SpinDizzy's Newspaper

Incorporating The SpinDizzy Times Dispatch, And The Ferret

Published weekly except when it isn't

Argon Editor

Vol. 1 Issue 19                                                 Sunday - August 13, 2K

Spin, Dizzy Return; Take Rose Garden Crowd On Raft Cruise 

Spin, and his brother Dizzy, local 'Toon Squirrels, returned after a hiatus to once again bring fun and confusion to our community. After arriving in the Rose Garden and saying hello and how they were glad to be back. Austin referred to them as Chip and Dale; they took offense at being called Chipmunks, which are so radically different from Squirrels as to make the suggestion they were Chipmunks comical. 

The conversation moved quickly to other pairs of words that went together. Austin then asked if they were rhyme and reason, or maybe time and tide instead.  On  mention of the first, flakes of a green spice dropped from the sky to land on the cartoon Squirrels, of course. On the second, laundry detergent. Fortunately, a good-sized flood -- the tide -- came in, and Spin and Dizzy tied the time together to form a workable raft. Austin and Vassily climbed on. Austin tried valiantly to talk Max into climbing on, but was unsuccessful. Dizzy called out the water depths ('Mark one! Mark twain! Mark thrain! Mark fourn!') and the group sailed around nowhere in particular.

DreadPirateTheo Makes Poor First Impression

Contributed To @Action News By Vassily

A Pirate calling himself Theo, and claiming to be Dread, appeared in the Rose Garden to the slightly increased interest of all, late Tuesday evening, Rose Garden denizens were thrown into disarray by the arrival of evil.  Evil in the form of the Dread Pirate Theo and his robot parrot, with the Dread name of Polly.  Bystanders were stunned as the evil-doer made his plans known.  He meant to abduct everyone's favorite flower Fae and DREAD pirate, Flutterz.  This statement galvanized quasi-superhero and local predatory sloth Vassily into using his more or less amazing fruit powers to confuse and disarm both parrot and pirate with the assistance of Flutterz.  The alleged Dread Pirate Bob then fled into the MUCK with parrot in tow.  When reached for comment, SED spokeswallaby Morticon denied any knowledge of the attack.  When asked whether the attempted evildoing had been sponsored by his organization, Morticon remembered that he'd left his spoon boiling and left.

New SED Member Meets Organization's Standards Of Ineptitude

Morticon, local Wallaby and alleged leader of the much chagrined Society Of Evil Doers, announced the naming of Drimmer to the establishment. According to Morticon, Drimmer will fill the position of 'bodyguard' and will offer protection against threats and dangers to the evil Wallaby.

Drimmer is a tall Human, wearing a trench coat, hat, and black underclothing. Morticon went to great lengths to introduce Drimmer to this reporter who Morticon seems to feels is a dangerous threat to his poorly organized plans to take over SpinDizzy. This reporter was unimpressed.  The SED's alleged leader seemed to expect this reporter to quake in fear at his bodyguard's lack of vocalization (which may be a result of the IQ cap limiting 'minions' who join the SED), and flashy swords. Morticon stated that with the hire of his 'bodyguard' he would finally get 'some respect'.  He was reminded that respect is earned and also reminded that he owed money to this reporter, which Morticon denied. Litigation on this matter is pending.

After the appearance of Mavra, local Centaur, Morticon then attempted to press his point by tapping this reporter on his Equine chest, which is a sensitive area for Centaurs.  After being asked politely several times to discontinue that action, Morticon was gently pushed away from this reporter to put an end to the bothersome tapping.  Drimmer then lightly tapped this reporter upon the 'shin' of his foreleg just above the hoof.  Another sensitive area, the 'bodyguard' was pushed away to the same distance with no threat of response.

 The 'conversation', not resulting in any fear or concern, wound down and Morticon hopped off in shame. Drimmer, apparently stunned by his inability to cause fear or consternation, made no response as the two Centaurs left the area.

Jellicle Construction Project Progressing Well

PatchO'Black, local Jellicle Cat, invited a select group to tour his Crystal Mountain construction site.  Not yet open to the public, the 'tourists' were asked to wear hard hats and avoid some areas which might pose a danger to the group. The construction standards seem to be higher than normal, with well thought out descriptions, exits properly described and linked, and the area showing on wa and find.

