Incorporating The SpinDizzy Times Dispatch, And The Ferret
Published weekly except when it isn't
Vol 1 Issue 15 Sunday - July 16, 2K
Sheen Infestation Threatens
Contributed To @Action News By Ho Chen Fai (Chen)
Rumors have been flying about a sheen infestation in Spin Dizzy, but nobody seems to know where they are, outside of vague comments by Flutterz about a place with hills and trees. Nobody but her and Nix have seen them. Still, care should be taken if there really is one about, which is why Argon had me dictate this article. He tried to get me to write it at first, until I turned something in and he found out that I couldn't even read (ed: garbled. Possibly 'ying new'?), let alone write it. But I think I've figured out how this thing works.
So you've got a sheen infestation. What now? Well, so you'll know when it's time to worry, let's start with what a sheen is and what it isn't. A sheen is basically a huge, free-willed golem made out of metal. They are built much like insects or stranger things, rather than being human-shaped like a proper golem. When seen they are usually in packs. They tend their nest and ignore other life forms unless they come too close - close enough for their seek-lights to touch you - at which point, they will usually attack. Running is best if one has sent its seek-light over you and decided to make you a target, especially since the cyst (if there is one) will be small. It would be nice if you can tell other people where you were later, but not necessary. Just get out of there as fast as you can.
Okay, so you've found some sheens and told other people where they are. What does it all mean? Probably it means that this is one of many places that the sheens have found and decided to move in to. It happens. An infestation should be dealt with quickly, before the cyst has time to build larger sheens. It starts with small ones, which are called floaters and renders. They're dangerous enough, but as time goes by, the cyst will start building larger and more dangerous ones. The forests or hills around the cyst will also start to die as the nest poisons its surroundings. This is the time most people call in a group of sheenchasers or a hunting-party of machine mages in, but seeing as there's only one around, this is probably where we start looking for other near-suicidal people. I'll do the best I can, of course, but there's always more than enough sheens to go around.
And so ends this quick lesson on sheen safety. Stay safe, and (ed: 'zai jyan?')!
Nix Returns From Meringue Mayhem
Nix, local Minor Demon who was last seen several months ago after falling through the crust of the Rose Garden and sinking into the filling beneath, reappeared this week. Offering little information about his where-abouts during all this time, he did mention metallic objects that chased him though the filling. In a disjointed manner, Nix sporadically described falling into the crust and then apparently being chased by robots. The reason for robots in the filling, and explanation of why they chased Nix was not forthcoming. However, it has been suggested that these metallic objects may have been units of the Sheen Invasion which has many residents concerned.
Nix's disappearance of several months, was further explained by several rumors which are circulating through the grape vine. One story being whispered is that, after falling through the crust of the Rose Garden, and sinking deeper to avoid the 'sheens', Nix sank far enough to find himself in the presence of a major demon, in fact, the head demon, who chastised Nix for not causing enough trouble and irritation to folks on the surface. After making Nix sit through a number of DR (Demon Resources) videos from the 1970's on how a demon was expected to act, Nix was told to return to SpinDizzy and start raising heck, or he would again be called back to Heck and given more 'direct' training.
Shadowstalker Takes 'Toon Plunge
Shadowstalker, well known SpinDizzy morphic 'Roo covered himself with that notorious can of 'Toon paint and joined the now swelling ranks of 'Toons here on SpinDizzy. After a few minutes of adaptation, Shadowstalker began searching for mallots and cartoon bombs just to see what it was like. His change to 'Toon status was met with looks of amazement, and fears of falling anvils and grand pianos. Shadowstalker has yet to appear in films, but is auditioning to replace the bizzare 'Bad Andy' Bear thing in the Dominos commercials.
Squirrelles Wow Crowd At Anthrocon
Contributed to @Action News By Tirestsa
As was reported here a couple weeks ago, the Squirrelles made an appearance at Anthrocon the weekend of June 30-July2. This was their second public appearance since reuniting, and it was by far their most successful. The audience here really seemed to enjoy their appearance, and they responded by performing several numbers.
The first song was Right Back Where We Started From, which they also did at Further Confusion, but went over much better here. Their next song was You Can't Hurry Love, a first time performance for them, and was also enjoyed by the audience. Finally, Darlene and Tiresta did backup on Silly Squirrel Dance, while Gracie Squirrel sang lead. Gracie is a good friend of the Squirrelles, and enjoyed filling in for one song.
After the shows, they were seen wandering around the con, making new friends. Rhonda had these comments about the shows: "It was really great to get back together again, and be so warmly received. We have now only sang together twice since our Sesame Street days, and have found furry audiences to be very receptive to us, after the problems on the show. It's so nice to have an audience again, and we hope to get together again soon, and make new fans."
The Squirrelles will next appear at Midwest FurFest in November, and probably Further Confusion in January.
