Incorporating The SpinDizzy Times Dispatch, And The Ferret
Published weekly except when it isn't
Vol. 1 Issue 23 Sunday - September 10, 2K
Three Announce Candidacy For SpinDizzy Election
Three SpinDizzy citizens have announced their intention to run for office in the upcoming SpinDizzy election. Skyler, local 'Toon Bunny, Natasha, well know Elastic Coati, and Morticon alleged leader of the SED and evil Wallaby, revealed their hopes this week in the Rose Garden to be elected .
Natasha told a crowd that she plans to run on the Mahogany platform, while Morticon spoke at length revealing little. (See next story) As of press time, Skyler hasn't spoken publicly concerning his run for office.
The election is to be held November 7th.
SED Party Press Conference
SED candidate Morticon held a press conference last week in the Rose Garden. Spokesbunny for the Party, Lamar Redtail, introduced proceedings by saying, "Hi Mort, or should I say, SpinDizzy's Next President!" Morticon grinned at Lamar and read from his notes, "Please.. please... let's not forget, I'm sure the other opponents have some good platforms. I wish them luck." Morticon then spoke to the crowd (Argon) and said, " Greetings, member(s) of the press. I'd just like to officially announce I am running for the spot of president in our wonderful nation of SpinDizzy". Although Lamar spoke to Morticon a number of times during his appearance, this reporter didn't hear the candidate refer to anyone as a 'Major League ass****' while in front of the open mic. One point in his favor over another candidate in a different race.
Morticon was holding a very unhappy looking kit Kit from Terra's litter, as a demonstration that he is a family wallaby. Morticon said, "When I am made president, I will have tax cuts for everyone!" Morticon then kissed the Kit, which struggled mightily.
As Morticon strained not to drop the kit and to get his notes in order, a few folks wandered in and listened. Questions were raised to clarify the party's stance on tax cuts, due to lack of any taxes. Lamar spin doctored Morticon's error by saying, "I think Mort was talking about putting a stop to the evil and malicious spending programs that the other candidates would put in place, which would severely over tax the good people of SpinDizzy!"
Morticon said, "I believe in this glorious nation and all it stands for! Peace, happiness, and shinies for all!
Problems arose when one member of the audience accused Lamar of being Canadian. Lamar's fur bristled. He turned attention away from his foreign nationality by saying, "How dar... Ahem... My friend you highlight how little the current administration has funded education... Now, the SED party has grand plans for... Re-Education of the Populace..." Morticon added, "We are going to hire more teachers and have more learning 'tools' in the classroom" The issue of Lamar's Canadianess was bluntly avoided as Morticon rambled on, offering no explanation of what these learning tools might be, or how they would be paid for without a raise in taxes.
Other topics mentioned but not explained by Morticon, included what he called, "The Immigrant Care Bear Issue, and Unregulated use of Tummy Ray Problem", which seemed to be a non-issue as far as the listeners were concerned. However, Morticon refused to address concerned expressed by the listeners, and the press as Lamar stated the candidate had been working hard, and was feeling a little tired and emotional. Morticon was seen to leave the press conference with a cute female member of the audience. The kit was dropped to the ground and left to find it's own way home.
It was noted by the three or four folks who heard Morticon's poorly prepared remarks, that Lamar should actually be running for the office, as he seemed to have a better understanding of communicating without actually offering any information. Lamar stated that Morticon was the 'brains' of the campaign, which offered little consolation to voters of a competent administration being put in place if, by some bizarre chance the SED candidate was somehow elected.
Operating System Debate Changes Mind
Royce Interviews Rose
Contributed To @Action News By Royce
SED Press Release
Contributed To @Action News By Morticon
In a surprise announcement today, Morticon stated that "The SED's prime goal will not be just taking over the muck. It will be expanded. The expansion will include general evil-doing as well, even if it has no end result (such as taking over the muck). General evil-doing is fun and plus it instills fear into the little minds---err, I mean --heads of SED'ers."
Ping Announces Revival Of Art Ambush
Ping, local 'Toon Mouse, has announced the popular Art Ambush event will again be gracing SpinDizzy. Although the event has not been featured for some time, Ping has determined that some changes to it are in store, and that it will be more spontaneous.
"The Ambush was fun, but it seemed a bit too organized to be defined as an 'ambush'," Ping said, "I plan to wait until what seems the proper time, when enough folks are on to make it fun, and just spring it participants. No prior notice, no opportunities to turn it in later, or to do it when you can. The folks will be given 20 minutes or so to draw it, and send it in. Oh, yes, they won't be posted on the SpinDizzy website either. It'll just be for fun. No pressure."
