|10/08/2000||About @Action News Weekly|
|Newswire sources||SED Causes Olympic Troubles|
The year 2000 Olympic games have been rife with controversy. It has been
learned from overheard conversations that the local Society Of Evil Doers,
otherwise known as the SED, may have been involved.
The opening ceremonies of the games involved a complex mechanical torch lighting ceremony in which the torch rose out of a pool of water and was supposed to travel up a waterfall to the top of it's support, burning throughout the games. On live TV, the ceremony went well until the flame stalled. It was later learned the problem was caused by a poor quality micro switch which had failed. Inspection revealed that the switch had been purchased from SED Electronics Supply.
NBC paid $900 million for the right to tape-delay the TV broadcast of the games. Reports indicate that the network is taking a beating as only $500 million in advertising revenues are expected. Public interest in the Olympics and NBC's delayed coverage is at an all time low. It is reported that this apathy concerning watching and advertising on the Olympic coverage is due to SED M&Ms. These M&Ms have been filled with Apatheticon and dropped in local water supplies.
Further chemical analysis of the M&Ms that Morticon, alleged SED leader, has been handing out at the Olympics indicate they seem to have more than a tasty chocolate filling. Spectral analysis has shown that the M&Ms are packed with enough hormones, steroids, amphetamines, and gin sing to make Pamela Lee Anderson look like Arnold Swarzenegger. It is reported that SED agents have infiltrated the drug testing team in Sydney. When an athlete completes their competition the SED agent meets them in the drug testing area with the statement, "Congratulations on winning the gold medal. Have an M&M, then fill this cup." The athlete enjoys the M&M and when the cup's contents are tested the gold medal winner comes up positive for drugs.
The logic of these actions by the SED have not been explained.
|By Frogar||@Action News First Issue a Slow One|
The staff of @Action News have been scrambling to get articles concerning
world of SpinDizzy but have turned up just a few items of interest.
When asked about the newspaper, local reverse gryphon and self-proclaimed newbie Skanee replied, "Newspaper?" Royce, a member of Spindizzy's important raccoon population, was also asked about the newspaper and replied, "What newspaper?" Several other furs who were there at the time stated that they had articles on the way though none to be published this week.
Newspaper officials Kulan, Liz, and Frogar have all expressed concern for the low number of articles posted in this week's issue and are strongly encouraging everyone to submit stories, artwork, or advertisements to the newspaper. Liz also notes that, "Unless it's a giant flame or the like, it'll most likely wind up getting published."
Overall, the premiere of @Action News weekly has been a slow one and I hope that things will pick up shortly.
The Shroomie Farm announced its upcoming, first annual, end of summer, blow-out, get your shroomies while you still can sale this week! Hurry down to Flutterz Shroomie Farm this weekend and get the best deal on shroomies offered...well, until it is offered again!
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