The Circus Comes To Town
Contributed To @Action News By Timesheart Tiger
A traveling carnival, Professor No-Frost's Summer Extravaganza, has recently set up it's rides and tents in the park North of the Rose Garden. The kindly pudgy old weasel worked a good part of the night getting everything ready for the Summer season's grand opening. He even hired a few of the locals to help out. Finally, as the last of his 'carnival' began to take shape, No-Frost opened the gates and welcomed in the cheerful and happy people. Much fun was had that first day, and ticket sales were great. All in all, the preliminary proceeds were sufficient to keep the carnival up and running for the rest of the Summer (maybe longer).
After a few days, the second half of No-Frost's carnival arrived and set itself up. This portion had wild beasts and large circus tents. After the total setting up, the carnival/circus had pretty much taken over the park. A large central tent is audience to 3 daily shows and performances. A side-tent, the 'Freak-Show', is rumored to have the strangest and most rare creatures known to furkindred kind. Many people attended and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. However, not everyone can be entertained into a cheerful state of mind, as a few people appeared with mean and scowling moods, but being such a small faction of people, they were quickly forgotten in the wonders of the carnival's attractions. It should be mentioned that SED members were seen within the carnival grounds recently, so anyone planning a fun day at the carnival should be wary of SED's activities there-in.
Morticon Becomes Cetan - Puts Moves On Clarisa
Morticon, well know alleged leader of the SED and former Wallaby, surprised his associates by taking on Cetan form, and extending his failing world domination takeover bid to the underwater realms. Asking Clarisa for assistance in adapting to his form, they went to one of the many bodies of water here on SpinDizzy where Morticon adapted to his smooth slender form, and the use of his now fluked tail. Although much more pleasing to the eye than his Wallaby form, his advances led to no more than swimming lessons, as Clarisa had no interest in taking on the raising of young without the support and assistance of their father.
Terra, who is currently raising kits which she claims Morticon helped father, had no comment.
Otter Yiff Pitt Of Doom, The Myth
Contributed to @Action News By Floppytail The Magnificent
As most of you already know, otters have an undeserved reputation for being mischievous. The fact is that most non-otters feel no small amount of jealousy toward otter kind. I digress from the facts though. The undeserved reputation that has been bequeathed to otters has only gone to fuel deceitful rumors spreading around the community. No otter in their right mind would ever associate with something as base as the Otter Yiff Pitt of Doom. The very idea is probably repellent to most otters! So, as I have heard the rumor, otters could not have built such a palace of joyful love. It just wouldn't be in their nature. Perhaps that is another point that non-otters simply don't have the ability to understand.
Otter Yiff Pitt Of Doom Announces Expansion
The Otter Yiff Pitt of Doom, announced today that it was acquiring more land to increase the number attractions offered it's patrons. @Action News was told by an Otter on the promise of anonymity, and some fish, "We just don't have the space to properly service our visitors. We knew this would be a popular attraction, but we underestimated the number of guests who were eager to enjoy themselves here." The Otter went on to say that requests for more extreme forms of entertainment were being made by regulars. "We expected some interest in the more exciting events, but we had no idea of the number of repeat customers we would have, and the frequency of return visits. The Jell-O room is booked solid during the week, and hot tubs must be reserved two weeks ahead."
Although the very existence of the Otter Yiff Pitt Of Doom is denied by some, it was recognized last month by the SpinDizzy Business Club as SpinDizzy's most well known name. Surveys showing 4 out of 4 Otters were able to give specific directions to the attraction and all knowing the password to get in.
Royce Raccoony For 635th Straight Day
No one was surprised by these announcements.
Ping Announces Revival Of 'Art Ambush'
Numerous requests have finally been granted as Ping once again is holding his popular Art Ambush events. The Art Ambush, where participants are given a subject, and are expected to turn in their interpretation of that subject to get the coveted gold star by their names on the web site, will start again this Wednesday evening at 11:00pm EST. Note that the 'art' doesn't have to involve paper or paint, it can be a midi recording, a written piece, or whatever media you like. All works will be posted on the Art Ambush pages ( http://www.spindizzy.org/artambush ) and even if you can't participate Wednesday night, you can read the post about the subject and send your contribution in later.
Local Boy Claims Powers Over Melons, Citrus Fruits.
Local Sloth Vassily, discovered he posses amazing powers fruit. While attempting to discover his vast untapped array of super powers, Vassily discovered that he had the ability to create fresh fruit seemingly out of thin air. Starting with melons, he branched out into citrus fruits and berries. Bystanders noted that they need no longer fear scurvy, as fresh fruits full of vitamin C will be available whenever Vassily is around. He has promised to use this newfound power only for good. However he seemed concerned that folks might see him only as a source of free fruit.
Contributing To @Action News
Although our vast network of reporters, stringers, and informants cover SpinDizzy like a glove, sometimes things get by us, or we miss an opportunity to inform you, our readers. We depend on you to tell us not only things of interest to you, but to give us ideas and suggestions to make this paper better. This is YOUR paper, so let us know what YOU'D like to see in it.
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