Ping also indicated he may ask participants for a subject rather than having one prepared. Hopefully, the first of the new format Art Ambush events will take place when you least expect it.
Frommer Claims Dire Possum Could Take Centaur In A Fight
This week in the Rose Garden, Reiter, along with Stalker and Argon, all local Centaurs, engaged in a discussion with Frommer, local Dire Possum concerning how each would fare in a 'fight' against the other. Frommer had made a comment concerning something Reiter took exception too. Frommer then countered with a Dire Possum's ability to physically take a Centaur.
The discussion explored the strengths and weaknesses of both species. The Dire Possum's ability to attack the Centaur's legs and it's ability to rend skin and muscle and even break bone with it's jaws. Being the size of a Black Bear, it would be a formidable adversary. Also the bacteria and disease which could be acquired from it's teeth was explained as a distinct threat. This was countered by the Centaur's weight and power, and it's ability to hold and use weapons with it's hands and arms.
Although Frommer suggested that a dim Dire Possum (non sentient) might attack a Centaur for food. It was admitted that a sentient one probably wouldn't, as he (Frommer) was civilized and not hungry at the time. It was also agreed that most Centaurs would retreat from the threat of such a large predator. Being Equine, a Centaur could probably get away from a straight on confrontation, and as Reiter and Stalker are 'Herd' Centaurs, felt that most predators wouldn't attack a group of Centaurs.
The discussion, reaching no provable conclusion, then moved on to genetic creation of Centaurs, and Mermaids, and even Dire Possums. It was guessed that creation of such grown from scratch might be done in 20 to 30 years, and that genetic transformation of Humans into such forms, and others (Furries) might be possible in 50 years. Of course, such would be dependent on moral and legal limits placed upon such techniques.
Aphids Go Wild In Rose Garden
Rose Garden visitors this week have found the local gathering place infested by the aphid herd which usually is well managed by Flutterz, local Dread Pirate. In spite of a thinning of the herd by Morticon, the aphids have increased markedly in numbers in just the few days that Flutterz has been away. Residents have found aphids on and in most everything, and the fact that they crawl on folks and are then carried about SpinDizzy have raised concerns that the entire muck may be swarming with bugs in a matter of days.
Local insect expert Ping, who as a programmer has dealt with a number of bugs, claims that the danger is being blown out of proportion. "Hey, they're little tiny things? How much can they eat?" He said, "Anyway, you ought to clean up the HTML on your site before you worry about aphids in the Rose Garden."
Authorities are currently assessing the situation, and will hold a meeting later this week to consider accepting bids and then hiring a consulting firm to offer proposals to solve the problem which will be voted on at the next quarterly meeting and implemented next year. Probably having an effect after the winter freeze kills the aphids.
"Silverhawks" Reference Flies Over Everyone's Head
MsDee Drops Cartoon Status - Shortage Worsens
Centaurs Are Horses - Proof!
Contributed To @Action News By SED Press Release
Thursday in the park, Reiter, species marked as 'Centaur', was enjoying himself in the Rose Garden, when Sebastian arrived and asked Reiter for a ride with the words "Canna have a ride, Mr Horsie? :D"
Reiter then looked a bit annoyed and claimed "Centaurs aren't horses!" but Sebastian did not seem very convinced, and neither is the SED. The fact that not only does the SED recognize centaurs to actually be horses, but an outsider (Sebastian) also agrees to that fact means that Centaurs are, indeed, Horses.
(Editor's Note: Morticon's claim is based on a request made in ignorance by Sebastian. Using the same criteria as proof, Morticon could be said to be female because he has a pouch. As Sebastian's error agrees with Morticon's claim, it still does not confirm that Centaurs are Horses. Not only is the obvious proof that they are not (Hands, shape of head, Human torso, intelligence) ignored by Morticon, but having someone agree with one's misconception does not make it so. To paraphrase an old adage 'Two wrongs don't make it right. )
Trivial Incident Fails To Make Newspaper
Contributing To @Action News
Our editorial policy is to inform our readers of news concerning the folks that populate SpinDizzy, and the events that happen here. We prefer to print stories that are In Character, although Real Life news of players from their Character's point of view, or Real Life events and their effect on our Muck community are welcome.
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