Incorporating The SpinDizzy Times Dispatch, And The Ferret
Published weekly except when it isn't
Vol. 1 Issue 234 Sunday - September 17, 2K
Four More Announce Candidacy For SpinDizzy Election
Four other SpinDizzy citizens have joined Natasha, and Morticon, in announcing their intention to run for office in the upcoming SpinDizzy election. Maxl local Badger, Royce, local Raccoon, Pidge, local Pigeon and Balloonatic, local Orange Balloon Augustine Clown Lion , all revealed their hopes this week in the Rose Garden to be elected .
Royce announced his candidacy by saying, "Vote for me, and I'll make every day Raccoon Day!"
PatchO'Black. local Jellicle Cat asked, "What about Jellicle Cat day?"
Royce chirred in reply, "Uh, yeah! That too!" Royce continued by saying, " I mean, if I get elected into a government position, wouldn't I be required to accomplish stuff or something? If I was elected, I'd sit around and talk a lot, without ever actually doing anything useful. Are you allowed to do that in a high-ranking government position? I think not." Argon local Cemtaur observed, "Heh, sounds like you've held public office before, Royce." After being assured that actually accomplishing something wasn't expected of Politicians, Royce chirred, "Vote for me. I won't do anything! Vote for a raccoon on Raccoon Day!"
Royce then churred, "Vote for me, or else! Yeah. If you don't' vote for me, I'll make a non-raccoon tax, that all non-raccoons have to pay."
Locke, local Human asked, "And what if I refuse to pay this tax?" Royce answered, "Then by law, I automatically get your vote." When Locke expressed doubt as to the legality of this maneuver Royce stated, "Fine. It's just one vote. I'll just vote for myself twice to make up for it." Royce concluded by saying, "Read my lips! No new faxes!"
Pidge spoke at length revealing little. "I'll be over that Wallaby like grape juice on a t shirt", he announced, apparently speaking of rival candidate Morticon, local Wallaby. Pidge continued his speach apparently courting the Balloonie vote. In response to a request of clarification of the benefit of his election to the Balloonie community, "Balloons, Coons, and Toons... lend me your ears. Today we fight the fight the pins that spoils your rubbery complex and deprives you of you gasses. The scum on your shinies that render them unshiny. The evil that hates what you enjoy. Its time to stand up and fight the hatred against the enjoyment of all living being. Its time to fight the SED to accomplish stuff or something too! "
He continued, "I'm all about protecting rubber beings like you from harmful things. Vote for the pigeon," Pidge said, "And maintain piece and stability for the unstable.
Pidge's speech was interrupted as a rival candidate broke through security and approached the podium displaying what appeared to be fuzzy photographs of the electoral hopeful in what could be only described as a compromising position with a spork . With a blush, Pidge then shocked the crowd by announcing, "I hereby forfeit the election, due to the fact that it won't have any dramatic change on my fight against disorganized crime!" Offering his support and endorsement to Balloonatic.
Maxl and Balloonatic gave speeches, which are condensed in the press releases their respective campaign staffs have provided @Action News and are reproduced below.
Maxl To Run For SpinDizzy election! Nobody Cares!
Maxl to enter SpinDizzy election! Considered 'possibly better than the other guys'!
Contributed To @Action News By Maxl's Campaign Staff Of Rotting Zombie Corpses
Bucky the Lucky Badger
Election: What A Clown Nose Best *squeek*
Contributed To @Action News By The Balloonatic Campaign Staff
Hey!! *honk honk*. You I haven't felt what its like to run in a long time since I usually float. But people were saying I should run for election, whatever that is. But I'm running, I haven't gotten anywhere yet, but I'm having fun *bouncy squeak giggle*. Someone said I should say I want if I win this race (I don't know if I can, me feet only so often touch the ground). However, its my dream to have a happy Spindizzy where you can be silly, toony, balloonie, and anything else you want to be. I'm am scared thought, because of these Ninja who want to do nothing but pop Balloons like me and the few other and people who want to ruin the presses to do unhappy things. People should be able to smile, stretch, bounce, roll, expand, and above all, be happy. I may just be a happy, slap-stick energetic Balloon Clown Lion. But I feel everyone should share the happiness all round with smores, shinies, latex, gasses, and lots of balloons and sugar. Vote for Me, the Clown Lion and be happy. *squeak*
So, Just Who IS Running?
As of the time this issue of @Action News was going to press, it was understood that Morticon, Maxl, Balloonatic, Royce and Natasha were still hoping to win the election. Pidge has dropped out of the race. Skyler's candidacy was apparently a result of the editor's imagination.
Flutterz, Nimble Report Progress In Pylon Mystery
How The Squirrells Came To SpinDizzy
Contributed To @Action News By Tiresta
Operating System Debate Did Not Change Mind
Findra was misquoted in the article as saying that she would probably now use a Commodore 64, rather than a Sinclair QL, if she "were forced back to that era of computing." Her actual quote continued, "and if I were stupid and if it was one of the demands made by the people who'd kidnapped my parents."
Upon hearing the corrected quote, newspaper editor Argon organized a rescue party for Findra's parents, which soon marched to the edge of Spindizzy, walked into the Spindizzy Field, were thrown into the air, and landed safely on a pillow, made of bubble wrap and shaped like a dolphin, in Squirrel City. They regarded the expedition as "highly successful," and cast aspersions on Society of Evil Doers leader Morticon.
@Action News regrets the error. Findra's parents are reported to be fine.
Effectiveness Of Trix Rabbit's Schemes Debated
One recent attempt by the Trix Rabbit, to paint himself various colors so as to be camouflaged against the glowing streams of light emitted by the new color/flavors of Trix cereal, was dismissed by some parties as "pathetic" and "a sign he really needs help." Steve, speaking on behalf of a multicolored squirrel he knows, argued the principle of painting oneself many pastel colors was essentially sound, and that in the environment of the flowing streams of flavors it was workable. He proceeded to complain about every Cap'n Crunch commercial made since Jay Ward stopped animating them.
Contributing To @Action News
Our editorial policy is to inform our readers of news concerning the folks that populate SpinDizzy, and the events that happen here. We prefer to print stories that are In Character, although Real Life news of players from their Character's point of view, or Real Life events and their effect on our Muck community are welcome.
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