VOLUME 1 ISSUE 7 98.8.14


;""""""""""; _/;; "" <@`---v

; ::::: :: "\ _/ ;; " _.../

;" ;; ;;; \___/:: ;;,'""""

;" ;;;;. ;; ;;; ::/

,/ / ;; ;;;______;;; ;;; ::,/

/;;V_;; ;;; \ /

| :/ / ,/ \_ "")/

| | / /"""= \;;\""=

; ;{::""""""= \"""=



The results from the poll are in! Fifteen people took part in the event.

1. Player most likely to get @toaded. First Place.... Damien Second Place.... Random

2. Wizard most likely to be caught maving* something revelling. First Place.... Shadow Second Place.... Austin and Speckles

3. Player most likely to read the worst issue of the TFF Ferret and like it. First Place.... Chit and Argon Second Place.... Animator

4. Player most likely to crash the MUCK next. First Place.... Blain Second Place.... (Everyone else voted for themselves)

5. Player most likely to have the most shinies. First Place.... Ringo Second Place.... (No clear Winner)

6. Wizard most likely to turn themselves into a female before the year is out. First Place.... B.J. Second Place.... Steve

7. Wizard most likely to @toad Tarka for this poll. First Place.... All Second Place.... Skyler

8. Wizard most likely to idle for one day straight. First Place.... Speckles Second Place.... Nicole

9. Player most likely to make Wizard before the year is out. First Place.... Blain Second Place.... Spaceroo

10. Helpstaffer most likely to give bad advice. First Place.... Maxl Second Place.... Tyger

11. Player most likely to mav* in the park. First Place.... Foxchange Second Place.... Animator

12. Helpstaffer most likely to find the meaning of the universe. First Place.... Maxl Second Place.... Mina

13. Wizard most likely to be found spying on other Wizards. First Place.... Speckles Second Place.... Shadow

14. Player most likely to become a helpstaffer. First Place.... Matt Second Place.... Tarka

15. Helpstaffer most likely to marry this year. First Place.... Mina Second Place.... Dellway

16. Wizard most likely to @toad you personally. First Place.... Austin and Shadow Second Place.... Speckles

17. Player most likely to switch species before the end of the year. First Place.... (Everyone on the MUCK)

18. Player most likely to make president of the SED when Moriarty is assassinated. First Place.... Tarka Second Place.... Mouser

19. Care-Bear or Care-Bear-Cousin most likely to hug you. First Place.... Nimble Second Place.... Twohart

20. Wizard most likely to find true love. First Place.... Shadow (by a landslide) Second Place.... Austin

* Maving/Mav is when you send a message to the wrong audience (example: You wanted to page someone but accidentally said the message publicly instead).

Named after Maverick, a FurryMuck character notorious for such messages.

BY: Rocko Wallaby

As I made my way to the SOL (Satellite Of Love), I knew this was going to be a weird interview. I've interviewed several furs before, but this one was definitely unique. I was, after all, interviewing characters from one of my favorite TV shows!

This article is about 350 lines, which makes it rather long. I personally think is was worth every line, so keep reading!

Rocko Wallaby: For the uninitiated, what is all this? What's TFF3k?
Joel: Well, we sit in a theatre and read crappy fanfics - or, as we're doing right now, the dialogue in the park - and make jokes at them. People are welcome to participate at home, or in Castle Forrester as they watch, if necessary.
RW: I've heard someone remark you use past logs for your "riffing".
Servo: That would be cheating.
Crow: If we were using past logs, we wouldn't be so bored half the time.
RW: So, this is all live, right?
Servo: Yup! All live!
RW: How do you plan to "project" the fanfics onto the screen for riffing?
Servo: Well, our pal Shadow made a rather nifty movie projector for Dr. Guest that we're gonna use.
RW: Where do you get your fanfics from?
Joel: From the 'Net.
Servo: The Bottomless Pit Of Suckystuff.
Joel: There's a great deal of crap out there, which we'll be more than glad to use. The first feature will be something that Tarka wrote, actually.
RW: Do you plan to riff any fanfics that have originated from TFF? (Story Circle or Square)
Crow: It's a possibility.
Joel: I'm sure that we'll use the Story Circle and/or Square at some point.
Servo: Maybe as a short, or something.
Joel: Yeah. An Arthur Dern story?
RW: Is this going to be a planned event, such as one furs can attend regularly?
Servo: Yup! Every week!
Joel: Of course, we'll be riffing the park occasionally, on no regular schedule.
RW: Furs may wander in and watch you riff at any time? Crow: Something of the sort. Dr. Guest hopes to be able to broadcast it to a wide variety of rooms.