The project is breath taking in it's scope.  As you pass behind the construction fence, you are confronted by a giant glass and crystal mountain.  The light reflecting off of and passing through it in a myriad of colors and intensities.  The eyes of a few of the group watering in response to the brightness and beauty of it.  Upon the summit of the mountain is a tall crystal tower from which a bright blue beam of light emanates, circling like a beacon.

From this area a path winds down to the mellow marshes, where Patchy, the owner and contractor of this area, harvests the wonderful marshmellows which he hands out from time to time.  However, passage through a portal who's operation was left unexplained, sent the group to the base of the tower at the top of the crystal mountain.  Ringing a crystal bell brings you inside the tower.

Although the basic framework is in place, Patchy is asking for assistance in finishing the details. When asked what sort of assistance he requires, Patchy replied, "Why, decorate the Crystal Tower! Design the kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom of my gemstone-home! Or come up with your own rooms! Winners will get credit on a plaque in the Crystal Beacon tower, as well as be announced in the newspaper. The overall motif is, of course, crystals and gems, but does not have to be limited to it (A mere hinting at it will be enough)." Contact PatchO'Black for details and an opportunity to show off your creativity.

'Shroomie Farm To Open

The long awaited opening of Flutterz’ 'Shroomie Farm is scheduled to take place on Monday. All (well, almost all) are welcome to come and explore to their heart’s and pocketbook’s content. The Farm is conveniently located near the rift (we think that’s the reason the 'shrooms are so magical) at (N4 E6) Any mycophagist not seeing what he/she needs at the Farm is encouraged to contact Flutterz.

Spaceroo Clobbered In Back With Anvil

Spaceroo, local .space Kangaroo, was complaining of severe back pain this week in the Rose Garden.  Describing the discomfort, He said it felt, "..as though someone dropped an anvil on it."  This led to discussion as to who might have done such an evil deed.

Morticon, local evil Wallaby and alleged leader of the SED was the first to be suspected, but the success of the action immediately ruled him out. Lamar's name was mentioned, but he just doesn't seem the type to use anvils for evil.

After much discussion but reaching no conclusions, the conversation then returned to the thrilling subject of asparagus.

Max Makes Abrupt Departure

Max, well known local Wolverine, caused concern and consternation upon his abrupt departure Thursday evening.  In the midst of a conversation concerning a story Wezlee, local Eagle is working on for a future edition of @Action News, and the arrival of TimesHeart, local  Mutant Tiger Morph CareBear Cousin, Max disappeared suddenly without a word.

Many theories were offered as to the reason for his quick exit. One, that Snagglepuss was his player was immediately dismissed as Vassily doesn't wear cuffs, as was the possibility that he was kidnapped by members of the SED.  Also suggested was the possibility of Dr. Xavier requiring his Mutant powers.  As of press time, the mystery has not been solved.

Wezlee's Flight Pattern

Contributed To @Action News By Wezlee

Hello my name is Wezlee and I will be trying to relay a perspective of the SpinDizzy from a "bird's eye view".  This will be a first installment of something that I hope will become a continuous thing.  Well being I am a Bald Eagle I can fly as well as walk around the SpinDizzy.  Actually I have tried to fly in a few places, but at this point not much has stuck with me as to the surroundings.  I can tell you that just the other day I happen to try and fly above the Rose Garden and found that there was a stable fleecy cloud that you could see occasionally AngelBear (I think that is his name, if not please forgive me) floating in and out of the cloud.   I was able to also see a space station model.  One thing that did catch my eye was off to the NorthWest a city of ruins from afar.  I did try once to go over to find it, but I guess my navigational skills still need to be honed.

I can say that just for the few times I have flown I did find some interesting things.  So with this little column I will be trying let everyone maybe get an different perspective of the SpinDizzy Muck in which we can start to appreciate what other nice things it has to offer.  I will say though,  SpinDizzy does look a little different from the air.    Sometimes when I try to fly and look down I in turn find something else that just can't be seen from the ground.  Please forgive me for  this short and simple beginning, but as time goes on we may be able to start getting a different outlook at our Muck.   So with that thus ends this portion of something that may become a regular thing for our nice paper.  Take care all until next time............................The Eagle has landed. 

