoy
||The SED BookLlist: The Darwin Awards|
If you haven't heard of the Darwin Awards by now, you're probably not
using the same Internet as the rest of us. Comprising a collection of
people demonstrating such stupidity, they remove themselves from the gene
pool. Often by Inane Death, but accidental sterilization also counts.
This book serves as a collation of 185 of the Awards, Honorable Mentions,
Personal Accounts, and Urban Legends. The stories are arranged in
categories from the pyromania of 'Up in Smoke: Fire and Explosions' to the
wince inducing 'Man's Favorite Toy: Penis Envy'.
Each story is clearly marked as confirmed, unconfirmed, or plain not true.
(Something that sets it apart from the run of the mill 'Urban Myth' book)
And some stories come with little box outs explaining either the science
behind what happened or the science debunking it as a myth. The
introductions to each section often have little to do with the stories
contained but are still mildly entertaining backgrounds on the philosophy
behind the Darwin Awards.
Basically, this is a paperback version of some of the stories that have
been available for free on the Internet. Paperback, and priced for the
Airport or Bus Station market. (UKP5.99 or $16.95 US) If you've read most
of the stories already, this may not be your idea of a worthwhile buy. If
you've read some of the stories, and didn't find it at all amusing, this
is definitely not a good book to read. If you've seen a few stories, and
see this book while waiting for a long distance train, you might find it a
interesting and often funny diversion. Otherwise the book doesn't add that
much more to the texts available for free.
I give this a Six out of Ten. Not a compulsive buy, but not something to
outright avoid either. A note for SED members who decide to read it on the
Internet for free instead. Be warned that installing a VDU in the tub so
you can read in the bath might gain you a Darwin Award.
SED members are advised to use this book as a guide of what not to do.
Title: The Darwin Awards /
Author: Wendy Northcutt
BN: 0525945725 (US/CAN) or 075283871 (EURO/AUS)
Pages: 327 (US/CAN) or 286 (EURO/AUS)
Summary: Very Dumb People Die.
||Space Museum And Display On Drawing Board|
Construction is underway locally for a new tourist attraction that is
hoped to be a magnet for space tourism, high tech industry, and
employment. Suri, local lemur, recently described to this reporter Launch
Complex 19, which is to be a recreation of the place and time of the
Gemini launches. Although currently just in the planning stages, the
land has been acquired and construction is set to begin.
This attraction will reproduce the place from which the first two-manned
space flights by the United States were prepared and launched. Its
historical and educational value will be priceless and Austin, local
Coati and space nut, will also have another excuse to tell us things about
the program we didn't know or care about before.
||Presidential Election Results In Chaos|
This week, the United States was thrown into confusion by the elections held
on Tuesday. Although the race had been predicted to be close, the
narrow margin separating the number of votes was extremely narrow.
During recounts, it was found that a number of irregularities were found to
While reporting on the election for The Centaur Clarion, this reporter
became aware of circumstances and occurrences which only his experiences
here at SpinDizzy would have made apparent to him. While at the time,
testing the Palm Beach County butterfly ballots on Wallabies seemed innocent
enough, the irregularities resulting from these 'Wallaby Tested' forms, in
light of my experiences here with Wallabies, seemed suspicious. In addition,
it was found that Skittles candies were found at the scene of almost every
irregularity occurring in the state. Unnoticed by law enforcement were
the Fursnake tracks found in a number of locations.
Also, reports about damaged disks, missing ballots, and voter intimidation
left this reporter with no option but to consider that the SED (Society of
Evil Doers) might be involved. However, the success of these actions made it
unclear as to how any SED members could have been involved. Due to the
failure of officials, to whom this reporter could inform of these points, to
believe in evil Wallabies or Fursnakes, this information and it's
implications were kept undisclosed.
It is perhaps a relief to the citizens of SpinDizzy to know that the thin
mental and personnel resourses of the SED are stretched even thinner as they
attempt the takeover of two areas.
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