Suddenly, with such good timing, Dr. Guest appears on the view screen! I decide to ask him a few questions...

RW: What role do you play in all this, Dr. Guest?
Joel: He sends us the cheap fanfics and is our evil captor, Rocko.
Dr._Guest: Well, I built the Satellite of Love and the Castle Forrester, and I also control it from my Laboratory within the castle.
Crow: Yeah, yeah, don't get a big head, monkey boy.
RW: So, on the once a week event, viewers are treated to a MST-like show?
Servo: Yup. Host segments and all.
Joel: Sure. They're even welcome to participate, if I remember correctly.
Dr._Guest: Yes. My goal is to create a perfect simulation of MST3K.
Servo: We have a special guest star planned for our first episode, even.
Joel: We do?
Dr._Guest: You do?
Joel: Oh yeah! We're gonna have a huge star.
RW: How is the park broadcast here for riffing? I haven't noticed any cameras...
Joel: I'm sorry, but that's a secret. If we told you, we'd have to kill you. Right, Dr. G?
Servo: Well, no, but...
Dr._Guest: Yes, I'd have to suck the air out of the room.
RW: No, that won't be necessary. I'll be happy with no answer. :)
Dr._Guest: Yes, but it would be quite fun.
Servo: But Dr G, that would kill Joel, too.
Crow: Yeah! Don't kill Joel! He's our dopey human!
Joel: Hey!
Dr._Guest: Mmm... oh yeah. Consarn it.
RW: What happened to Dr. Forrester?
Dr._Guest: I haven't figured it ou... I mean, it's a secret.
Servo: Oh, Dr F. Right. Well, he.. uh.. what did happen to Dr F?
RW: and TV's Frank, for that matter...
Crow: ...got replaced with the more loveable Professor Bobo.
RW: In the meantime, where can your future audience go for samples on this sort of thing?
Joel: Well, of course, they should watch MST3K. And go to Web Site Number Nine. I'd personally recommend reading anything MiSTed by Joeseph Nebus, our very own Austin.
Crow: Well, there is Web Site #9, where MSTers from all over the world can gather... although none of the TFF3K cast has published works on said site...
Dr._Guest: Brentai Roberts, who plays Crow, has a short uncompleted Sonic MSTing floating around somewhere.
Crow: Shhh!
RW: What's your secret? where do you all get your quick and funny wits? Doing it live must be a bit stressful...
Joel: Well, yeah. Especially with park dialogue.
Crow: By reading Web Site #9 and watching MST3K until our heads explode.
Servo: Anyway.. we get it from watching MST3K a lot, of course. Making fun of people's a natural thing to us now! I personally enjoy riffing MiSs ToRgO...
RW: Do you advise all those who do not want to be riffed to stay out of the park?
Joel: No. We advise people to be intelligent.
Servo: Yeah. 'Don't be dickweeds!'
RW: You mean make the park like it was a few months back?
Joel: Right.
Joel: Of course, having people like FeLiCiA, Saverin, Merlin, and Simba around make this all the more fun.
RW: I take it you have your favorite chars to riff? Joel: Oh, yes!
Crow: It's always a treat to watch FeLiCiA clean herself. ThE mAsTeR aPpRoVeS oF gRoOmInG.
Servo: And Xyanth. Don't forget Xyanth.
Crow: Any time Saverin and Merlin are in the park, it's time for action.
Servo: And Pyanfar.
Joel: Well, Pyanfar IS Simba, so...
RW: Any favorite moments?
Servo: Whenever FeLiCiA grooms! Rrrrowrl!
Crow: A few nights ago I went through some rigorous basic training in which Merlin was screaming at Saverin for yiffing Xyanth. Very bad. The fact that the log did not save itself properly is bittersweet.
Servo: Oh! And the time that Saverin was getting the bajeezus kicked out of him by Merlin! I didn't know who to root for.
Joel: Wasn't there some time when I wasn't here that Simba, Merlin, and "Bob" knows who else had a Manos-esque fight?
Crow: Oh yes. Dr. Guest convinced Brain Guy to make them all strip down to their birthday suits.
Servo: That was scary. Ugh.
Crow: Or the time Pyanfar was trying to kill Simba,
apparently not realizing she was attacking herself!
Servo: Or what about the time FeLiCiA ToRgO invited Austin to her room! And he went! Rowrl!
RW: You three get along much like the real MST chars.... how long did you know each other before trying this?
Joel: I've known EG/Crow for...what, the better part of two, three years?
Servo: Oh, the usual way. I met Joel in the park, and met Crow and Dr. Guest through him.
RW: Any last comments to our readers?
Servo: Bissen mir, jux es!
Crow: Look for us in a broadcast room near you!
Joel: Err...it's just a silly event, you should really just relax.