Ask Auntie Findra

@Action News is happy to announce the introduction of 'Ask Auntie Findra', a weekly advice column and a place to get answers you can't find anywhere else.  Auntie Findra's enormous knowledge base, and unrestricted access to research tools unavailable to others gives her the power to answer all your questions and concerns.  Send your questions to Auntie Findra care of argon@spindizzy.org  

Dear Auntie Findra,
     I don't know what to do.  A certain Care Bear is always shooting tummy  rays at me trying to make me happy.  But I don't WANT to be happy.  Is  there a Tummy Ray filter I can buy, or should I just save my money and kill  him?
    Miserable And Happy About It

I've found that using a factor 30 ray block will last for a good 2 hours or so of constant exposure, but any longer than that tends to produce wrinkle around the mouth which lead to fixed grimaces after another 30 minutes.  Your local Walgreens should have a stock of factor 30, but if it doesn't then wearing a Regis Philbin mask should make them less excitable so they don't shoot off as much.
Seriously yours
--Auntie Findra

 Dear Auntie Findra,
      What is the command I enter that tells me when someone looks at me?
       Unobserved For All I Know

"@desc me=You lookin' at me or chewin' a brick" is obviously the command you've been told about.  Take if from me, you'll know when someone looks at you. 
Alternatively '@desc me=Git face!' will work just for people from Britain (or various chickens).
Yours voyeuristically
--Auntie Findra

Dear Auntie Findra,
     Are toons really impervious to harm, or are they incapable of showing  pain?
     Tweeting Birds Flying In A Circle

Hmm.  I'm currently conducting exhaustive tests on Skyler to verify this theory, but my Acme Splat-o-Matic Oversized Mallet keeps breaking.  He keeps saying 'ow', but I'm trying to determine if that's just for comic effect.  I'll get back to you after I have a statistically significant sample - say in a year or so.
Yours inquiringly,
--Auntie Findra

Dear Findra,
      Which is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
       Weighing On My Mind

I'm also testing this out with Skyler while he's still strapped to the table.  It seems the bricks make a far better impression, although the feathers tend to produce more sneezing and giggling.  So the answer seems to be the bricks, since he wriggles less with them on top of him.
Yours compassionately
--Auntie Findra
Dear Findra,
      Just who is buried in Grant's tomb?

Uhhh ...

 Dear Findra,
      Can I @toad another player?  Please?

Sorry, only one @toading per customer, and you've already had yours. =:) Now stop asking me, or I'll open the box of straws.
Yours hoppily
--Auntie Findra
 Dear Findra,
      How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I asked Austin and he said x, where x =
and mu is Reynold's tooth-wood constant.  You will notice that the inclusion of 4i in the integral makes the result imaginary.  Or at the very least complex.
Yours i^4thly
--Auntie Findra

Local Rabbit To Be Played By Ewan McGregor In Made For TV Movie


Lamar Redtail, employee of SED(plc), recently signed over rights for a TV movie version of his book "Trouble at the Lop, A Bunnies Tail" for a rumored sum of $145,000. After having his semi-autographical novel about his recent finance problems featured on the Oprah Book List, the bunny has been on the best sellers list. Some point to back room deals involving blackmail, chocolate muffins and other baked goods to his books placement on the list. Others say that the hard working bunny had earned his just reward. "I've learnt an important lesson through all of this." said Lamar at a press conference, "It doesn't matter what you do, if the media is on your side, you always win."

Contributing To @Action News

Several folks have asked how to contribute stories and ideas to this paper.  It's quite easy. Just write your story down, and send it to argon@spindizzy.org. (Be sure and include your character's name if you want to be credited with it.) Or page #mail it to Argon.  Even if you don't think you can't write well, or haven't fully developed your idea, send it along.  Our huge editorial staff can take any information and make a story from it. What you may consider a silly thing, or something no one cares about, could more than likely be of interest to our readers.  Look at the stories we print.  

Our editorial policy is to inform our readers of news concerning the folks that populate SpinDizzy, and the events that happen here.  We prefer to print stories that are In Character, although Real Life news of players from their Character's point of view, or Real Life events and their effect on our Muck community are welcome.

Although our vast network of reporters, stringers, and informants cover SpinDizzy like a glove, sometimes things get by us, or we miss an opportunity to inform you, our readers.  We depend on you to tell us not only things of interest to you, but to give us ideas and suggestions to make this paper better.  This is YOUR paper, so let us know what YOU'D like to see in it.  

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