I was then invited to watch them "riff" (make fun of) the park for a bit. Here's an unedited excerpt (The > is park activity, while everything else is them):

> Pyanfar roars, "You keep this up and you loss me im not standing for this nonsense, your litterly telling Austin to kick you out by acting 4yrs old....please if you dont do it for me do it for merlin for he cant do it himself!"
Servo riffs, "Ewww!"
Joel deadpans, "I really don't understand what Pyanfar just said."
> H.J.Saverin meows, "Okay, I will."
Crow riffs, "Merlin can't do it himself? Does he need a spotter?"
Joel deadpans, "[Saverin] ...Cover myself in pudding."
> Pyanfar roars, "follow by the rules. please!"
> Simba sighs
Crow riffs, "[Pyanfar] No dying."
> Simba softly roars, "I might as well wear a muzzle the way i talk."
> Simba giggles
> Merlin floats to the ground.
> Simba looks at her father and pokes him
> Simba pokes Merlin!
> Tanuki wavies... I gotta go wash up, and I'll probably fix myself up something to eat and such... I'll be back later tonight. ^_^
Servo riffs, "Ewww, she's poking him again!"
Crow riffs, "Uh... that's very wrong."
> Pyanfar roars, "Later."
Crow riffs, "[Pyanfar] Sav, you're hideous! I can't look at you!"
> Merlin meows, "No I can't Save, cause I don't belive you."
> Austin finishes editing a message on the bulletin board.
Joel deadpans, "[Merlin] I can only save if I belive in Bill Gates."
> . . . A subspace current carries the sleepers away. .
. > Marion acks don't send me home!!!
> Marion has left.
> Billie screams, wakes up with baseball bat and bats himself to sleep as he is swept away.
> Billie has left.
Joel deadpans, "Yeah. And that's just wrong."
Joel deadpans, "You know, Billie is a *very* intellegent person."
Servo riffs, "He was sleeping with a baseball bat?"
> Pyanfar growls and throws the ring at sav. "i tried to talk to you but you wont even listen to me your wiFE for christ sakes!!!!!
> Pyanfar goes home.
> Pyanfar has left.
> Merlin meows, "You had your chance.........."
> Merlin goes home.
> Merlin has left.
> Simba sighs
> Simba patpats H.J.Saverin!
Crow riffs, "They're leaving! Yay!"
Servo riffs, "No! We missed the good part!"
Crow riffs, "Uh, that's a good thing."
> Simba softly roars, "poor guy everything seems to go wrong today huh?"
Joel deadpans, "Hey, this is...great."
> Simba hugs H.J.Saverin!
> H.J.Saverin cuddles in a ball under a tree.
> Ami sez, "I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of a soap."
Joel deadpans, "It's a Michael Douglas film!"
Crow riffs, "So, Pyanfar walked out on Saverin and is
coming on to him at the same time."
Joel deadpans, "Sounds like it to me, Crow."
> Simba giggles and smiles at ami
> H.J.Saverin meows, "What elces can go wrong?"
Crow riffs, "Hey, The Game's a soap, too, so she is. =)"
Joel deadpans, "It is NOT, Crow."
Joel deadpans, "Well, let's see. The world could explode!"
Crow riffs, "Every vestige of your grammer could be decimated..."
Servo riffs, "Another meteor movie could come out."
> Simba softly roars, "Dont say that Trust me it can."
> Simba softly roars, "else"
> Simba softly roars, "I think."
Joel ponders inviting Ami.
Crow riffs, "Pyanfar could come back..."
Crow riffs, "Capital idea!"
> Simba softly roars, "Austin, can i ask you a question?"
Crow riffs, "We'll have a 'Laugh at the twinks' party!"
Servo riffs, "[Austin] No. Go away."
> Austin says, "Better; you may, Simba."
> Signal purrs, "You are, Ami, of a sort."
Crow riffs, "We'll invite austin, and Ami, and Signal and Steve adn a bunch of other furs."
Joel deadpans, "Austin is Thad Boyd in disguise!"
> Simba softly roars, "Have i gotten on your nerves lately? "
Crow riffs, "Well lesse, is easily annoyed, may very well @toad an entire MUCK, fixes every grammer mistake, is incredibly imperious... he may be."
> Ami blinks at an odd thought.
Joel deadpans, "[Ami] Pudding and beer in ONE handy beverage!"
Servo riffs, "Mmm!"
Crow riffs, "[Ami] What if people were watching us RIGHT NOW, and making fun of us?"
> Signal purrs, "Oooh. Odd thoughts are the best kind."
> H.J.Saverin meows, "My Wife left me, Merlin hates me, DayHawk's gonna kill me, and I'm being riped emo by Austin."
Joel deadpans, "Sounds like a good day for Saverin, don't you think?"
Servo riffs, "[Saverin] And I feel like I'm being watched.."
> Austin says, "Actually, Simba, no; I've had other things on my mind."
Crow riffs, "He's being riped? Everybody plug their noses."
> Simba softly roars, "i dont think she left you just mad sav dont worry."
Joel deadpans, "[Austin] Like those math finals I have to grade."
> Ami sez, "In the middle of all this, I suddenly have the question of flea control for anthros pop into my mind."
Servo riffs, "Like Simba would -know-!...wait.. nevermind."
> Simba jumps in the air "YES! good im doing good then..got my teacher py to help me =)
Servo riffs, "So she teaches herself? Ewww.."
Crow riffs, "Oh yes, a half-robot is the leading expert on fleas."
Crow riffs, "Ah, is this the same person on Taps you were talkign about earlier?"
Servo riffs, "I don't think so. This was a guy."
Joel deadpans, "You know, it could be."
> Simba smiles bigly
Joel deadpans, "Yes, bigly! It's a word!"
Servo snickers. "Bigly?"
> Simba hugs Austin!
Servo riffs, "Broadly, you ninnyhammer!"
Joel deadpans, "Servo, we're talking about a person who can't type 'what'."
Crow riffs, "[Bigly] I'm Sgt. Bigly."
Servo riffs, "Never mind, then."
Servo gets an idea for a host segment.
> Simba pokes H.J.Saverin!
Joel deadpans, "Share, Servo!"
Crow riffs, "Hmm... you know, 'bigly' is a perfectly crommulent word."
> H.J.Saverin meows, "oof"
Joel deadpans, "Crommulent?"
Crow riffs, "Like 'embiggens'."R> > Simba softly roars, "Sav?" > Maverick arrives in his X-Wing. Once he exits, the X-wing autopilots to base...
> Maverick has arrived.
> R2-D2 bounds in looking for Maverick..
> Austin says, "Hi, Maverick."
Joel deadpans, "Isn't that when somebody gets implants?"
> Maverick says, "hello."
Crow riffs, "Hmm... shall we show Rocko the wonders of host segments?"
Joel deadpans, "Yeah! Ad-libbed host segment!"
Servo riffs, "Yeah!"
Crow riffs, "The best kind! Well, not really... not even close in fact."
> Austin says, "How're you?"
Joel deadpans, "Nope. But let's do it anyway."
Servo riffs, "Not remotely close. Don't forget me this time, Joel!"
Joel deadpans, "Of course not, little buddy."
Crow riffs, "Dr. Guest, I know you're observing us, so give us a host seg break."

As if on cue, we are transported back into the SOL Main room, where they ad-lib a host segment. Not bad considering it's made up on the spot:

Crow riffs, "Okay, let's go over the characteristics of a twink... overpowered, can't spell, yiffs a lot..."
Servo nods, or would, returning to his spot on the desk. "Can't punctuate."
Joel deadpans, "Like Merlin, right?"
Crow riffs, "Can't convince anybody they have an IQ greater then -1."
Joel deadpans, "Crow...than."
Crow riffs, "Quite, Thd!"
Joel aaaaaghhs! "Crow has Twink Syndrome!"
Crow riffs, "wut r u taking abot/"
Servo aaaughs! "Joel! I'm scared!"
Rocko laughs!
Crow riffs, "u shuld feer me1 i am immortal"
Joel reaches under the table, bringing up a book labeled 'The Real Big Book Of Disorders'. He opens it up to the midle. "Err...Twink Syndrome. Caused by exposure to twinks...err..Servo, is there a cure?"
Crow wlkas up to Servo, "hey babi"
Joel deadpans, "Crow! Stop that!"
Servo riffs, "WAH! Joel! Help!"
Crow riffs, "wanna yiff?"
Servo riffs, "Oh, I don't know, get the Clown Hammer!"
Joel reaches under the table, coming up with the Clown Hammer. "Crow...I don't want to do this, but I have to. It hurts you more than me!"
Joel smacks Crow with the hammer.
Crow riffs, "ow"
Servo riffs, "No! It didn't work! Hide me!"
Joel smacks Crow with it again.
Crow riffs, "ow ow ow"
Joel deadpans, "Servo! Quick, look in the Real Big Book Of Disorders and tell me if there's a cure!"
Crow shutes Jol wit de Imperial Riffle wit xtra fudj1
Servo zoom!s over to the book, and looks! "Letsee.. cause, effect... cure, cure.. where's the cure.."
Crow riffs, "tHeR iS nO cOoR1"
Joel errs..."Oh yeah, Crow? Well I have a super-duper mega-shield that protects me from the...er...extra fudge!"
Crow screams! And runs!
Servo riffs, "Oh no! This is impossible! There's no way we can get the cure!"
Joel thocks Crow with the Clown Hammer again.
Crow passes out.
Joel deadpans, "Oh no! Servo, I think I killed him!"
Crow falls under the table momentarily, then climbs back up, "Hey, did any of you see a twink run by here screaming?"
Joel deadpans, "Er...no, Crow."
Servo riffs, "Uh, no. No twink. No."
Crow riffs, "Oh. Musta been a rat. Dr. G should be notified about that."

Just as they finished the skit, Dr. Guest forced them back into the theater,and I had to leave. If you found any of this remotely funny, you'll love them live! I look forward to the first public showing and I hope to see you there!

Web Site #9:

Hello all! It is with joy that I am able : type "events" to to tell you that the 25th story has been done within the Fuzzy Yarns Story Circle!

Thanks to everyone that has taken part in it over the many weeks and months.

Thank you MUCH!

For any of you that have never been to a Story Circle you can see where and when it is. I enjoy seeing new faces on the other side of the fire and look forward to seeing you there!


The Fuzzy Yarns Archive can be found here.


(to submit an article to the TFF Ferret, visit the main offices at 1W, 3N or Contact Tarka, Rocko, or Chit)